Re: OT: "Off-Topic Island"

by Guest Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:09 pm

Wow. I've missed a lot. My post was simply a weenie Rant just moments after o read about the impending 12-18" of snow the Red Sox Suck area was forecast to receive and then the disappearance of our large storm threat for Thursday. Yes I've received a good amount of snow. More than most actually. However it melts so rapidly that I can't even enjoy it. This combined with Red Sox Suck and the deteriorating long range forecast has cause me much angst. The drugs I've been experimenting with at the sanitarium haven't helped either. This is my response. I throw myself at the mercy of the court. Do as you see fit

by **billg315** Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:34 pm

Based on that response, I think this court is inclined to make its findings. First, as to the charge of "Soliciting Spring" this Court finds Syos: Guilty. While one can rant about warm weather, lack of snow, and Red Sox Suck getting a blizzard while we suffer, the court simply cannot excuse the second part of the equation - wishing for an early Spring. Now it is important to note, Syos did not EXPLICITLY wish for "warm weather" or "Spring" but a fair reading of his references to Golf, Fishing, and March leave little doubt as to the implied meaning.
As to the second charge, this Court finds Syos: NOT GUILTY, of Official Misconduct. While wishing for Spring is not condoned, there is no evidence it was in any way tied to his duties on OTI or that his crime touched upon his Office as Director of Mental Health. Had he encouraged people at the Sanitarium to wish for an early Spring - that would be a problem.
Now as for sentencing, this court does take into account mitigation factors. This hasn't been a great winter, Red Sox Suck region is getting two blizzards in a week, and the forecast for next weekend does show three days of 50s. However, as stated above, Syos has fared better than many on this forum, so it is still not a total excuse.
This court leaves sentencing to Parliament and Security's discretion, but recommends: A one-week suspension as Director of OTI Mental Health; Probation for Four Weeks (NO hoping for Spring, Golf or Fishing - other than ice fishing or snow golf -- during that period or a more harsh sentence will follow); and a fine of 50 Mangos and 25 Coconuts, payable through probation to Treasury.

by Guest Sun Feb 12, 2017 4:58 pm

Although I disagree on the severity of the punishment I will accept whatever parliament decides. You seem like s fair man Bill

by **rb924119** Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:40 pm

I HAVE to follow this thread more often. These last two pages have me in stitches I'm laughing so god darn hard ahahahaha this is too much lmfaoooooo

by Guest Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:42 pm

A welcoming party and a trial all in one visit. You guys sure know how to make a first impression.

by **jmanley32** Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:51 pm

Umm ya me too, but would it not behoove the rulers here to have a actual social worker (myself) as the one who handles the mental health? It is what I actually do for a living (well currently unemployed but I could do fantasy mental health work for 100 mangos.

by Guest Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:56 pm

As a visitor, I'm sure my voice doesn't carry much weight, but I think you'd do an excellent job. When it comes to mental health, you're definitely qualified to determine which way the wind blows..... and I get the sneaking suspicion that this is a lot funnier in my head than it is in type.

by **billg315** Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:24 pm

The creation of a new OTI Kingdom thread has really caused excitement and celebrations across this island like I've never seen. In fact, I can't remember seeing this much excitement on the island since the night of the Halloween Party at the Coconut Room when Selena Gomez showed up in costume as the Snow Queen in her snow bikini but had one too many Mango Margaritas and forgot she was standing too close to the fire pit and, well you know what happened to the snow bikini. Which somehow led to a fistfight between Justin Bieber and Zayn Malik and an all out bar brawl between their entourages, but I digress. Suffice to say, these are exciting times!

by **CPcantmeasuresnow** Sun Feb 12, 2017 10:46 pm

jmanley32 wrote:Umm ya me too, but would it not behoove the rulers here to have a actual social worker (myself) as the one who handles the mental health? It is what I actually do for a living (well currently unemployed but I could do fantasy mental health work for 100 mangos.

