OT: "Off-Topic Island"

docstox12 wrote:

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Doc, that 2 dollars seems to go a long way on OTI, a new saw blade and a soccer ball? Maybe you can finally buy some hammocks with the change?

Perhaps the low cost of living here should be part of an Ad campaign to draw tourists to the Island.

How about "Off Topic Island, our residents and visitors may not stick around, but your dollars are welcome to stay".

As per your suggestion I did cancel UN occupation of the Island. With the population varying between 0-2 people a peace keeping force did seem like overkill.  However I am still concerned regarding the potential conflicts between the Italians and Yukranians within me, when I am alone on the Island. Perhaps a straight jacket can be purchased for those times.

Love that slogan.We can go on the air on mainland tv stations with that one.

We don't print currency here. We go by a cocoanut standard.1 OTI dollar is backed by one cocoanut.As we have about 10,000,000,000,000 coconuts here, the treasury is brimming with cash! Unlike the Federal Reserve of the mainland which prints dollars that are backed by the hot air of mainland politicians, our currency is backed by SOLID means.I encourage all mainlanders to exchange their mainland dollars for OTI dollars to prevent the ravages of inflation that is to come.

Here is where I solve the problem of your Italian-Ukranian dichotomy.You will be in charge of our currency program.You will accept the currency with the Ukranian hand and give out our currency with your other Italian hand.You'll be too busy to worry about any personality split.

Doc, I don't really believe in reincarnation but if I did I would swear you were King Solomon reborn.

I gladly accept the position of Secretary of Currency for OTI. My first order of business will be to collect all of the currency owed to me from Snow Man during his sleepwalking raid of my coconut and banana trees during the civil war between the breakaway republics of IOOTI and YOOTI.

I find it a little disconcerting that Snow man disappears for days, and then is ready to swear allegiance to whomever made the last post. If North Korean Mad Man Kim Jong-Un joins our forum and posts in the OTI thread will Snow man swear allegiance to him too?

I submitted a petition to Parliament this morning to have Snow Man pay 10,000 coconuts to the Secretary of Currency or have his OTI citizenship revoked. I have already begun stockpiling large sticks in case another Civil War ensues.

Ah, yes, the gold-coconut standard.Hey, at least our currency is backed by something tangible rather than the mainland currency which is soon to be about as valuable as something you wipe your arse with.

Snow, you are being accused of pilfering the CP banana and coconut groves during his absconding to OOTI and engaging in the IOOTI and YOOTI Civil War.Parliament will hear your side of this issue whenever you wish to state it.

Kim Jong, Putin any other madman steps onto OTI at their own risks, because unlike the mainlands  milquetoasty response to such civil effrontry, we have means and methods of dealing with them. Quite simply, they will disappear completely in the jungles of OTI never to be seen or heard from again.No trials are necessary to waste OTI cocodollars, my judgement of the evil malevolence which I will ascertain in seconds looking at and talking to these maniacs, will condemn these evil ones to their doom.

Another idea has come to mind when I view the Bureau of Records log as to the number of visitors to the Island.Amazingly, there is an interest in what goes on here.

CP, do you have the technical connections for us to broadcast a reality show form the Island so the Treasury can get paid in more coconuts? I think we can make mony off of this!

SO I guess I am still KSW? have not been banished yet or no one has stepped up to the plate hmmmmm - awfully quiet around my neck of the woods - I love to hear birds chirping when I get off my straw bed in the morning.

There you are,KSW.Yes, you still are defacto KSW.However, you must produce a winter next year that is an old fashioned type that favors your area, mine and CP's and SNOW.I decree this as a result of your work this past winter but you are under suspect for the dreadful Feb.18th to March 31 period.Polish up your crown and summon up all the resources you will need beginning Oct 15th.

So ruled and legislated by OTI Parliament, April 4th Anno Domani 2014.

Harrowing flight from West Palm to Newark last night, bumpy as hell. I actually feared OTI might lose the Secretary of Currency. I'm not sure if our island paradise could have withstood the population decrease.

Thank God for the peace and quiet of OTI. No Island politics today, just recuperating on the sands of OTI. The search party for Snow Man will continue tomorrow.

I am posting a 25,000 OTI dollar reward, backed as always by our coconuts, for whomever can find Snow Man, or at least his remains.

