Re: OT: "Off-Topic Island"

by Guest Wed Nov 02, 2016 12:09 pm

Attention OTI citizens. Rumors abound that CP has been "awol" not because of the dry warm late summer and autumn. No not at all. In fact he has been rumored to be on a Russian built rocket co-built with the United States (gotta love that Putin/Trump alliance Wink

)on a covert mission to weaken and displace the Stratospheric or tropospheric something or other polar vortex in the hopes of returning snow and cold to the areas N and W of NYC. He was last heard mumbling something about South and East as he was loaded onto the rocket by our very own Docstox in what was apparently a straight jacket.

by **Frank_Wx** Wed Nov 02, 2016 1:03 pm

by **docstox12** Thu Nov 03, 2016 6:30 am

syosnow94 wrote:Attention OTI citizens. Rumors abound that CP has been "awol" not because of the dry warm late summer and autumn. No not at all. In fact he has been rumored to be on a Russian built rocket co-built with the United States (gotta love that Putin/Trump alliance )on a covert mission to weaken and displace the Stratospheric or tropospheric something or other polar vortex in the hopes of returning snow and cold to the areas N and W of NYC. He was last heard mumbling something about South and East as he was loaded onto the rocket by our very own Docstox in what was apparently a straight jacket.

Jimmy, I live for moments like this when I see a new post on OTI and it is something like this hilarious one you posted.

The OTI Central Bureau of Scientific Research, a branch of the OTI Meteorologic Institute precludes me from divulging any information on this top secret research project that may or may not exist.However, I will agree that if the Mainland Area has another November and December as warm as last years, being 4 or 5 degrees above normal each month, I do believe our beloved Treasury Director, CP, will indeed be restrained in the aformentioned striaght jacket in a padded cell.

by **Math23x7** Sun Nov 27, 2016 3:59 pm

I would like to request a new bill to the OTI Parliament: For the date of Christmas to be moved into January. Heck some parts of the world, especially Russia, celebrate on January 7th. This way, we will be more likely to experience the type of weather we hear through songs on the radio such as "Jingle Bells", "Sleigh Ride", and "Let it Snow." Over the last few years, frigid/snowy weather has been virtually nonexistent on the mainland in December. However, the first part on January has featured those Acrtic airmasses settling in (Keep in mind that the first sub-freezing day at CPK last season was on January 4th(!)). If the Contanzas from Seinfeld can get "Fesitvus" (for the rest of us) into gear, why can't we have an "OTI Christmas" (for all of us) in early January. Unfortunately, it cannot happen this year as our emperor Frank has already changed the banner to the snowy theme. Maybe that why it's not snowing on the mainland Razz

Anyway, here's to hoping that this appears on the Daily Coconut.

by **docstox12** Mon Nov 28, 2016 6:12 am

Mike, I have spoken with the Editor of the Daily Coconut and he is very much interested in printing this edition with the headline..."OTI Citizen Requests Holiday Date Change". Personally, I agree with your petition 100%, but as a vassal of Emperor Frank's vast Mainland Empire, I am not empowered to legislate such a powerful shift in dates.I suggest that you take this request to the Emperor himself for he has the power to adjudicate such legislation, and believe me, he is NOT a man behind a curtain in these matters.

OTI is proud of you Citizen Mike, for your creativity and sensitivity to our Holiday traditions on the Mainland.If your proposal to the Emperor is passed, a statue will be erected of your likeness in the Main Square of OTI.

by Guest Mon Nov 28, 2016 8:08 am

..........................On a related note dear leader. NASA scientists have recently been picking up weird radar returns over northern Russia and China. It appears our dear CP has been circling the area trying to displace this Polar Vortex and have it set up back over our side of the world. Shocked

by **docstox12** Mon Nov 28, 2016 8:56 am

syosnow94 wrote:..........................On a related note dear leader. NASA scientists have recently been picking up weird radar returns over northern Russia and China. It appears our dear CP has been circling the area trying to displace this Polar Vortex and have it set up back over our side of the world.