Jman before you can receive any titles you must first ask for and be granted citizenship, memorize the OTI pledge of Allegiance and give up the thing you desire most in this world as a sacrifice to show your love and dedication to OTI above all else.

In your case my wind obsessed friend, you must not mention the word wind, or think about wind, or dream about wind, during any period you either visit or take up residence here. If you think you have the fortitude to maintain this pact I will recommend you for citizenship to the Director of Parliament. That is step number one.

To help your withdrawal from your wind addiction, play the link below at least 500 times until the very thought of wind makes you violently ill. Should you fail the Chief Justice will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good luck, John.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsY8l0Jg3lY

by **jmanley32** Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:07 pm

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:
jmanley32 wrote:Umm ya me too, but would it not behoove the rulers here to have a actual social worker (myself) as the one who handles the mental health? It is what I actually do for a living (well currently unemployed but I could do fantasy mental health work for 100 mangos.

Jman before you can receive any titles you must first ask for and be granted citizenship, memorize the OTI pledge of Allegiance and give up the thing you desire most in this world as a sacrifice to show your love and dedication to OTI above all else.

In your case my wind obsessed friend, you must not mention the word wind, or think about wind, or dream about wind, during any period you either visit or take up residence here. If you think you have the fortitude to maintain this pact I will recommend you for citizenship to the Director of Parliament. That is step number one.

To help you withdraw from your wind addiction, play the link below at least 500 times until the very thought of wind makes you violently ill. Should you fail the Chief Justice will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good luck, John.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsY8l0Jg3lY

My you guys are strict (not gonna happen it's okay and thats not the one thing I want the most, if I gave that up which it will remain unsaid I would choose to keep that and I am sorry to disappoint the OTI, I will be a visitor and am headed home for now. if you ever need be and if any clinical advice is ever required I have my diagnostic manual handy however from looks of OTI none of the things you guys mention will be in there LOL,

by **rb924119** Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:20 pm

Not gonna lie, this thread reminds of something seen in a work of Mel Brooks and/or Monty Python Ahahahaha classic!!

by **CPcantmeasuresnow** Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:20 pm

jmanley32 wrote:
CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:
jmanley32 wrote:Umm ya me too, but would it not behoove the rulers here to have a actual social worker (myself) as the one who handles the mental health? It is what I actually do for a living (well currently unemployed but I could do fantasy mental health work for 100 mangos.

Jman before you can receive any titles you must first ask for and be granted citizenship, memorize the OTI pledge of Allegiance and give up the thing you desire most in this world as a sacrifice to show your love and dedication to OTI above all else.

In your case my wind obsessed friend, you must not mention the word wind, or think about wind, or dream about wind, during any period you either visit or take up residence here. If you think you have the fortitude to maintain this pact I will recommend you for citizenship to the Director of Parliament. That is step number one.

To help you withdraw from your wind addiction, play the link below at least 500 times until the very thought of wind makes you violently ill. Should you fail the Chief Justice will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good luck, John.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsY8l0Jg3lY
My you guys are strict (not gonna happen it's okay and thats not the one thing I want the most, if I gave that up which it will remain unsaid I would choose to keep that and I am sorry to disappoint the OTI, I will be a visitor and am headed home for now. if you ever need be and if any clinical advice is ever required I have my diagnostic manual handy however from looks of OTI none of the things you guys mention will be in there LOL,

It is a decision you may live to regret. However no hard feelings, feel free to visit at anytime and even apply for an extended VISA if you'd like. May the wind be with you.

by **docstox12** Mon Feb 13, 2017 1:57 am

syosnow94 wrote:Although I disagree on the severity of the punishment I will accept whatever parliament decides. You seem like s fair man Bill

