OT: "Off-Topic Island"

syosnow94 wrote:Just a thought here dear leader.

Maybe we should skip the mangos altogether and go straight to cows.  Yes cows as currency.  Old fashioned barter system.  My intel tells me that hardcore members of the global warming argument have suggested that an increase in the amount of cows in the middle of the United States is partly responsible for an increase in methane gas being released into the atmosphere.  This is an actual argument that has been presented.  The cows eat too much grass which in turn makes them flatulate too frequently.  This problem could be solved if we trade and barter the cows then slaughter them saving our planet from more horrible methane gas intrusion.  As an added benefit it may actually help our dear friend CP finally leave the sanitorium as he realizes that avg. temperatures on the mainland have stabilized.  

syosnow94 wrote:Just a thought here dear leader.

Maybe we should skip the mangos altogether and go straight to cows.  Yes cows as currency.  Old fashioned barter system.  My intel tells me that hardcore members of the global warming argument have suggested that an increase in the amount of cows in the middle of the United States is partly responsible for an increase in methane gas being released into the atmosphere.  This is an actual argument that has been presented.  The cows eat too much grass which in turn makes them flatulate too frequently.  This problem could be solved if we trade and barter the cows then slaughter them saving our planet from more horrible methane gas intrusion.  As an added benefit it may actually help our dear friend CP finally leave the sanitorium as he realizes that avg. temperatures on the mainland have stabilized.  

cpcantmeasuresnow wrote:How can we run an imaginary cyber based island, run by a retired dentist, with an imaginary queen that runs around in a snow bikini, an exiled king that couldn't make it snow, a head of security in exile, a Director of immigration that hasn't set foot on the island in over a year, a grand high exalted mystique ruler with a zookepper obsession and illegals that seem to come and go, gres (thundersnow), billg, math, syos, with no regard to imaginary borders, if we make ridiculous suggestions like a cow based currency? Honestly!!

I am:

CP Cantmeasuresnow
OTI Director of the Treasury (2nd term)
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

docstox12 wrote:Yes, OTI Treasury Director and Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler, OTI definitely is a cyber location of what some would consider madness.However, if you look at Mainland economics, such as printing currency to oblivion to service 20 trillion in debt, then what syo suggests is not far from the Mainland madness! At least syo's suggestion would result in a true "shovel ready" project because we would have to hire many workers to follow those cows around cleaning up after them.We at Parliament have been neglectful, as you point out, in not enforcing visitor visas and citizenship requirements, but if not for Greselig, syo, math, billg, OTI would have NOBODY at all coming here,LOL.Even our exiled King Mugsy, Taffy and Snow refuse to set foot on OTI for reason or reasons unknown.We have kept a very liberal tourist and citizenship application process as a result.Happily, we are over 12,000 total visits since the Island was originated and in that, I take great pleasure.

Grselig wrote:

billg315 wrote:If they dare challenge us on this issue, my rebuttal to their closing statement is prepared:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDmGhethEoQ

YES!!!!!!!!!!!  And Herman Munster is the judge!!!!!!!!!!

docstox12 wrote:

Grselig wrote:CP.  my thoughts and prayers for a speedy recover prior to the potential February blockbusters.  Hope that lawsuit teaches those bastards a lesson.  

I wholeheartedly agree with your kind words ,Grselig, on the hope that our beloved and esteemed Treasury Director and Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler will rapidly recover from the unfortunate circumstances he is in at the Sanitarium as a result of his heartfelt efforts at correcting a major statistical malfeasance perpetrated by the Conservancy.

docstox12 wrote:

billg315 wrote:As the Acting Attorney General for Off-Topic Island (self-appointed to the temporary position for the purposes of this legal action) I, Billg315, come before the Superior Weather Court and hereby give Notice of the following Motion to be heard at a time and place determined by this Honorable Court:

People of Off Topic Island and
CPcantmeasuresnow
v.
NOAA, the National Weather Service,
The Central Park Conservancy, the Wildlife
Conservation Society (in its role as
manager of the Central Park Zoo),
the City of New York, et al . . .

We hereby allege the following charges against the defendants in this case.

