OT: "Off-Topic Island"

9,389 views and counting. I'm sticking with my Thanksgiving Weekend prediction for viewer 10,000.

Hammocks arrived today, to bad there's no one here to use them. I paid for them with the damaged bananas and coconuts from the Independence Day celebration, the dopes didn't even know the difference. Suckers, serves them right for giving us delivery 10 months after our order. And all this time I was blaming you Doc, my apologies.

CP Cant Measure Snow
GHEMR

Excellent work on those hammocks,CP, as Treasury Director, you always have the best for OTI in mind and thusly, our amazing surplus in the budget, the envy of most World Central Banks, all of which are in severe deficits on a sea of paper currency.

Actually, we need some of those hammocks for the skeleton work crews I have operating repairing infrastructure( bannana and coconut ready projects) throughout the Island.As you well know, Tourist Season will begin in earnest October 15th,only five months away, when OTI's Long Range Forecast Team will be predicting the Mainland Winter snow and cold probabilities and sending to Parliament and then, via Queen Star ,to you, the Treasury Director's desk for our Tourist Season Budget.Hopefully in these five months ,Parliament and the rest of us can come up with new ideas to boost the already burgeoning Tourist Visa collections, thereby FURTHER increasing our budget surplus.

Perhaps we might consider buying some of the local Islands and creating a new Franchise of OTI's that wealthy Mainlanders could own and operate , thereby cutiing us in for 50% of their revenues.Just a thought for these doldrums of summer about to arrive.

Now, back to the various sectors of OTI to monitor the progress of our Infrastructure repairs.Be back in 2 to 3 weeks to give you, the Queen and Parliament a report.

Docstox
Director of Parliament
May 19 Anno Domani 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvUQcnfwUUM

Ah, Memorial Day, the unofficial launch of the Summer season on the Mainland.Brings back memories of the summer of 1970,sitting in the back seat of a 1962 Ford Fairlane convertible,top down on a warm night, "making out" or as they said in the 1950's,"necking" with a little honey!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6_mIGaH-pw

In the never ending quest to raise more money for the OTI Treasury and raise our budget surplus to world envy status, I invited to the Island representatives of World Soccer to try and convince them to substitute our abundant supply of coconuts for traditional soccer balls.Our coconuts would be much more durable and at the end of the match, the team can split it open and enjoy eating it.The costs would be half as much as traditional soccer balls.

Here is a soccer official trying out a coconut on the OTI Beach.

Tourists Beware!!!! Please read all signs lest the fate befalls you as this poor tourist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgAYscypyzE

Present.

Doc seems to be losing it. Once the island clears out those that remain often times succumb to DOTIS deserted OTI syndrome. Doc seems to catch it every year around June 1. No worries though he'll be fine by October 15th.

So far I seem to have a built in immunity to the syndrome. Good thing too because I have a meeting this afternoon with Abraham Lincoln to discuss how to avoid further civil wars on the island. I find Abe, as his friends refer to him to be a very engaging fellow. Perhaps if Doc snaps out of it I will introduce them.

CP can't measure Snow.
OTI budget director.

CP, that is why I remain quarantined on OTI,LOL!

The tourists who do visit us in these doldrum months before winter all want to kill some time before we get into October.I have magnanimously answered the call to entertain them and lift their spirits.

4 1/2 months to go until October 15th!!!!!

I may have to move up my 10,000 view day celebration prediction. At the current rate we may get there by July 4.

Doc call an emergency meeting of Parliament, preparations are way behind. Thank God the hammocks got here last week at least we now have lodging for the throngs that will be visiting. I will consult with honest Abe this morning and seek his wise counsel.

Abe? What happened to Queen Star?

Yes, tourists just keep paying their Visa fees and increasing the Treasury.We will have a midnight session of Parliament to fast track the 10,000 visitor celebration.That 10,000 visitor will get a lifetime free visa to OTI.

docstox12 wrote:Abe? What happened to Queen Star?

Yes, tourists just keep paying their Visa fees and increasing the Treasury.We will have a midnight session of Parliament to fast track the 10,000 visitor celebration.That 10,000 visitor will get a lifetime free visa to OTI.

OTI scientists are hard at work to find a snow bikini for Queen Star that does not melt above 70 degrees. Since our summer season began she has only been seen on the clothing optional beaches on Sector 3.

To find sector 3 just look to the tops of the coconut trees and look for the few tourists who seems to have camped out there for the summer, binoculars in one hand and well lets just say some have other things in their other hand.