AHA, THAT was the reason Treasury Director CP authorized the purchase of a surplus U2 Spy Plane ! I could not figure out what purpose that might have been used for on OTI.H emust have taken flying lessons in his spare time.Perhaps at the OTI Acme Flying Academy???

by **CPcantmeasuresnow** Mon Nov 28, 2016 6:57 pm

docstox12 wrote:
syosnow94 wrote:Attention OTI citizens. Rumors abound that CP has been "awol" not because of the dry warm late summer and autumn. No not at all. In fact he has been rumored to be on a Russian built rocket co-built with the United States (gotta love that Putin/Trump alliance )on a covert mission to weaken and displace the Stratospheric or tropospheric something or other polar vortex in the hopes of returning snow and cold to the areas N and W of NYC. He was last heard mumbling something about South and East as he was loaded onto the rocket by our very own Docstox in what was apparently a straight jacket.

Jimmy, I live for moments like this when I see a new post on OTI and it is something like this hilarious one you posted.

The OTI Central Bureau of Scientific Research, a branch of the OTI Meteorologic Institute precludes me from divulging any information on this top secret research project that may or may not exist.However, I will agree that if the Mainland Area has another November and December as warm as last years, being 4 or 5 degrees above normal each month, I do believe our beloved Treasury Director, CP, will indeed be restrained in the aformentioned striaght jacket in a padded cell.

Doc 4 or 5 degrees I could live with although I wouldn't love it. Last November was the warmest ever and last December was 13.5 degrees above normal and broke the record warmest December by 7 degrees, I still haven't recovered.

Nice post Syos and not far from fact.

by **Frank_Wx** Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:22 pm

Dear fellow citizens.

I am shutting this place down. Say your goodbyes now.

Jk. This is the 2nd best part of the forum.

by **CPcantmeasuresnow** Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:45 pm

Frank_Wx wrote:Dear fellow citizens.

I am shutting this place down. Say your goodbyes now.

Jk. This is the 2nd best part of the forum.

Oh Lord, I almost had the big one. "I'm coming for you Lizbeth".

Unless you're over 50 and watched Sanford and Son, you won't get the reference.

by **Dunnzoo** Mon Nov 28, 2016 9:51 pm

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:
Frank_Wx wrote:Dear fellow citizens.

I am shutting this place down. Say your goodbyes now.

Jk. This is the 2nd best part of the forum.

Oh Lord, I almost had the big one. "I'm coming for you Lizbeth".

Unless you're over 50 and watched Sanford and Son, you won't get the reference.

Haha good one Frank! And CP, totally get it!

by **docstox12** Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:15 am

Yeah, CP and Dunz, that Fred Sanford bit was ALWAYS hilarious.Thank you Frank for your encomium concerning OTI.You can bet your bottom isobar I will be producing hilarity all through the time we are open here, especially those dark dark OTS or cutter days.

by **docstox12** Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:18 am

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:
docstox12 wrote:
syosnow94 wrote:Attention OTI citizens. Rumors abound that CP has been "awol" not because of the dry warm late summer and autumn. No not at all. In fact he has been rumored to be on a Russian built rocket co-built with the United States (gotta love that Putin/Trump alliance )on a covert mission to weaken and displace the Stratospheric or tropospheric something or other polar vortex in the hopes of returning snow and cold to the areas N and W of NYC. He was last heard mumbling something about South and East as he was loaded onto the rocket by our very own Docstox in what was apparently a straight jacket.

Jimmy, I live for moments like this when I see a new post on OTI and it is something like this hilarious one you posted.

The OTI Central Bureau of Scientific Research, a branch of the OTI Meteorologic Institute precludes me from divulging any information on this top secret research project that may or may not exist.However, I will agree that if the Mainland Area has another November and December as warm as last years, being 4 or 5 degrees above normal each month, I do believe our beloved Treasury Director, CP, will indeed be restrained in the aformentioned striaght jacket in a padded cell.

Doc 4 or 5 degrees I could live with although I wouldn't love it. Last November was the warmest ever and last December was 13.5 degrees above normal and broke the record warmest December by 7 degrees, I still haven't recovered.

Nice post Syos and not far from fact.

Yes Cp ,last winter with its terrible tropical December and the major snowstorm you and I missed by 25 friggin miles S and E will go down in the annals of HV winter history as one of the worst.After that winter I am sad to say I would not mind going to Florida Jan, Feb and Mar.Lets hope this last storm of 4 to 4 1/2 inches portends something better for us this winter.

by **amugs** Tue Nov 29, 2016 8:23 am

Sanford and Son - CP and to all others who remember!!