There has been a persistent under measurement of official snowfall totals in Central Park dating back many years, perhaps decades.  This has led to tainted official snowfall totals for the City of New York, and due to the long-running persistence it will be impossible to ever "correct" this record.  Therefore adequate corrective measures by these entities are no longer possible and only a damage award can bring justice in this matter.  The evidence shows that in many snowstorms over the years measurements at surrounding reporting stations including JFK, LGA, EWR, have been significantly higher than CPK despite the fact that they virtually surround this reporting station (Appendix One 2016 seasonal totals from last March show: 31.6" for CPK, while LGA is 35.6, JFK 40.9, and EWR 36.2; in the most recent storm they show respectively, 5.1", 7.0, 8.2, 5.8 ).  Additionally, scientific analysis (SEE attached report of Math23X7) shows that in the most recent storm between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. the Conservancy reported .7" of snow fell, despite radar showing heavy banding over the city, and a qpf of .11" fell during that time frame with high ratios.

Therefore, we submit the following findings to the court with a prayer for relief:

Whereas, NOAA and the National Weather Service (hereafter "NWS") have consistently relied upon and reported a persistent and long-running under measurement of snowfall totals in Central Park; and
Whereas, these under measurements have been repeatedly confirmed by lay observers, snowfall experts, comparisons to multiple surrounding reporting stations, and scientific statistical analysis of snowfall rates and qpf versus actual reported snow totals within specified time-frames; and
Whereas, NOAA and the NWS have relied upon and endorsed this egregious undercounting and have in fact failed to correct the problem even after being so notified; and
Whereas the Central Park Conservancy and the Wildlife Conservation Society (in its role as manager of the Central Park Zoo) and the City of New York by granting authority to these organizations, has been directly responsible for these incompetent and damaging under measurements; and
Whereas, this has caused official snowfall records in New York City to be forever tarnished with no hope of correction; and
Whereas, this outcome has caused stress, agitation, loss of appetite, loss of sleep, and other forms of pain and suffering mentioned and unmentioned, to CPcantmeasuresnow, the People of OTI writ large, and even many inhabitants of the mainland,
We hereby move for a judgement of guilt against these organizations and an award for damages totaling $1 billion American dollars/or 26 billion mangos in OTI currency (or, the equivalent amount of COW currency should the official currency of OTI at any point convert to that fiscal system).  This damage award is payable to the OTI Treasury and should be ordered immediately.

Respectfully submitted,
Billg315
Acting Attorney General
OTI

THIS IS MAGNIFICENT!!!!! GENIUS!!!! AMAZING!!!!!

I, Docstox, Director of Parliament not only grant by Proclamation and official decree, Billg315 permanent citizenship status on OTI, but also promotion IMMEDIATELY, to position of Attorny General, removing the 'acting" status. I have rushed a copy of this brilliant legal brief to the Sanitarium to be taken to CP's therapy room hoping to accelerate his treatment plan and get him back into full duties in processing, as Director of the Treasury, the massive award that the Conservancy soon will be paying to OTI.

billg315 wrote:As the Acting Attorney General for Off-Topic Island (self-appointed to the temporary position for the purposes of this legal action) I, Billg315, come before the Superior Weather Court and hereby give Notice of the following Motion to be heard at a time and place determined by this Honorable Court:

People of Off Topic Island and
CPcantmeasuresnow
v.
NOAA, the National Weather Service,
The Central Park Conservancy, the Wildlife
Conservation Society (in its role as
manager of the Central Park Zoo),
the City of New York, et al . . .

We hereby allege the following charges against the defendants in this case.

There has been a persistent under measurement of official snowfall totals in Central Park dating back many years, perhaps decades.  This has led to tainted official snowfall totals for the City of New York, and due to the long-running persistence it will be impossible to ever "correct" this record.  Therefore adequate corrective measures by these entities are no longer possible and only a damage award can bring justice in this matter.  The evidence shows that in many snowstorms over the years measurements at surrounding reporting stations including JFK, LGA, EWR, have been significantly higher than CPK despite the fact that they virtually surround this reporting station (Appendix One 2016 seasonal totals from last March show: 31.6" for CPK, while LGA is 35.6, JFK 40.9, and EWR 36.2; in the most recent storm they show respectively, 5.1", 7.0, 8.2, 5.8 ).  Additionally, scientific analysis (SEE attached report of Math23X7) shows that in the most recent storm between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. the Conservancy reported .7" of snow fell, despite radar showing heavy banding over the city, and a qpf of .11" fell during that time frame with high ratios.

