OT: "Off-Topic Island"

Yes, Loyal and Faithful Grand high exalted mystic ruler and Director of the Treasury, your suggestions will be implemented and official opening of the Island shall be Oct.15, 2015, a mere three months from now, when our sister area on the Mainland, the beautiful Hudson Valley, can begin to look for the first flakes of snow in the upcoming winter season.

Our Island has been tainted by the viewing scandal, albeit a lot richer, because the Mainland government issues a payment for every visitor logged, bogus or not.As Treasury Director, you can revel in our abundant budgetary surplus, and while frollicking with the Queen, come up with plans to improve our Islands infrastructure.

As a result of the viewing scandal, I suggest we shut the Island down completely until Oct 15 2015 to get us out of the Mainland Public's eye and the shame and humiliation we here have suffered.I'm sure it will all be forgotten with the upcoming winter season and Emperor Frank's 2015 Winter Contest and Long Range Forecasts come to be.

I will endeavor, this upcoming Winter Season, to be on the cutting edge of hilarity and obfuscation to allow weathertracking model weary Mainlanders an oasis of calm and escape from the madness with a stay on OTI.

Perhaps ,if you can spare a moment from the Queen or even involve her in the matter, we must come up with a new heading for our Island and change the "Snow Weenie King/Queen" logo heading this thread.

Rest well, my loyal friend, and our paths will cross again come October 15.

Until then, I remain...

Docstox, Director of Parliament

Documented and Officiated this fifth day of July, Anno Domani 2015

Taffy, my operatives on the Mainland immediately informed me of your visit to OTI, and I must say, it is with great joy and gladness to see you made a visit to our unique Island.I will get my agents in business to find the dastardly cad who had the audacity to steal your hammock while watching your "coconuts".As far as the painted on bikini, I will leave that to CP and the Queen to handle.

The Island is in shutdown mode as a result of the tourist visa scandal which Emperor Frank views as a gross violation of the OTI Charter set by Emperor Frank whereby the Mainland subsidizes OTI for each Tourist Visa registered in our immigration offices.The Emperor considers the Tourist Visa Scandal of 2015 a major infringement of the monetary trust the Mainland has given OTI.I, as Director of Parliament,must report this whole fiasco to the Emperor and I dare say, I may pay with my life via execution or a lengthy prison term.I will throw myself at the mercy of the Emperor and hope to return to OTI October 15th , as CP, our beloved Treasury Director, states is the very beginnings of the Winter Season.

Hoping to be back on the Island then and looking forward to seeing your posts Dearest Taffy.

Docstox, Director of Parliament,

August 8 Anno Domani 2015

Taffy, if I am not hung by the Emperor, my first order of business of OTI Parliament will be to draw up a proclamation making you the Dutchess of OTI.

As such, you won't have to worry about rules and regulations and will have free reign over the Island.

We have Mugsy's statue in storage(it was ordered there by CP as a result of Mugsy's failure to come across with snow) but I am sure in the spirit of Island harmony, this matter can be resolved by perhaps giving (Former) King Mugsy another shot at amazing dendrite production, of which he WAS king at one time.

Relax, enjoy the rest of the remaining summer and I'll be back in early October (I hope) to begin organizing the madness which will undoubtedly engulf OTI once the winter storm tracking begins!

Frank's preview video of the upcoming winter forecast has jolted me out of my Summer torpor here on my Mainland hideout and made me realize that my departure date for OTI,Oct. 1, Anno Domani 2015, is rapidly approaching.

As such, I am taking inventory of supplies and equipment needed for the Oct1 to April 1 stint I will serve on OTI facilitating rest and relaxation for overly stressed Mainland Winter Storm Trackers thereby earning the appreciation of their family members for maintaing a modicum of sanity and reason in their households.

I have researched some forms of shipping and find that a tramp steamer leaving Bayonne NJ Sept. 25th should sail within one nautical mile of OTI and the crew will be able to lower me down on a crude raft with supplies and equipment for me to paddle to OTI.

For added savings, I am sleeping in the engineroom of the tramp steamer with a hammock slung over the driveshaft, providing that "rock you to sleep" motion.A bit of a smell of diesel oil, but oh so economical.

Once I arrive, I will arrange send for our usual staff to maintain the immigration/tourist visa section and hope to contact CP,Queen Snow, Snowman, Mugsy and Taffy.

Regarding the second most important person on OTI, CP, he reminds me of the old Superman Comic Books.In those issues of the late 1950's, there was an alternate world called the "Bizarro World" where everything abnormal in our world was normal there.CP fits in with this because on this website, he hibernates in the summer and emerges in the Fall-Winter while most Mammals do the opposite.

Over and out, Docstox....

My Good Man, this is the best news of the day for me, seeing you back on board here at OTI.Thought I'd bump it up to Oct 1 as it has been a real drag, even the summer was boring weather-wise.We can get flurries up here in early October as I had gotten them many times in Mahwah during the 35 years I lived there around Oct. 15th.

Don't worry, CP, you will be in the playoffs.I'm waiting for another epic fade by the Mets like in '07 and '08.Anyway, it will be a lot of fun for NY Fans this weekend, a real Subway Series .