Got to love the wide lapel shirts back then - Doc yuo sported those bad boys back in teh day?? I had a polyester sky blue leisure suit like such except the buttons were polished silver (fake of course).

OT: "Off-Topic Island" - Page 27 Il_fullxfull.148584781

OT: "Off-Topic Island" - Page 27 Il_fullxfull.148584781

by **docstox12** Thu Dec 01, 2016 7:22 am

amugs wrote:Sanford and Son - CP and to all others who remember!!

Got to love the wide lapel shirts back then - Doc yuo sported those bad boys back in teh day?? I had a polyester sky blue leisure suit like such except the buttons were polished silver (fake of course).

Mugsy, you lit a fire under me with this post,LOL!

Yeah, still have some suits in my closet with those fat lapels you can land a Piper Cub on.Yep, had a Leisure Suit as well as
bell bottoms, moustache and long hair back in the 1970's, the best ten years of my life.

Some places I would frequent back then include Lift the Latch and the Cuss From Hoe on Paramus Ave in Paramus.The Cuss on Monday was Greaser Nite with some joker called Super Greaser, complete with slick backed hair in a Ducks Ass with black leather jacket.He's probably in a nursing home now.The Bicycle Club in Fort Lee had the rich Jewish girls,Charley Browns in Tenafly, Mother's out on Route 23 and the Soap Factory on route 46 in Ridgefiled.Funny story about the Soap Factory.I was involved with a girl 1972-1974 and when we went splitsville, I hit that joint first off.Well, all I see is people dancing in these line dances.Some girl walks up to me and says "I'll teach you this dance". I said "No thanks, Sister, I'll just sit at the bar and have a beer." That was my introduction to "Disco" and I immediately became one of the "Disco Sucks" crowd, LOL.Another joint was the
Chesire Cat on Forest Ave in Paramus.We called it the "Last Chance Saloon" because around 1 AM, cougars in their 40's and 50's would start to show up looking to score and shack up with a young guy,LOL.Those Dames are DEFINITELY in nursing homes now!!!

Yep, the 70's....HAPPY DAYS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvUOgIgLqOQ

by **Dunnzoo** Thu Dec 01, 2016 7:47 am

Omg doc, Lift the Latch, Soap Factory and Mother's here too! Also Circus Circus in Bergenfield! Fun times!

by **docstox12** Thu Dec 01, 2016 7:54 am

Yep, Janet, Glory Days!!!!!!!

Weren't they a blast???

by **Math23x7** Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:46 am

Well, it appears that there has been a dramatic shift in the OTI Parliament. The "South and East" party seems to have been taken over by the "North and West" party. After 8 years of "South and East" dominance, there was a push this fall to "Make North and West Great Again!" It has now done it's work and as a result, the mainland is featuring snow in the northern and western suburbs of NYC and mainly rain in CNJ, SNJ, and LI. This is a terrible blow to us "South and East" folks. Yes, I am not eligible for Parliament, but I hope the head of my party brings the snow back here, especially in mid-late December.

I've seen some intense snow during this era of dominance, especially from 3/1/09, 12/19/09, 2/10/10, 2/25/10 (although you north/west folks did well too), 12/26/10, 1/26/11, 11/7/12, 3/8/13, 1/2/14, 1/21/14, 2/3/14, 1/26/15 (yes I got a Godzilla from that storm), 3/5/15, and 1/23/16. Good times that I will always cherish from this era and now it the other side's turn for good times. Just be considerate to us. Laughing

by **docstox12** Fri Dec 09, 2016 7:30 am

Yes, it appears from examining the recent political shift in Parliament that the S and E party has recently lost some of the dominance it once exerted over the N and W party, not to say that the S and E folks considered us N and W folks deplorables, no never that, but the recent snow events have us in the N and W signiifcantly ahead in snow totals with this new event to come possibly giving us 6 inches.Already there are rumblings from the spokesman for the S and E party Syonsnow as a result of this matter.I Docstox, maintain my non-partisan status as Director of Parliament, as any other stance would have me accused of favoritism.What I can do in this matter is provide assistance for S and E folks to have extended stays in our OTI Sanitarium should the deficit of snow between S and E and N and W continue.

by **Math23x7** Tue Dec 13, 2016 5:00 pm

With Christmas fast approaching and with growing indication from emperor Frank that we will warm up in time for the occasion, we may need some extra space in the OTI Sanitarium to comfort those who came here that can't take the heat and lack of snow.