Therefore, we submit the following findings to the court with a prayer for relief:

Whereas, NOAA and the National Weather Service (hereafter "NWS") have consistently relied upon and reported a persistent and long-running under measurement of snowfall totals in Central Park; and
Whereas, these under measurements have been repeatedly confirmed by lay observers, snowfall experts, comparisons to multiple surrounding reporting stations, and scientific statistical analysis of snowfall rates and qpf versus actual reported snow totals within specified time-frames; and
Whereas, NOAA and the NWS have relied upon and endorsed this egregious undercounting and have in fact failed to correct the problem even after being so notified; and
Whereas the Central Park Conservancy and the Wildlife Conservation Society (in its role as manager of the Central Park Zoo) and the City of New York by granting authority to these organizations, has been directly responsible for these incompetent and damaging under measurements; and
Whereas, this has caused official snowfall records in New York City to be forever tarnished with no hope of correction; and
Whereas, this outcome has caused stress, agitation, loss of appetite, loss of sleep, and other forms of pain and suffering mentioned and unmentioned, to CPcantmeasuresnow, the People of OTI writ large, and even many inhabitants of the mainland,
We hereby move for a judgement of guilt against these organizations and an award for damages totaling $1 billion American dollars/or 26 billion mangos in OTI currency (or, the equivalent amount of COW currency should the official currency of OTI at any point convert to that fiscal system).  This damage award is payable to the OTI Treasury and should be ordered immediately.

Respectfully submitted,
Billg315
Acting Attorney General
OTI

Math23x7 wrote:

billg315 wrote:As the Acting Attorney General for Off-Topic Island (self-appointed to the temporary position for the purposes of this legal action) I, Billg315, come before the Superior Weather Court and hereby give Notice of the following Motion to be heard at a time and place determined by this Honorable Court:

People of Off Topic Island and
CPcantmeasuresnow
v.
NOAA, the National Weather Service,
The Central Park Conservancy, the Wildlife
Conservation Society (in its role as
manager of the Central Park Zoo),
the City of New York, et al . . .

We hereby allege the following charges against the defendants in this case.

There has been a persistent under measurement of official snowfall totals in Central Park dating back many years, perhaps decades.  This has led to tainted official snowfall totals for the City of New York, and due to the long-running persistence it will be impossible to ever "correct" this record.  Therefore adequate corrective measures by these entities are no longer possible and only a damage award can bring justice in this matter.  The evidence shows that in many snowstorms over the years measurements at surrounding reporting stations including JFK, LGA, EWR, have been significantly higher than CPK despite the fact that they virtually surround this reporting station (Appendix One 2016 seasonal totals from last March show: 31.6" for CPK, while LGA is 35.6, JFK 40.9, and EWR 36.2; in the most recent storm they show respectively, 5.1", 7.0, 8.2, 5.8 ).  Additionally, scientific analysis (SEE attached report of Math23X7) shows that in the most recent storm between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. the Conservancy reported .7" of snow fell, despite radar showing heavy banding over the city, and a qpf of .11" fell during that time frame with high ratios.

Therefore, we submit the following findings to the court with a prayer for relief:

Whereas, NOAA and the National Weather Service (hereafter "NWS") have consistently relied upon and reported a persistent and long-running under measurement of snowfall totals in Central Park; and
Whereas, these under measurements have been repeatedly confirmed by lay observers, snowfall experts, comparisons to multiple surrounding reporting stations, and scientific statistical analysis of snowfall rates and qpf versus actual reported snow totals within specified time-frames; and
Whereas, NOAA and the NWS have relied upon and endorsed this egregious undercounting and have in fact failed to correct the problem even after being so notified; and
Whereas the Central Park Conservancy and the Wildlife Conservation Society (in its role as manager of the Central Park Zoo) and the City of New York by granting authority to these organizations, has been directly responsible for these incompetent and damaging under measurements; and
Whereas, this has caused official snowfall records in New York City to be forever tarnished with no hope of correction; and
Whereas, this outcome has caused stress, agitation, loss of appetite, loss of sleep, and other forms of pain and suffering mentioned and unmentioned, to CPcantmeasuresnow, the People of OTI writ large, and even many inhabitants of the mainland,
We hereby move for a judgement of guilt against these organizations and an award for damages totaling $1 billion American dollars/or 26 billion mangos in OTI currency (or, the equivalent amount of COW currency should the official currency of OTI at any point convert to that fiscal system).  This damage award is payable to the OTI Treasury and should be ordered immediately.

Respectfully submitted,
Billg315
Acting Attorney General
OTI

One of the best posts, if not THE BEST post I have ever seen on the NJ Strong Weather Forum!