As Director of Parliament, I have read Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor Billg's reccomendations Syosnow, and finalize the penalties he brings forth.You will be suspended for one week as Director of Mental Health.Fear not, I Docstox will assume that duty during the time mentioned.There must not be any mention of spring or summer for 4 weeks lest more serious punishment, namely Security Officer SNOW MANS basement interrogation room at the OTI Central Intelligence Bureau, which I sincerely hope will not be necessary, as those unfortunate souls usually wind up as permanent residents of the Sanitarium.That being said, I offer you your position as Director of Mental Health back gladly, as punishments on OTI are always tempered with mercy, and I must say you have done an excellent job in that capacity, probably because you yourself were a patient at the Sanitarium, and know first hand the ravages of Snow Derangement Syndrome and Snow Deprivation Syndrome, two very unfortunate maladies that tend to run rampant on the Mainland.

by **docstox12** Mon Feb 13, 2017 2:04 am

jmanley32 wrote:
CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:
jmanley32 wrote:Umm ya me too, but would it not behoove the rulers here to have a actual social worker (myself) as the one who handles the mental health? It is what I actually do for a living (well currently unemployed but I could do fantasy mental health work for 100 mangos.

Jman before you can receive any titles you must first ask for and be granted citizenship, memorize the OTI pledge of Allegiance and give up the thing you desire most in this world as a sacrifice to show your love and dedication to OTI above all else.

In your case my wind obsessed friend, you must not mention the word wind, or think about wind, or dream about wind, during any period you either visit or take up residence here. If you think you have the fortitude to maintain this pact I will recommend you for citizenship to the Director of Parliament. That is step number one.

To help you withdraw from your wind addiction, play the link below at least 500 times until the very thought of wind makes you violently ill. Should you fail the Chief Justice will disavow any knowledge of your actions. Good luck, John.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsY8l0Jg3lY
My you guys are strict (not gonna happen it's okay and thats not the one thing I want the most, if I gave that up which it will remain unsaid I would choose to keep that and I am sorry to disappoint the OTI, I will be a visitor and am headed home for now. if you ever need be and if any clinical advice is ever required I have my diagnostic manual handy however from looks of OTI none of the things you guys mention will be in there LOL,

Your generous offer Jman, of social welfare work, is very much appreciated.However, the post of Director of Mental Health is currently held by syosnow, albeit under a one week suspension.I understand your reticence to give up your love of the wind for the chance to become an OTI Citizen as per Treasury Director and Grang High Exalted Mystique Ruler CP's requirements.However, I offer you the following position.As Director of OTI Sanitarium,I would appreciate a qualified person on the Mainland who I can conference with as to the state of mental health of Mainlanders during snowless and windless periods of Mianland winters.This would give you a permanent Visa as you would be attending confrences at the Sanitarium as our representative on the Mainland and speedily and efficiently directing Mainlanders seeking therapy.

by **docstox12** Mon Feb 13, 2017 6:19 am

rb924119 wrote:I HAVE to follow this thread more often. These last two pages have me in stitches I'm laughing so god darn hard ahahahaha this is too much lmfaoooooo

My friend, unbeknownst to yourself, you are being treated free of charge to one of our therapy regimens we use at the OTI Sanitarium, abundant laughter, to break the melancholia caused by Snow Deprivation and Derangement Syndrome.Heaven Forbid, I am not suggesting that you have this malady, but I know you are a member of the crack team of long range forecasters on the Mainland, and , as such, very stressful episodes during Mainland winters can and do occur.Feel free to visit our Island, a Tourist Visa is easily obtained at the offices we maintain on the Mainland.Enjoy and Island Drink at the Coconut Room, and busted models will be a distant memory.

by **docstox12** Mon Feb 13, 2017 6:22 am

billg315 wrote:The creation of a new OTI Kingdom thread has really caused excitement and celebrations across this island like I've never seen. In fact, I can't remember seeing this much excitement on the island since the night of the Halloween Party at the Coconut Room when Selena Gomez showed up in costume as the Snow Queen in her snow bikini but had one too many Mango Margaritas and forgot she was standing too close to the fire pit and, well you know what happened to the snow bikini. Which somehow led to a fistfight between Justin Bieber and Zayn Malik and an all out bar brawl between their entourages, but I digress. Suffice to say, these are exciting times!

Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor Bill g, I remember that night well, having fallen off a table in the Coconut Room while tap dancing and somehow waking up the next morning atop a 40 foot coconut tree.

Exciting times.....INDEED

by **docstox12** Mon Feb 13, 2017 6:23 am

TheAresian wrote:A welcoming party and a trial all in one visit. You guys sure know how to make a first impression.

AND Independence Day!! You picked a most momentous time to visit the Island Aresian, and I hope you will enjoy every moment of it.

Viva La OTI!!!!

by Guest Mon Feb 13, 2017 7:25 am

I've enjoyed almost all of it. Though I have to admit that no amount of liquid refreshment has been able to erase the image of that guy dancing.

by **SNOW MAN** Mon Feb 13, 2017 9:25 am

CP, Doc prepare the OTI for an influx of Mainlanders. The Emperor has spoken. He said Winter could be over. That means the sanitarium will be filling up fast. I'm going to sign myself in as soon as I finish writing this. Of all the humanity Winter could be over ! Now commit me. Sad

by **docstox12** Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:49 pm

SNOW MAN wrote:CP, Doc prepare the OTI for an influx of Mainlanders. The Emperor has spoken. He said Winter could be over. That means the sanitarium will be filling up fast. I'm going to sign myself in as soon as I finish writing this. Of all the humanity Winter could be over ! Now commit me.

My good Man and Chief Security Officer, rest assured that you will get the very best accomodations at the Sanitarium.You will have access to my Suite of offices there and I will be certain that the best Doctors will be treating you for Winter Bereavement Syndrome, a common malady when Spring arrives early.

"Every day in every way you will be better!"

by Guest Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:58 pm

I would like to thank all of parliament and citizens of OTI for their mercy in my legal matter. It is with great humility I accept my fate and hope to return soon to help with the influx of mainlanders looking to escape the upcoming blowtorch. During my suspension I ask for 2 things.

First I ask for more tropical fruits and banned pharmecuticals from our director of parliaments' own private stash from his days as a mainland dentist. These will be put to good use as I experiment with different combinations on myself which will hopefully be used to treat our patients in a more "effective" manner.

Second I ask that our leaders enact a law permanently banning Jman from any visits or extended visas as he was trying to steal my post out from under me as I was involved in a hearing for my very OTI life. Very underhanded and deceitful. We need not this type of behavior on our glorious island.

Thank you in advance for your kindness Dear Director of Parliament and our Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Syo

by Guest Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:46 pm

I'm jealous now. When I used to "experiment" on myself with different combinations of drugs, nobody ever saw any potential benefit to mankind. Except for maybe my ex-wife who I suspect secretly hoped it would hasten my demise.

by **CPcantmeasuresnow** Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:55 pm

syosnow94 wrote:I would like to thank all of parliament and citizens of OTI for their mercy in my legal matter. It is with great humility I accept my fate and hope to return soon to help with the influx of mainlanders looking to escape the upcoming blowtorch. During my suspension I ask for 2 things.

First I ask for more tropical fruits and banned pharmecuticals from our director of parliaments' own private stash from his days as a mainland dentist. These will be put to good use as I experiment with different combinations on myself which will hopefully be used to treat our patients in a more "effective" manner.

Second I ask that our leaders enact a law permanently banning Jman from any visits or extended visas as he was trying to steal my post out from under me as I was involved in a hearing for my very OTI life. Very underhanded and deceitful. We need not this type of behavior on our glorious island.

Thank you in advance for your kindness Dear Director of Parliament and our Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Syo

I have dispatched our Chief Security Officer to Yonkers as soon as I saw this post.

