OT: "Off-Topic Island"

docstox12 wrote:I defer  to your superior judgement in OTI Treasury matters and wholeheartedly support the Queens election.Let the whole mainland know that we are an equal opportunity entity and any and all are candidates equally in any OTI role.Please inform the Queen I would like to discuss her role in a "private" meeting, ahem!

I agree about Hector.His complete indifference and disdain for snow after Dec 31 made him a weak candidate for our efforts.In our hastiness to avoid invasion from Sir Sroc's armies and navies, we proposed Hector.

Doc as the leader our Parliament I of course defer to you and I appeal to our new Director of Tourism and Immigration ex king Mugsy to arrange a private meeting with you and Queen Star to discuss her qualifications.

Ex king, and super patriot Mugsy, please forward Queen Stars resume, in a private message of course, to Doc asap so we can make this all final.

I would ask you also submit her resume to sir Snowman but since he is awol what's the point.

Regarding Sir Sroc, and Sir Al, since they are both on extended stay VISA's I don't believe they should be involved in the internal politics of OTI at this time. However Sir Sroc is one of Emperor Franks closest advisors and in the past has shown his military might. Should he demand Queen Stars resume for the good of the citizenry please forward it to him no questions asked. Sir Al will have to wait in line until his immigration papers can be properly processed.

amugs wrote:

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Doc and all citizens and visitors to OTI.

We have a new leader and her name is Queen Star.

As I was the only resident that able to get a glimpse of her before Emperor Frank had to understandably take her picture down, I hastily held an OTI election and she was unanimously placed in the position of new queen of OTI.

Hector never really sought after, or showed any interest in the position of King. And let's face it he is the complete opposite snow wise of what we're looking for in a king.

Queen star However has certain attributes that make any wanting for snow insignificant. I would ask that former King Mugsy please forward both of you a picture of Queenstar in a private message so you both can see why she was unanimously made the new queen of OTI.

Your last wish has been granted and I thank for this one last act as King Snow Weenie of OTI!

Excellent choice and she has made an impact already I mus say - great things to come with her at the helm   - sorry Hector - HAHAHA!

Mugs:

The visitor log approaches 5,000, you are a marketing genius

I seem to have misplaced Queen Stars resume, could you please forward a copy to me too, at your earliest convenience.

I was hoping to have several thousand copies made, and wallpapering the Department of Treasury with her image as a tribute to her highness.

Mugs,

After viewing the Queen's picture, I wholeheartedly agree with CP on your marketing genius as visits to OTI skyrocket and visa charges fill our Treasury.CP will be up nights now counting the revenues . Perhaps his wallpapering the Treasury with the new Queens posters will inspire him in this effort but I expect, and wouldn't blame him, if the counts are somewhat off as huis eyes will not be on the money for sure.

I anxiously await my private meeting with the Queen to "certify" her "credentials" before formal ceremonial coronation proceedings.I may not make it out alive from that meeting, but I know OTI will carry on.

These magnificent developments have still not erased my concern over the disappearance of Snowman. Where is he and what is he up to? Perhaps a search party should be organized on OTI.

From your recent photograph, Mugsy,you appear thin and tired, however, there is a big smile on your face.

I suggest a week off from your "regal" duties with the Queen and spend some time relaxing on our OTI beaches.

OK, Mugsy, I'll be there at 2:30.

My fellow citizens of OTI, enjoy yourselves tomorrow at the Mainlander get together. Please send my regrets to Emperor Frank and the rest of his cabinet, Sroc, Janet, Al, etc, etc.

I am currently bogged down at Queen Stars private beach trying to finish the 2015 budget, which is already 9 days overdue. I am trying to apportion some money previously appropriated for hammocks, which by the way still haven't come Doc, and create a Department of Missing Persons so we can finally find out what has happened to 25% of our population, also known as Snowman.

Hopefully next year I can break away from my duties here on OTI and join you both.

MY good man, no rush on that budget, you and Queen Star take as long as you want which I'm sure you will.Not to worry, revenue streaming in from tourist visas over 5100 now.I'll check on those hammocks we ordered while I am on the mainland with Sir Mugsy King ex-Officiado.