The last two 12/25's have had highs in the 60s. And the year before that, it was 71 degrees on 12/22. Talk about head scratching.

I hope OTI Parliament passes legislation to enable the handling of the potential excess of incoming patients from the mainland.

by **docstox12** Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:16 am

In an emergency midnight session of Parliament as a result of the impending dire Christmas forecast on the Mainland forecasted by long range models, bamboo huts are being hastily constructed alongside the OTI Sanitarium in anticipation of a massive influx of White Christmas lovers from Tri State Mainland areas.This Grinch inspired warm up will effectively reduce chances of a White Chrisitmas in those areas effectively to nil and that fact may be too much for many mainlanders to come to terms with.The nursing staff has been doubled and spiked egg nog will be served on arrival of the patients after which they will be conducted to our massive auditorium where large amounts of fake snow will be dropped slowly on them from the ceiling.If Mother nature does not co-operate on the Mainland, we at OTI will create a White Chritmas atmosphere ourselves.

Could I ask of you Math 23x7 to distribute flyers on the Mainland advertising our services here at OTI.The Director would be forever grateful!!!

by **docstox12** Wed Dec 21, 2016 4:03 pm

The Director of the OTI Sanitarium looks with concern at the slowly evolving long range patterns that negate a massive warm up on the Mainland the next two weeks.Should the warm up not occur, a drastic reduction in reservations to the OTI Sanitarium could very well be expected.A formal complaint was lodged by our Treasury Director, CP, who feels that propaganda on this supposed warm up was spread on the Mainland by Math 23x7 at the behest of myself, the Director of OTI Sanitarium in order to stir up cases of SDS (snow derangement syndrome) and now there is talk of a special Committee of Parliament to investigate possible malfeasance .I have only one thing to say in my defense... "I am NOT a crook!" I am honest as the day is long (even though this is the shortest day of the year!)

We at OTI Sanitarium now wait anxiously for the evolution of the final pattern of the coming month!!!

by **sroc4** Thu Dec 22, 2016 3:39 pm

by CPcantmeasuresnow Today at 3:21 pm

Math23x7 wrote:
CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:
Math23x7 wrote:
CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:So in the past week somebody on this board who shall remain nameless, but whose name rhymes with bike, kept talking torching, t shirts, and get togethers in sandals and shorts for the last 2 weeks in December.

It appears now all of my sleepless nights caused by this naysayers postings may have been for naught.

We shall see.

Hmmm, the only post I made regarding any of that was regarding a meetup at Jenkinson's where it would feel warmer than at the meetup on 6/14/15.

If you click a username (which takes you to "Viewing Profile") then go to "Statistics" then "Find all messages posted by [username]", it will give you the last 450 posts by the user over 18 pages. Besides what I referenced above, what else did I say? And no I did not delete posts as apparently I can only edit posts and not delete them.

Here are the most recent posts by the way (this will include this post )

https://www.njstrongweatherforum.com/spa/Math23x7

Let's not rewrite history Mike. There was also the comment about soaking rain and 60's for Christmas Day as well as some others. You're entitled just glad it's not coming true.

Which was very concerning as we had 60s on Christmas the last two years. Now, upper 40s seems like the more realistic scenario. In that post, all I was giving was fact which was that the 12/16/16 12Z CMC has 60s and rain on 12/25. And it is not what I want. Fortunately, Frank made the banter thread so that we can vent our frustrations which we have done a lot since it was first created on 12/16/14.