Getting into the upper 40's at night now, shorter days, leaves changing.Next week looks really cool, highs only in low 70's.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3n7ydQt140

I have begun to organize my move from the Mainland to OTI for the coming winter and have had a terrible mishap occur .The moving company was loading my mainframe with all the OTI Immigration data from last year.So glad I backed up all this data with 10 five foot filing cabinets with traditional files and paper! It took me over an hour talking to the mover to avoid a lawsuit.I gave him free tourist visas for him and his family.

Still planning on an Oct 1 2015 arrival to begin operations again.

What great news now that the Island is re-opened with Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler CP's wise move to delete any and all discussions that would divide and irrigate us.The opening of the island always coincides with the very beginnings of Mainland winter weather discussions.

So good to see Lord Snow Man back on his feet as well as his loyal and devoted Dutchess of Snow Man.Sorry to hear about the difficult surgical procedures but the curative rays of the OTI sunshine will hasten your recoveries.I was just thinking about you SNOW as I was on Coolbagh Road this weekend on my annual Fall fishing trip.

Our incredible staff of Meteorological Experts of the Mainland contend with that monster El Nino and I would not think that Scranton Met should be believed right now.40's to 50's for most of the winter????? That's an infamita!!! If he was on OTI, a coconut would land on his head to correct his misguided winter thinking.

Well CP, our section of the Mainland is about to enter first snow flurry/shower territory! Any thoughts from the OTIOBOM ( OTI Official Board of Meteorology) assessment of the coming winter? I know it's still early, but apparently if the ElNino weakens a bit and stretches more west, it will be a good thing.King Mugsy's official Chia Pet is progressing well, a metaphor for the Siberian and Canadian snow growth which looks good right now.Ridge and trough development seems to be good over Alaska and Western USA.Perhaps the coming winter will be a good one.Now, can you please explain to me what the hell I'm talking about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0ed_z2vmjY

With the official opening of OTI on October 1st, we celebrate that event with a raucous Halloween Party at a Nightclub in OTI that I own.Here is a clip of OTI Tourists and my personally selected Staff having a blast in a prior OTI Celebration.

Let the good times roll!!!!!

With the end of the "Winter 2015-2016" contest coming this friday, we at the OTI Bureau of Standards in conjunction with OTI Publishing have decided to join forces in printing a handy guide for Mainland snowlovers in listing hated words and phrases said snowlovers may hear this coming winter season.

1-Dry slot

2-Substinance

3-Mixing with and changing to rain

4-Mixing with and changing to sleet

5-Mixing with and changing to freezing rain

6-Virga

7-Dusting to an inch

8-Cold air suppression

9-Out to sea

10-Southern slider

11-Boston

12-May change to a brief period of snow (after 3.3 inches of rain fell for 30 hours)

I encourage any visitors ro OTI who may have contributions I might not have listed to wholeheartedly add them.

Snowily yours,

Docstox

Dunnzoo wrote:13.  South and east!  (I know you have southern slider, but couldn't resist!)

Saying S and E to me is like saying "Niagara Falls" in an old Abbott and Costello TV Show!!!

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Excellent list Director of Parliament.

May I add a few including from last year, the phrase I coined with your assistance during the dreaded snow storm on radar that wasn't.

13. Anti Virga - Moderate to heavy snow for several hours on radar, not a flake in the sky.

14. Highest amounts on the Jersey Shore (no offense to our residents there, Skins, Ryan when he's home from college, etc;)

15. Highest amounts on Eastern LI (no offense, Sroc, Alex, or oldtimer)

16. The CP Zookeeper (he's still lurking out there, waiting to undercount anytime we're not watching)

17. Winter storm warning has been canceled

18. Winter storm warning has been changed to a winter weather advisory.

19. Freezing rain advisory.

21. GLC - Great Lakes Cutter

22. Heat Island

23. Mid level warming

24. Positive NAO

25. MJO - I still don't get it, and never will

26. Questions about high winds - Yes Jman I mean you, but I love ya.

27. Southern Special

28. New England Special

29. The Weather Channel.

30. Trending south and east

31. We're in the bulls eye of the NAM

32. This storm could be historic - (always the KOD)

33. Strong El Nino

34. Initialization error - (after a great snow map)

35. Appalachian runner

36. Southeast Ridge

Mugs - for Gods sake please change this topic heading to " OTI - Off Topic Island ", the snow weenie king queen thing is so two years ago. We have asked nicely several times, if we have to ask again there will be Civil War.

CP Cant Measure Snow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of the Treasury

Tears in my eyes laughing at this pure genius hilarity!!!

Frank_Wx wrote:CP, per your request I changed the title. May I also add that your list in combination with Doc's is GOLD!!!

Frank, you have done a magnificent thing for OTI this day and it will go into the history books as the Island has been formally sanctioned by you, the Emperor!!

We are making preparations at great haste to accomodate Mainlanders who will very shortly be overwhelmed with storm track-itis, a malady distinguished by anxiety attacks, disappointment, exhilaration and extreme lack of sleep.

Here at OTI, our motto is...."send us your tired, your sleep deprived....."

Math23x7 wrote:Another term I've learned last winter: inverted trough, after what happened with Juno. 

Disclaimer: I come in peace.  I intend to being no harm to to citizens of OTI.  I don't make the laws of "visitor" physics. I only report it.

Hmmmmmm.Where have I heard that expression "I come in peace...don't shoot me I'm only the messenger!"

Good one,Mike.

I have two more:

Sharp cutoff.

Warm nose.