On a grimmer note, the missing status of our beloved pal Snow worries me greatly.I suspect malfeasance on the part of the Zookeeper as a result of your renewed attacks via a mainland thread recently.Perhaps Snow was kidnapped in retaliation.

Snow man is missing now for 30 days. I find you're zookeeper theory troubling Doc but of course very plausible.

When do we have to declare him legally dead?  After that when do we auction off his hollowed out log and coconut and banana trees? I'm not sure if he had any other possessions on the island. It's a shame he never got to see the queens coronation.

Also did he carry any official titles on the Island other than Snowman? Was he the director of snowmen? On a tropical island that seems rather superfluous.

Many things to sort out. I hope the queen is up to it after our weekend budget meetings. We were up late both nights, working of course.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Snow man is missing now for 30 days. I find you're zookeeper theory troubling Doc but of course very plausible.

When do we have to declare him legally dead?  After that when do we auction off his hollowed out log and coconut and banana trees? I'm not sure if he had any other possessions on the island. It's a shame he never got to see the queens coronation.

Also did he carry any official titles on the Island other than Snowman? Was he the director of snowmen? On a tropical island that seems rather superfluous.

Many things to sort out. I hope the queen is up to it after our weekend budget meetings. We were up late both nights, working of course.

The body of SNOW is still warm and you want to auction off his goods? Too friggin' funny.I think all that comedy with that Queen Star is affecting you,CP, although I envy your standing with her.

I do believe that if SNOW has not returned by March 21 st, the first day of spring, he will be declared officialy,absolutely,positively,REALLY, dead because if he does not return in this, the winter season, he will never come back,.You will have official clearance at that time, as Director of the Treasury, to confiscate all his goods and set up an auction, the proceeds of which, will go to the general revenues of OTI.

I t is with a very heavy heart I even write this type of conversation concerning my dear friend Snow who I pray returns forthwith to our beloved Island to continue the hilarious repartee.

Do you realize that his disappearance coincides with this horrible snowless stretch of weather beginning after November.I know he was around during November.Hmmmmmmm........

Thanks for that info, Frank, and , seriously, I do hope everything is allright with Snow.I miss him.

Same here Doc. When emperor Frank chimes in I get a little worried.

One theory to ponder.

Right after SnowMan disappeared Queen Star shows up. We've never seen both of them on the island at the same time. Come to think of it we've never actually seen snowman. The only reason we know he exists on OTI is from his writings, often times hysterical, his hollowed out log and the banana peels and coconut shells he leaves littered about the island. Is it possible that snowman and queen star are one in the same?

I'm freaking myself out with that thought.

Maybe the Zookeeper transformed our beloved Snow into Queen Star?

My reaction to that is as hysterical and emotive as that announcer who was witnessing the Hindenberg bursting into flames..."Oh, the Humanity..."

I certainly hope your usual incredible perceptiveness and rational thinking are totally off base with this theory!

After a late night on the mainland it's good to end the night back in OTI. Nothing like a mans hammock less, I know Doc hammocks are coming any day now, spider infested cave to induce a peaceful nights sleep.

I may head over to the Treasury office to continue work on the 2015 budget. Perhaps the queen is working late too. Hopefully dressed in her snow outfit. It's about 82 here tonight so that outfit should have melted by now. Yes I'm definitely headed over to treasury. I need to setup a budget for the snow man search party.

Where the hell are you snow man? Come out of hiding already and face this God forsaken joke of a winter like a man. The queen owes you five lashes for going AWOL and that could be a good thing.

Ah, yes my man, those duties with Queen Star are calling so please work on that 2015 budget.

Agree completely on the Snow search and will ratify at parliament any budgetary needs required.Ironic that Snow would disappear with the magnificent queen available for consultations at any time.I think you may have hit the nail on the head as to his disappearance.I think he is in hiding because he can't face the awful reality of this bizarrely miserable pattern with lack of mainland snowfall.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJOjTNuuEVw

Look at that visitor registry and all the revenue coming in from tourist visas.CP!!!!!!!!!!!

Just friggin hysterical Doc.

Good citizens of OTI, Most honorable head of Parliament Doc, Director of Immigration and Tourism Mugs, Missing Snowman, Emperor Frank, General Sroc, almost Queen Dunzoo, and all other visitors whether here on legal Visa's or illegal immigrants trying to escape the catastrophic NON winter of 2014/15.

