OT: "Off-Topic Island"

I will accept the inevitable and rescind my request for Benevolent Dictator For Life.Apparently the Citizenry is mistrusting of my motives and is comparing me to horrible individuals who succumbed to megalomania and led their populaces to ruin and poverty.Far be it from me to instill these fears and, as such, OTI will remain exactly the same as it is now, I totally accept that concensus and close the voting to get the matter behind us.

Yes, we are approaching the amazing milestone of the 10,000 visitor on OTI but I think the rate of accrual towards that goal will slow somewhat as the Tourist Season here is winding down after the hectic Mainland Winter season.As such, there will be plenty of time for planning the monumental celebration.

As mentioned above, I will begin infrastructure inspections of the Island after the heavy Mainland Tourist traffic this season as we must keep our Island in tip-top shape.The reserves are there in the budget surplus for repairs.Of course, I will submit a list of repairs i consider necessary for Citizen and Parliament approval.

Docstox, Director of Parliament

April 6 Anno Domani 2015

That's the point Doc.  You remain our benevolent head of Parliament and it's all good. Every position for life only invites abuse and eventually megalomania that's just human beings, very few can resist the evils that full unchecked power eventually bring. You could be that rare exception but why take the chance.

What we have to concentrate on now is the six-month search for snowman.

If my calculations are correct we should reach the 10,000 visitor sometime around Thanksgiving day next November. It's never too early to plan and the treasury is full so we shouldn't spare any expense for that inevitable day. I believe the celebration should be along the lines of the OTI Independence Day celebration only more elaborate.

I shall discuss with the queen and get her thoughts.

CP can't measure snow
Grand high exalted mystic ruler
Director of the treasury

Your opinions are of the utmost importance,Treasury Director, for without you and the Queen, there is no OTI!

Perhaps we can allocate the funds out of the surplus for the 10,000 visitor celebration while the Treasury is flush!

I sincerely hope SNOW has not met with any misfortunes that prevent him from being here.I assume it is an early retreat back to his Mainland Estate as a result of the rapidly approaching warm season weather.He is an extreme winter diehard and probably will hibernate in a reverse manner during the warm weather months.

Your fellow OTI Citizen,Docstox.

Just got back from my inspection tour and as I entered OTI Capital City, this is what I heard:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoiV7c46C1A

No SnowMan, no Mugsy, no CP and the Queen and no Taffy.They have all abandoned the Island for their Mainland Villas and AGAIN, like last seasons stretch from April to November, it is myself who will be the sole resident of the Island.I'll have to report all of this to Parliament...wait a minute....I am the parliament now,heh.heh,heh!!!!

I am preparing the report on OTI's infrastructure status after the wear and tear of he massive tourist visit onslaught from the wicked winter season on the mainland as well as the OTI Independence Day Celebration.We will have 6 months to get the Island back in shape for the next winter tourist season.Since I have no help AT ALL here, I will place ads on the internet for foreign workers who will accept bananna/coconut currency to help make the repairs.

Report to follow in a few days.

Present!!

We have now entered off-season which runs on OTI from April 15 to October 15. Of course there were years like 1977 and 1987 when we received the freak October 3 or May 10 snowstorm but those are few and far between but I digress.

To attract tourists to the island during our slow months we offer two things in particular, one is 75% off everything. This includes food, entertainment, and lodging, although there are no hollowed out logs or hammocks available, no finger pointing intended. And of course there are the tours of the Queens Sandcastle. The rates on these go up during the off-season by 10,000%. The reason being Queen Stars snow bikini melts in temperatures above 70°. For this reason no one under the age of 18 is allowed to tour the Sandcastle between April 15 and October 15.  

I'm sure the head of Parliament will be done with his inspection tour shortly. Just like I'm sure those hammocks have rounded Cape Horn by now and are only a couple of days from docking on the OTI Shores.

I am still unhappy with the Snow Weenie/King Queen name of this thread. It makes it sound like this whole thread is the ramblings of some deranged middle aged men, pretending they rule an Island paradise, with a beautiful queen that runs around in nothing but a bikini made of snow. Absurd

Parliament will work the next six months on a name change which I fully agree must occur and will be accomplished by the start of the next winter tourist season.However, I expect this will occur in Parliament:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmkvO_IwsZ0

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:We have now entered off-season which runs on OTI from April 15 to October 15. Of course there were years like 1977 and 1987 when we received the freak October 3 or May 10 snowstorm but those are few and far between but I digress.

To attract tourists to the island during our slow months we offer two things in particular, one is 75% off everything. This includes food, entertainment, and lodging, although there are no hollowed out logs or hammocks available, no finger pointing intended. And of course there are the tours of the Queens Sandcastle. The rates on these go up during the off-season by 10,000%. The reason being Queen Stars snow bikini melts in temperatures above 70°. For this reason no one under the age of 18 is allowed to tour the Sandcastle between April 15 and October 15.  

I'm sure the head of Parliament will be done with his inspection tour shortly. Just like I'm sure those hammocks have rounded Cape Horn by now and are only a couple of days from docking on the OTI Shores.