OTI police have been alerted and a raid of our tree tops will begin this afternoon. Other than the clothing optional beaches we are a family friendly island, let's try to keep it that way.

The Queen should just paint a bikini on with white latex paint.I will volunteer for the job!

Yes, OTI is a family friendly place and no debauchery of any kind will be tolerated here.At least where we can see it,LOL!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-36pKj7Oys

A few Attorney Generals from Mainland States have sent me a writ of tertiary and have asked me to draw up my briefs in front of a jury as a result of the mayhem returning Mainlanders from our Independence Day Celebration have caused due to their overconsumption of coconut punch and banana daiquiris.Since the 10,000 visitor celebration is coming up much more rapidly than anticipated, Parliament requsted an emergency session to ameliorate the overdrinking of the Mainlanders so we don't wind up with legal difficulties.

The above film clip were of Mainland Visitors who were a little too cockeyed.

9930 views.

We are doomed as far as the 10,000 viewer celebration goes. It will be the 10,000 viewer anarchy celebration. I may abandon the island before the hordes descend. Snow loving males over 50 first.

Math23x7 wrote:CP if you can join us at the forum meetup in Point Pleasant next Sunday we can celebrate it then

Unfortunately won't be happening Math.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:9930 views.

We are doomed as far as the 10,000 viewer celebration goes. It will be the 10,000 viewer anarchy celebration. I may abandon the island before the hordes descend. Snow loving males over 50 first.

Going to have to post agents of the OTICIA to observe the immigration areas to see if the same tourist is coming and going constantly.It can't be my superior entertaining and comedy skills that are possibly drawing so many visitors to OTI in the offseason Mainland times....or is it,LOL!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LpMB1OZ53g

Tonight there will be a massive fireworks display on the Island in celebration of our 10,000th visitor.Free "I was on OTI' t-shirts, bannana daiquiris and coconut punch will be given to everybody.

Let me take this moment to humbly thank all of you Mainlanders for your financial support in paying your tourist visa fees when you visit OTI.The monies are well used in rebuilding Island Infrastructure and providing a much above average standard of living for our inhabitants, myself included.

We(I) at OTI take our responsibility, our PRIMARY responsibility which is to lift the spirits of winter and snow addicted Mainlanders in these summer doldrum seasons and to provide a sanctuary of peace and tranquillity once the madness of Mainland winter weather modeling and snowstorm tracking begins in earnest November 1st.

As we reach in a few days the longest day of the year, I point out that each ensuing day will be shorter in length and that much closer to the exciting days of winter weather.

As visitor 10,003, a founding father, the Director of the Treasury, and the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler of OTI I apologize in advance for our lack of preparedness regarding the 10,000 viewer celebration.

My original prediction of Thanksgiving Day turned out to be slightly off, but for a government agency about as good as can be expected.

OTICIA are investigating the rapid ascent to 10,000 after a post by Math about a month ago in which he stated "just go on and keep clicking the views and you'll get to 10,000 before you know it". Doc please place Math under citizens arrest today at the get together and bring him to Snow Man for interrogation. The celebration will be delayed for a few days until we get to the bottom of this. Unfortunately I believe we have a Kennedy in Chicago voter type fraud going on here.

I will be in counsel with the Queen on the sector 3 beaches until Monday.

Very interesting statement by Math and it certainly deflates my ego somewhat as I thought all of these visitors were coming to OTI to enjoy my magnificent comedy and entertainment.One person doing all those clicks? Oh, the horror.....the horror.

While you are enjoying your beach romp with the Queen on sector 3, take time to pause and remember that each visitor click to OTI adds more revenue to the OTI Treasury and I don't care if it's one well heeled visitor or many of modest means.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:As visitor 10,003, a founding father, the Director of the Treasury, and the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler of OTI I apologize in advance for our lack of preparedness regarding the 10,000 viewer celebration.

My original prediction of Thanksgiving Day turned out to be slightly off, but for a government agency about as good as can be expected.

OTICIA are investigating the rapid ascent to 10,000 after a post by Math about a month ago in which he stated "just go on and keep clicking the views and you'll get to 10,000 before you know it". Doc please place Math under citizens arrest today at the get together and bring him to Snow Man for interrogation. The celebration will be delayed for a few days until we get to the bottom of this. Unfortunately I believe we have a Kennedy in Chicago voter type fraud going on here.

I will be in counsel with the Queen on the sector 3 beaches until Monday.

CP, at the gtg Math refused to be taken under a citizen's arrest or testify anything to me on the grounds it might incinerate him.He did mention, however, that he would give full testimony to the matter you have brought up only to YOU personally so you must attend the next get together to get together the facts on Math.