Even though I will not get a white Christmas this year, I will take this over last December. As I mentioned in the banter thread last year, what gets me in the Christmas mood is cold/snow between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It snowed twice during that period this year, 12/11, and 12/17, the latter giving me a pleasantly surprising three inches of snow. As a result, I was playing Christmas carols on my computer practically the entire day. And you know what, when I went to Bryant Park earlier today to check out the ice skating rink, it looked very nice. Not as many hats/gloves/scarfs as you may want to see, but not the t-shirts/shorts I saw last year. And just like last year's picture took on 12/24/15, today is my last day at work before the break. So I took another picture. And there were also some snow banks in shadowy parts of the park. How great is that three days before Christmas I see snow on the ground, even if it is in a remote area! And also, it looks to be sunny on Christmas. Recall last year in late December we had the stretch of overcast days which seemingly went on for a while. The year before that, we had five straight overcast/rainy days before the sun finally came out, much to the delight of some of the board members.

You may have heard the saying "Expect nothing, that way you don't get disappointed." Well, I expected nothing this December and I got something: periods of cold/snow! This especially came to being during the 2011-12 winter when I saw fantasy snowstorm after fantasy snowstorm on the models, only to disappear as we got closer. Now, I just assume that if there's one 10 days out, it will either cut or go OTS. But once it gets inside five days, that's when the fun begins!

I'm not sure this should be in banter. This is something OTI law enforcement will have to address.

Inciting the masses with false rumors of impending torches does carry some pretty severe penalties. The Director of the OTI Security forces, a man that goes by the single name "Snowman" will be in charge of your arrest, trial, and when you are convicted your punishment. I said when you are convicted Michael because we already have the evidence in writing, what more do we need.

If I were you, and thank God in this case I am not, and I were facing sentencing from Snowman I would prepare for the following:

Sand in the face, although he will allow you to close your eyes first, if he's in a merciful mood that day.
A whipping with bamboo leaves.
Forced tanning, during the hottest part of the OTI afternoon.
A stoning, using peeled bananas and other soft fruits.
Swimming privileges deprivation - you may be banned from the beaches between noon and 3 pm

and various other means of torture and deprivation that only the sick mind of Snowman could conjure up.

Good luck with the above.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Director of the Treasury OTI
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

Administrators please move the above to the OTI thread.

by **docstox12** Thu Dec 22, 2016 3:57 pm

RE OTI Law Enforcement in the above matter.......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rGkVo4NmFo

by **docstox12** Fri Dec 23, 2016 5:56 am

Mike, I have consulted with my connections in the OTI Law Firm of Dewey,Cheatam and Howe and they suggested to me off the cuff, that a possible method of defense should prosecution by OTI Law Enforcement in the above matter described by our esteemed Treasury Director and Grand High Exalted Ruler CP begin, is to use the temporary Snow Derangement Syndrome defense.They suggest that long range model analysis, which is fickle and can turn completely around in a few days, can lead to this crippling , temporary melancholia , which causes the victim to see torching when it does not really happen, and thereby falling into spreading "torchy propaganda", as eloquently described by our beloved Mainland member Doc.

by Guest Fri Dec 23, 2016 8:25 am

Hey Mikey don't worry. I've got your back. Lets plan a [url=https://www.google.com/search?q=coup d'etat&start=0&spell=1]coup d'état.[/url] Me and you. Lets meet up on Braddock Ave. round up some boys and have at this OTI parliament. CP has never been the same since he returned from his trip aboard the Russian rocket researching the Polar Vortex anyway. I fear he's a spy and just trying to facilitate the breakup of our political free speech structure.

...........oh and by the way if you are actually going to get stoned with soft fruits and whipped with bamboo leaves can I have in to? It's a weird fetish of mine I've picked up from my time in our Communist School System!! Wink

by **Math23x7** Fri Dec 23, 2016 6:49 pm

syosnow94 wrote:Hey Mikey don't worry. I've got your back. Lets plan a coup d'état. Me and you. Lets meet up on Braddock Ave. round up some boys and have at this OTI parliament. CP has never been the same since he returned from his trip aboard the Russian rocket researching the Polar Vortex anyway. I fear he's a spy and just trying to facilitate the breakup of our political free speech structure.

...........oh and by the way if you are actually going to get stoned with soft fruits and whipped with bamboo leaves can I have in to? It's a weird fetish of mine I've picked up from my time in our Communist School System!!

James, I plan on being at Rollin Greens in Bellerose tonight. Maybe I can meet you then. I'll admit, I was torn by CPs post yesterday when I read it on the way home from work last night, as if I'm being demonized on this forum or something...

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