It's one thing to turn down a chance at citizenship, something I'm sure he's regretting already, but it's a whole different ballgame to try and steal another mans occupation, especially a citizen and Director, even though said Director is currently under suspension for Springmongering. OTI is like a big family, we may squabble at times, there have been several civil wars throughout our history, but if someone outside the family does us wrong we always have each others backs.

Rest assured my suspended friend, Jman is going to have a little accident courtesy of the SNOWMAN when he steps out on the street tonight to enjoy these wind gusts he is so enamored of. It may be a stray coconut flying through the air on a gust of wind, or a kamikaze mango, banana, palm leaf or grains of sand but vengeance is mine saith the citizens of OTI and vengeance you my friend shall have. When SNOWMAN gets through with someone the fruit stains on their attire does not come out in the wash.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

by Guest Mon Feb 13, 2017 6:13 pm

I'm not sure it's safe for me here on OTI. Ninja fruit attacks, coups and I still can't get the image of that man dancing at my welcoming party out of my head.

by **CPcantmeasuresnow** Mon Feb 13, 2017 6:34 pm

TheAresian wrote:I'm not sure it's safe for me here on OTI. Ninja fruit attacks, coups and I still can't get the image of that man dancing at my welcoming party out of my head.

As the Eagles sang, "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave"

Remember what happens on OTI stays on OTI unless of course we are ever crossed. Things happened in the Coconut room Friday night that you may have no recollection of but SNOWMAN has pictures, keep that in mind.

All subtle threats of blackmail aside, you have OTI written all over you Aresian, I'm hoping you apply for at least an extended VISA if not citizenship. Of course we will then have to discuss your vow of abstinence to OTI and what you need to give up while here on the Island. Jman couldn't give up his love of wind, your vow may be just as difficult.

by Guest Mon Feb 13, 2017 6:42 pm

Wait a minute. You've got nothing on me. She promised me she was 18, I only blacked out for....ummm.... no longer than one day and I'm positive there's a perfectly reasonable explanation why I woke up in a coconut bikini with those little drink umbrellas attached to the coconut shells.

by **docstox12** Mon Feb 13, 2017 6:50 pm

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:
syosnow94 wrote:I would like to thank all of parliament and citizens of OTI for their mercy in my legal matter. It is with great humility I accept my fate and hope to return soon to help with the influx of mainlanders looking to escape the upcoming blowtorch. During my suspension I ask for 2 things.

First I ask for more tropical fruits and banned pharmecuticals from our director of parliaments' own private stash from his days as a mainland dentist. These will be put to good use as I experiment with different combinations on myself which will hopefully be used to treat our patients in a more "effective" manner.

Second I ask that our leaders enact a law permanently banning Jman from any visits or extended visas as he was trying to steal my post out from under me as I was involved in a hearing for my very OTI life. Very underhanded and deceitful. We need not this type of behavior on our glorious island.

Thank you in advance for your kindness Dear Director of Parliament and our Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Syo

I have dispatched our Chief Security Officer to Yonkers as soon as I saw this post.

It's one thing to turn down a chance at citizenship, something I'm sure he's regretting already, but it's a whole different ballgame to try and steal another mans occupation, especially a citizen and Director, even though said Director is currently under suspension for Springmongering. OTI is like a big family, we may squabble at times, there have been several civil wars throughout our history, but if someone outside the family does us wrong we always have each others backs.

Rest assured my suspended friend, Jman is going to have a little accident courtesy of the SNOWMAN when he steps out on the street tonight to enjoy these wind gusts he is so enamored of. It may be a stray coconut flying through the air on a gust of wind, or a kamikaze mango, banana, palm leaf or grains of sand but vengeance is mine saith the citizens of OTI and vengeance you my friend shall have. When SNOWMAN gets through with someone the fruit stains on their attire does not come out in the wash.

CP Cantmeasuresnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

Absolute genius and classic..."springmongering"..ROTFLMAO

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