I'm afraid this is beyond my control and completely out of my hands. This case is already several days under investigation by the OTICIA. I'd like to help Math but he is obviously guilty and in need of greater legal minds than mine. I suggest he head for the northern NY border. People seem to be able to vanish into thin air there without a trace.

Math23x7 wrote:CP, I am not sure what my citizenship status is here in OTI, but the "Views" count on a thread goes up by one whenever someone clicks the thread title.  And whenever someone makes a new post, it shows up in red an the left hand side indicating a "New Post" so others will also click on it.  So that drives up the OTI visitors.  If you want a milestone to happen days, weeks, or months into the future, you need an admin or moderator to lock the thread to cut down on the views.  In fact, Janet acknowledged this at the meetup on the Jersey Shore yesterday.

What I also mentioned at the recent meetup is that if at any point next winter we are within striking distance of the seasonal snowfall record of 75.6" from 1995-96 and there is a snowstorm forecasted to put NYC over the top, Frank, who is our general, should have a short notice get together in Central Park near the zoo, where we as his army can enjoy ourselves in the snow.  And when Upton releases the snow total confirming that it exceeded the old record, we will party all night as if one's beloved baseball team (in my case the Mets) wins the World Series.  AND, AAAND AAAAAAND, if the zookeeper's measurements are on point all winter, you CP will consider granting him citizenship here on OTI.  

Of course, none of this can happen CP if you do not attend the event.  Of all those members on this site I have yet to meet, you are the one I want to see the most.  If fact, the only ones that have been to all three get togethers are me, Frank, and Janet, and to think I am the only one of those three who is neither an admin or moderator.

Mikey,Mikey,Mikey!!!!

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:I'm afraid this is beyond my control and completely out of my hands. This case is already several days under investigation by the OTICIA. I'd like to help Math but he is obviously guilty and in need of greater legal minds than mine. I suggest he head for the northern NY border. People seem to be able to vanish into thin air there without a trace.

I should have driven my soon to be ex-wife up there in 1989.Wish I knew back then.

Or that joker that was loose for months in the PA area near snow.Seems those areas are black holes for dirtbags to disappear.

The Island is completely deserted.I faithfully remain.Luckily, from the massive influx of tourists, bogus or not, we charge the mainland fees and our treasury is in a massive surplus.I am going to disappear in the beautiful hidden coves of OTI and MAY re-appear come November 1st when hopefully tourist visits begin again.Until then,have a wonderful summer and early fall!

The viewing scandal perpetrated by ex-citizen in waiting math has left a scar on the island paradise that can only be healed with a moonlight swim with the Queen.

We open for business again on October 15th my good friend the Doc seems to still have his head in Mahwah with his reference to a November 1 opening.

Search parties have been setup to begin the difficult and arduous task of finding either dead or alive Mugs, Snow Man and Taffy. Should anyone find Math 23x7 roaming our island paradise please shoot first and ask questions later. Until further notice he is OTI public enemy number one.

Signing off until further notice This is CP Can't Measure Snow
Grand high exalted mystique ruler
Director of the Treasury

Yes, Loyal and Faithful Grand high exalted mystic ruler and Director of the Treasury, your suggestions will be implemented and official opening of the Island shall be Oct.15, 2015, a mere three months from now, when our sister area on the Mainland, the beautiful Hudson Valley, can begin to look for the first flakes of snow in the upcoming winter season.

Our Island has been tainted by the viewing scandal, albeit a lot richer, because the Mainland government issues a payment for every visitor logged, bogus or not.As Treasury Director, you can revel in our abundant budgetary surplus, and while frollicking with the Queen, come up with plans to improve our Islands infrastructure.

As a result of the viewing scandal, I suggest we shut the Island down completely until Oct 15 2015 to get us out of the Mainland Public's eye and the shame and humiliation we here have suffered.I'm sure it will all be forgotten with the upcoming winter season and Emperor Frank's 2015 Winter Contest and Long Range Forecasts come to be.

I will endeavor, this upcoming Winter Season, to be on the cutting edge of hilarity and obfuscation to allow weathertracking model weary Mainlanders an oasis of calm and escape from the madness with a stay on OTI.

Perhaps ,if you can spare a moment from the Queen or even involve her in the matter, we must come up with a new heading for our Island and change the "Snow Weenie King/Queen" logo heading this thread.

Rest well, my loyal friend, and our paths will cross again come October 15.

Until then, I remain...

Docstox, Director of Parliament

Documented and Officiated this fifth day of July, Anno Domani 2015