I, first name CP, middle name, cantmeasure, last name, Snow, do solemnly swear that I will no longer set foot on the Mainland for the rest of this God awful, God forsaken, pathetic joke of a winter that is the NON winter of 2014/2015.

Why I have delayed making this decision this long is beyond me. I have known since 1 second after midnight on January 1, 2015 that the rest of this winter would decay into the cosmic joke it has become. The all knowing and all powerful December Prognosticator was set in stone at that time and already had pre determined that snow wise this winter which began, at least in the HV, in November and ended in December is over.

The December prognosticator has always been, is now, and always will be. The Non believers on the Mainland can discuss changing patterns, EPO's, NAO's QBO's, AO's, stratospheric warming and all of their Science until the cows come home, but it won't change what is and what is to be.

I will be in conference with Queen Star the rest of the weekend. Please send all correspondence and communications to OTI until next October 15 2015. This is CP Cantmeasure Snow officially declaring that the winter of 2014/15 which never was, and never will be, is now done.

Emperor Frank.

All citizens of OTI are honored and humbled any time you visit our island which of course you yourself created with one wave of your mighty hand.

Your powers are great and not doubted by me or any other citizens of OTI. You analyze and see things with a foresight and discernment that none of us will ever attain. Since I am a mere mortal I must resort to Vodoo and hail the powers of the December Prognosticator hoping this will somehow reverse the pattern and cause a catastrophic failure in the December prognosticator and a return to a snowy pattern. I know it's hard to believe a 53 year old man that runs a company can sink to this level but it is what it is.

I now must resume the search for snowman. Carry on the great work Emperor Frank we the citizens of OTI have always been and always will be your biggest fans.

Friggin' tears in my eyes LMAO at you and the great and powerful Emperor Frank who would deign to visit OTI and answer your woeful non-event winter post.We must remember that we of OTI owe everything to the mighty and wise emperor Frank who with one poke of a finger could obliterate the very existence of our Island.

I do appreciate your logic,CP, of making OTI a refuge for snow lovers during miserably miserly non-snow winters.If you remember, I did propose allotting funds for construction of a sanitorium for the more snow deranged such as Syosnow, God Bless his poor soul.

I, as you, quake and fear at the power of the all knowing December Prognosticator and it's uncanny ability to squash the spirit of a snow lover in years such as this.However, the great and mighty Emperor Frank is probably the only person with powers and abilities far beyond the realm of mortal men to change the course of mighty rivers, more powerful than a locomotive and can bend steel in his bare hands ( and who, disguised as Frank Mars, mild mannered Transportation Analyst at a chocolate factory),can defeat the December Prognosticator and will fight for truth and justice for all snow lovers.

"All we are saying....is give Frank a chance!"

PS--CP, I ran a Dental Practice for 25 years and my beloved patients had no idea of the pathetic addiction to snow and cold their Dentist had.If I had a dollar for everytime I looked out a window during the winter, I could have retired 5 years sooner.

CHEERS!

Doc I grabbed my phone this morning before getting out of bed and of course this was the first post I came to. I started laughing and my wife turns to me and says not the weather forum again.

Tough times on the Mainland today. Emperor Frank hasn't thrown in the towel yet but I can tell even he's losing patience with this winter. Me I'm staying on OTI until I see my lawn covered in snow. Of course the way things are trending that may not happen until November 2015.

Loved the superman references. I use to rush home from school to watch those black and whites on channel 11. What a different world that was.

Yeah, CP, thank God for that Hallmark Thanksgiving in the HV with that 9 inches.Sadly, that could be it.Emperor Frank trying to dig one out of the dirt for us and I truly hope for all of us it pans out.

Knew you would pick up on the Superman intro Re.Frank.We come from a different planet, friend, those absolutely wonderful WPIX days after school, Superman, the Stooges, Bud and Lou, Norton and Ralph.Don't think a week goes by I don't give thanks to have lived and enjoyed them.

Today's would be the kind of storm the snow haters when I was a kid would say to rub it in...."and just think if this is all snow how much we would have got!"......"BANG,ZOOM......."