Rumor has it we have several openings scattered about the island to parallel universes, I'm hoping he hasn't walked into one of them.

Doc, I am in discussions with the Oprah Network about an OTI reality series. They are concerned about viewers growing tired of seeing the same 1 or 2 residents each day. Until the population of the Island exceeds 5, their interest is limited.

I have a meeting with the Weather Channel tomorrow, they feel this has the potential to be their highest rated program.

amugs wrote:SO I guess I am still KSW? have not been banished yet or no one has stepped up to the plate hmmmmm - awfully quiet around my neck of the woods - I love to hear birds chirping when I get off my straw bed in the morning.

How come you get a straw bed and I get a cave? You're never even here.

I may steal Snow Mans Hollowed out log. The chances of him returning from his last expedition are lower than the Malaysian Government finding the remains of flight 370.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:I am posting a 25,000 OTI dollar reward, backed as always by our coconuts, for whomever can find Snow Man, or at least his remains.

Rumor has it we have several openings scattered about the island to parallel universes, I'm hoping he hasn't walked into one of them.

Doc, I am in discussions with the Oprah Network about an OTI reality series. They are concerned about viewers growing tired of seeing the same 1 or 2 residents each day. Until the population of the Island exceeds 5, their interest is limited.

I have a meeting with the Weather Channel tomorrow, they feel this has the potential to be their highest rated program.

Yes, I can see Cantore here one day when the "storm of the century" passes over us on OTI.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Harrowing flight from West Palm to Newark last night, bumpy as hell. I actually feared OTI might lose the Secretary of Currency.  I'm not sure if our island paradise could have withstood the population decrease.

Thank God for the peace and quiet of OTI. No Island politics today, just recuperating on the sands of OTI.  The search party for Snow Man will continue tomorrow.

Haven't flown since 1992 but I was in a few white knuckle flights like that CP.Thank heavens for your safe arrival, OTI would fold like a cheap suit if anything would happen to you.Kind of like losing Benjamin Franklin in 1783!

Our political structure is a kind of like Englands, a defacto King with a parliament.Everything easy, peesy. Japaneesy!

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:I am posting a 25,000 OTI dollar reward, backed as always by our coconuts, for whomever can find Snow Man, or at least his remains.

Rumor has it we have several openings scattered about the island to parallel universes, I'm hoping he hasn't walked into one of them.

Doc, I am in discussions with the Oprah Network about an OTI reality series. They are concerned about viewers growing tired of seeing the same 1 or 2 residents each day. Until the population of the Island exceeds 5, their interest is limited.

I have a meeting with the Weather Channel tomorrow, they feel this has the potential to be their highest rated program.

I will begin making cardboard cutouts of OTI residents with movable arms and legs so when Oprah's people come by, they will see the Island is more "populated" than the actual 4 we have.I say 4 loosely as Mugsy and Snow are on the lam and can't be reached with any dependability.

CP, as a stat man you will notice that when I last checked the Bureau of OTI Statistics this Tuesday AM, I noticed 1295 visits.Now there are 1405! Hmmmmmmmmm. Somehow the public is still taking notice of the goings on here on OTI.Has the mainland sent spies on a routine basis to keep track of us here?

The Bureau of Public Affairs and Tourism has informed me that perhaps a 100 coconut fee should be charged to each visitor here to raise revenue for public infrastructure improvements!

We can stamp the passports of these mainlanders with a double coconut logo.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Harrowing flight from West Palm to Newark last night, bumpy as hell. I actually feared OTI might lose the Secretary of Currency.  I'm not sure if our island paradise could have withstood the population decrease.

Thank God for the peace and quiet of OTI. No Island politics today, just recuperating on the sands of OTI.  The search party for Snow Man will continue tomorrow.

Holy Cow CP - we would be at a critical state without our OTI mainstay!! Our population would be at a detrimental level and I would have to declare the three remaining OTI folks to either pack up our goods or ship in some newcomers from the mainland at the discretion of the three remaining men - the King and 2/3 of his court!

I say this with great sorrow, but if our search parties cannot find Snow Man by April 15th the OTI government will be forced to declare him legally dead.

All of his OTI possessions, which include his hollowed out log, and over 20,000 coconuts and 10,000 bananas, most of which he stole during his sleepwalking raid of the YOOTI and IOOTI provinces during the district civil wars back in late March 2014, will be distributed equally among the remaining residents of OTI.