I am still unhappy with the Snow Weenie/King Queen name of this thread. It makes it sound like this whole thread is the ramblings of some deranged middle aged men, pretending they rule an Island paradise, with a beautiful queen that runs around in nothing but a bikini made of snow. Absurd

That last paragraph sums it all up.It was wise of Emperor Frank to create OTI to exile us and where we can rule in our own minds,LOL! Say hello to the Queen,CP!

docstox12 wrote:Parliament will work the next six months on a name change which I fully agree must occur and will be accomplished by the start of the next winter tourist season.However, I expect this will occur in Parliament:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmkvO_IwsZ0

Looks like one of those baseball brawls where everyone charges the field and other than minor wrestling matches no one does anything when they get there.

We are all men and women of non-violence here on OTI we will resolve the name dispute without the use of sticks and sand of mass destruction.

I will send your regards to the Queen. The temperature is suppose to surpass 70 today, that snow bikini will not stand up to heat, can't wait.

Doc:

Please make sure when the Island is left abandoned, as appears is happening frequently, to lock all of the gates. You may want to address that at the next meeting of Parliament.

CP
OTI Director of the Budget
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler.
I am now officially shortening my second title to "GHEMR"

CP,

Not to worry.I am always here.Report on Island Infrastructure and any coconut/bananna ready projects will be delayed slightly as I have a Mainland fishing trip coming this weekend and will be totally involved in fishing, beer, poker, beer, cigars, beer....and beer.

Your continued patience is very much appreciated.

Docstox
Director of Parliament and all about Island Jack of All Trades.

docstox12 wrote:CP,

Not to worry.I am always here.Report on Island Infrastructure and any coconut/bananna ready projects will be delayed slightly as I have a Mainland fishing trip coming this weekend and will be totally involved in fishing, beer, poker, beer, cigars, beer....and beer.

Your continued patience is very much appreciated.

Docstox
Director of Parliament and all about Island Jack of All Trades.  

Doc:

Don't forget the beer, for some reason it sounds to me like it's an important part of the weekend. Enjoy, I will watch over the Island during your absence.

CP
OTI Director of Budget
GHEMR

Frank_Wx wrote:I have been getting into craft beers

Geez Frank give us advanced warning before your next visit, we'll have all the craft beer you want.

The Island is a mess with Doc away on his fishing trip, it's embarrassing. We still haven't cleaned up from the OTI Independence Day celebration and we're in the middle of the planning for the 10,000th visitor celebration. Please excuse our appearance.

If you'd like to visit with the Queen please let us know ahead of time, we will try and plan for a day that it's above 70 degrees. Trust me.

We are planning for the 10,000th visitor around THanksgiving Mike. We will not resort to sorcery to get there.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

docstox12 wrote:CP,

Not to worry.I am always here.Report on Island Infrastructure and any coconut/bananna ready projects will be delayed slightly as I have a Mainland fishing trip coming this weekend and will be totally involved in fishing, beer, poker, beer, cigars, beer....and beer.

Your continued patience is very much appreciated.

Docstox
Director of Parliament and all about Island Jack of All Trades.  

Doc:

Don't forget the beer, for some reason it sounds to me like it's an important part of the weekend. Enjoy, I will watch over the Island during your absence.

CP
OTI Director of Budget
GHEMR

Yes, my friend, beer was in abundance as well as Makers Mark Bourbon, Jameson's Irish Whiskey and an Irish Whiskey purchased over there.Sad thing is , this friggin' cold mainland weather (low of 30 and 32 degrees) the nights I was there got me re-infected with a cold I got rid of last week.It's back to OTI now for a cure in the OTI Hot Spring Spa and lying in the hot sand on the beach.Sadly, my report will be a few days late as a result but I know you folks will make do.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

Frank_Wx wrote:I have been getting into craft beers

Geez Frank give us advanced warning before your next visit, we'll have all the craft beer you want.

The Island is a mess with Doc away on his fishing trip, it's embarrassing. We still haven't cleaned up from the OTI Independence Day celebration and we're in the middle of the planning for the 10,000th visitor celebration. Please excuse our appearance.

If you'd like to visit with the Queen please let us know ahead of time, we will try and plan for a day that it's above 70 degrees. Trust me.

Not only will I tap into the treasury surplus with your permission, Treasury Director, to provide Emperor Frank with the finest choice of craft beers but I will give him a bottle of our finest aged ( 1 year) coconut liquor which will be followed by a banana daquiri , banana's we got plenty of.

The Queen, CP tells me, has always been amazed and awed by your wisdom, intelligence and handsomness, so just let CP know about an assignation!

170 days till October 15th, the official beginning of tourist season.

And we wait.

Doc, what is your medical status? Should the Vice Head of Parliament be alerted?

CP,my good man, I am currently crippled with a horrible chest cold and am seeking therapy at the OTI Spa.Will be out of commission a few more days but the infrastructure report will be made in it's entirety shortly.