A memorial service will be held in his memory on April 18, 2014. All residents of OTI including, politicians, Kings, Ex Kings, Kings in exile, and any residents of the mainland that were touched by his postings, his love for snow, and his disdain for summer, are also invited and encouraged to attend.

Hopefully these arrangements are all for naught, and he is just out on a drunken coconut juice stupor somewhere on the island.

Sorry for this late reply, but as all communications are routed through mainline channels, and the speed of those channels are so slow that they make a snail look like Jim Thorpe, my reply was horribly late.

Mainland law decrees that 7 years must pass before any individual is declared legally dead. Are you sure that we should declare 1/4 of our population dead at this early stage.I don't mind confiscating his goods but the memorial service should be delayed by a reasonable amount.

Communicating while I still can, signed DOCSTOX

1 hour until we have to declare Snow Man legally dead.

What are the odds it would be snowing on the night that happens. This has to be a sign that he's still with us. Maybe we should delay the declaration of his passing until May 1. We may have to put this up to a vote of all the citizens of OTI.

Good news everyone, the ballot to delay declaring Snow Man legally dead until May 1 passed by a landslide 1-0 vote. Lets hear it for good old fashioned Democrarcy OTI style.

31.6 and still snowing moderately here on the DMZ of the former breakaway republics of YOOTI and IOOTI.

King Snow Weenie that I am has delivered teh goods an dwhere teh hell are my court jester's doc and Snowy??

CP you are a tried, true and blue warrior in the land of OTI. Keep up teh goo dwork. I hope Doc and Snow make it back alive or did you feed them to the dragon??

amugs wrote:King Snow Weenie that I am has delivered teh goods an dwhere teh hell are my court jester's doc and Snowy??

CP you are a tried, true and blue warrior in the land of OTI. Keep up teh goo dwork. I hope Doc and Snow make it back alive or did you feed them to the dragon??

Oh, King, thanks for that measly 1/4 inch of snow since February 18th, your plentitude of deliverance was truly amazing being April 16th. I've shaken out mops and gotten more white stuff!

As Steve McQueen said in Papillion....."Hey you bastards....I'm still here!"

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:1 hour until we have to declare Snow Man legally dead.

What are the odds it would be snowing on the night that happens. This has to be a sign that he's still with us. Maybe we should delay the declaration of his passing until May 1.  We may have to put this up to a vote of all the citizens of OTI.

Good news everyone, the ballot to delay declaring Snow Man legally dead until May 1 passed by a landslide 1-0 vote.  Lets hear it for good old fashioned Democrarcy OTI style.  

31.6 and still snowing moderately here on the DMZ of the former breakaway republics of YOOTI and IOOTI.

I second that 1-0 vote for the May 1st declaration!

This April snow is truly an omen for my pending move to the Northernmost area of OTI where, as oldtime stories of yeeterday related, coconuts always abounded in greater quantities than the evil Islands of South and East.

docstox12 wrote:

amugs wrote:King Snow Weenie that I am has delivered teh goods an dwhere teh hell are my court jester's doc and Snowy??

CP you are a tried, true and blue warrior in the land of OTI. Keep up teh goo dwork. I hope Doc and Snow make it back alive or did you feed them to the dragon??

Oh, King, thanks for that measly 1/4 inch of snow since February 18th, your plentitude of deliverance was truly amazing being April 16th. I've shaken out mops and gotten more white stuff!

As Steve McQueen said in Papillion....."Hey you bastards....I'm still here!"

Tisk tisk my good fellow court jester - take what you can get.

As my kindergarten teacher woudl alweays say - "You get what you get an dyuo don't get upset" if my fellow OTI mates woudl just live by this simple rule 1/4 odf snow for April is more than the norm so we should all be happy with some white gold.

granted I have blown chow since Feb 18th and I can be a man and admit to this but I in my utmost royalty have been ashamed of my failure to deliver to my good mates. It is not for the lack thereof but just uncontrolable forces that are greater the than I the King Snow Weenie.

As for Snowy I concur that we give the goo dlad and freind until May 1st to show is attendance at this great land of OTI. If not ...................as the great Seinfield Show on Masterbation - "And then there were three"

carry on and let's get thi sland for Spring Gents!  

Now hold on there CP and fellow OTI members. I'm certainly not dead, but for a while I sure felt like it. I've been recovering from a little more shoulder surgery. I like to thank all of my fellow OTI countrymen for being concerned about my MIA status. But every thing turned out ok and I'm back on my favorite place the OTI. Believe it or not on April 15th I had 2 inches of snow, of course it was only on the deck and colder surfaces. I'm sort of glad it didn't stick to the roads though because I'm getting a little anxious to take my two favorite cars out for a spin as soon as I get the OK from the doc that I can start driving again. I will see you all a little later.

Ah, it is so good to see you back SNOW, from your recent surgery on the mainland.Also great that Mugsy and CP are checking in as well.We have our solid 4 man population of OTI all set for when the next snowfall season begins Oct 15th here on OTI and the mainland again lights up with winter conversation.You can be sure I will always be here to maintain the governmental and infrastructure requirements, albeit minimal, until Oct 15th when perhaps more citizens of the mainland set up dual citizenships here on OTI and the mainland.

Looks like you and CP jackpotted out on ther last surprise snowstorms.Ah, those April and October OTI surprises!

Have a blast with the cars.I'll tip my hat on Coolbagh Road to you SNOW, as I will be out there April25-27 trout fishing the mainstem Delaware and also Hidden Lake.Gonna go to Floods in Strouidsberg, the joint with a million beers on tap.Cigars, beer, poker, fishing.....almost better than life on OTI.

So, since all traces of life, barring myself, have left OTI without word, I hereby dissolve Parliament and declare an emergency situation whereby I take control of the Island.Come next winter season, any and all who wish to set foot on OTI will have to fill out immigration forms, pay a fee of 1000 coconuts and be personally interviewed by myself to see if you are a worthy candidate.They will bow and genuflect to my authority!!!!

Sadly, I must take these extreme measures as a result of the desertion of the remaining citizens. I only see Mugsy on the mainland occaisionally, but since he has not visited here in many days, his Snow Crown is now mine to give to a new candidate come October 15th.

I will dutifully carry on inspection and maintenance procedures on OTI and will be leaving for a 15 day tour of duty making a report on the status of the Island.

That is all.

1000 coconuts. Lol

OMG, a visit from the Emperor of the Mainland.Frank,you are welcome on OTI anytime, and,of course, OTI's autonomy is a direct result of your benevolent leadership.

You see all you citizens of OTI who have deserted it in the last 15 days the charismatic leadership I display. The Emperor visited OTI!

docstox12 wrote:OMG, a visit from the Emperor of the Mainland.Frank,you are welcome on OTI anytime, and,of course, OTI's autonomy is a direct result of your benevolent leadership.

You see all you citizens of OTI who have deserted it in the last 15 days the charismatic leadership I display. The Emperor visited OTI!

Hilarious!

Wow, first the Emporer, now the distinguished Doc from the mainland graces our humble abode.We the citizen(ry) of OTI are grateful and pleased we have attracted your attention.We here on OTI consider, you, Doc, to be one of the finest winter prognosticators on the mainland and we will certainly be paying the strictest attention to your coming analysis come mid October when the winter fun is just beginning to take shape.

Drop us a line now and then.

Now, back to maintenance and inspection in Sector 3 of OTI. Reports of a coconut tree demolishing the hut of a former (ahem!) citizen who goes by a handle PC, err, PCP or was it CP?

DOc,

Where has all the flowers gone? Long time ago - and PCP no CP is his call name is one of them along with SNOWMAN. I have had many run in with the locals in sector 6 and you know what sector 6 can be like! I have just gotten back to my humble abode to find three blind mice and little pigs running around! WTF is going here! The mice informed me through a translator that is the female counter to SNOW MAN an dmight I add much better looking that Parliment was disbanded by teh Great Ol' Doc and there was no one to approve this motion.

Yo can wear my crown for as long as you like this summer and then return it to me its rightful owner come Nov 1. I too liked to play King of his castle when I was a young lad but it seems more dementia to this situation at the time.

I'll check to find the report on Sector 3 and I see we have been blessed and honored by the Emperor (Frank) and his most trusted man SROC!

The roads must be in good condition for such visits!

Off to see how the mainland is hold up these days with such nice weather.