Only 6 months to go before tourist season begins in earnest.OTI will be completely repaired and ready by then, our Infrastructure Team will handle all bannana ready projects.

COUGH...HACK....OVER....OUT!!!!!!!

This Tuesday is Cinco De Mayo on OTI when we celebrate the victories of OTI over the breakaway republics of OOOTI OOOOOTI and OOOOOOOTI.

Several banana and coconut trees were damaged during the war. A memorial statue has been erected in sector 3 in memory of the trees lost. Drinks on the island are 80% off during this day of reflection and celebration. Enjoy.

CP CantMeasure Snow
GHEMR

OFFICIAL DAMAGE REPORT AS A RESULT OF THE MASSIVE TOURIST SEASON AND INDEPENDENCE DAY CELEBRATION

1) 2,365 coconut trees damaged by various means ie: vehicles driving into them, horses and mules rubbing up against them and damage sustained from tourist fire pits in the nearby vicinity.

2)1756 bannana trees sustained similar damages to the coconut trees as described above.

Since these trees form the basis of our coconut/bannana currency system on OTI, it is imperative that the trees be restored to good health immediately.I have hired a world class Horticulturist, Dr. Osgood T Parenchyma to come to OTI and assemble a work crew to begin repairs immediately.

In addition to the trees damaged, we have lost many yards of our pristine pink sand due to tourists walking on the beaches and trails.Luckily, there are abundant sources of sand because on OTI, the currents of the Ocean are ALWAYS favorable and bring many tons of sand into our beaches.I merely have to assemble work crews to load and spread the sand on the areas in need.

While the active tourist season has long ended with the Mainland Winter, we still are receiving a goodly amount of visitors as demonstrated by over 9100 in the registry.I think, Dear Treasury director, we will reach our 10,000 visitor BEFORE the start of the official Tourist Season this October 15th.We must come up with a significant prize for that visitor, maybe 10,000 coconuts and bannanas PLUS and Amana Range, an Uprright Lewitt Vacuum Cleaner and 150 square feet of carpeting.Just sayin'.......

My horrible cold was cured by many coconut oil massages in the hot sun by Amber and June, Queen Star's lovely cohorts!

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:This Tuesday is Cinco De Mayo on OTI when we celebrate the victories of OTI over the breakaway republics of OOOTI OOOOOTI and OOOOOOOTI.

Several banana and coconut trees were damaged during the war. A memorial statue has been erected in sector 3 in memory of the trees lost. Drinks on the island are 80% off during this day of reflection and celebration. Enjoy.

CP CantMeasure Snow
GHEMR

I will take full advantage of the 80% off drink day on Cinco De Mayo....HIC!

A round of Margaritas for everybody!!!!!!!!!

Even the crickets have left the island

Ah, my good man,OTI's loyal and faithful Docstox is ALWAYS just a click away.

Nice steady stream of off season visitors if you have checked the visitor registry lately.There are off season rates on straw hut villas, 50% markdowns at the OTI Memorabilia Stores and a few currency speculators turning in their dollars for our much more stable bannana/coconut currency which is even better than gold because you can't eat gold.Dumbasses at the USA Fed could learn a lesson or two at currency valuation from us here at OTI.

Repairs being made in earnest with our skeleton crew of workers because now opening season for Tourism,Oct. 15th, is now ONLY five months away.

9,389 views and counting. I'm sticking with my Thanksgiving Weekend prediction for viewer 10,000.

Hammocks arrived today, to bad there's no one here to use them. I paid for them with the damaged bananas and coconuts from the Independence Day celebration, the dopes didn't even know the difference. Suckers, serves them right for giving us delivery 10 months after our order. And all this time I was blaming you Doc, my apologies.

CP Cant Measure Snow
GHEMR

Excellent work on those hammocks,CP, as Treasury Director, you always have the best for OTI in mind and thusly, our amazing surplus in the budget, the envy of most World Central Banks, all of which are in severe deficits on a sea of paper currency.

Actually, we need some of those hammocks for the skeleton work crews I have operating repairing infrastructure( bannana and coconut ready projects) throughout the Island.As you well know, Tourist Season will begin in earnest October 15th,only five months away, when OTI's Long Range Forecast Team will be predicting the Mainland Winter snow and cold probabilities and sending to Parliament and then, via Queen Star ,to you, the Treasury Director's desk for our Tourist Season Budget.Hopefully in these five months ,Parliament and the rest of us can come up with new ideas to boost the already burgeoning Tourist Visa collections, thereby FURTHER increasing our budget surplus.

Perhaps we might consider buying some of the local Islands and creating a new Franchise of OTI's that wealthy Mainlanders could own and operate , thereby cutiing us in for 50% of their revenues.Just a thought for these doldrums of summer about to arrive.

Now, back to the various sectors of OTI to monitor the progress of our Infrastructure repairs.Be back in 2 to 3 weeks to give you, the Queen and Parliament a report.

Docstox
Director of Parliament
May 19 Anno Domani 2015