OT: "Off-Topic Island"

So I get to be responsible around women in their 20s and 30s in a clothing optional morality free zone? Dayumm... talk about finding redemption at the site of your greatest sins.

TheAresian wrote:So I get to be responsible around women in their 20s and 30s in a clothing optional morality free zone? Dayumm... talk about finding redemption at the site of your greatest sins.

Dear Head Bouncer of the Coconut Lounge:

The many benefits of Citizenship and Executive Position of OTI are now readily apparent!

Director of Parliament
Director of the OTI Sanitarium

syosnow94 wrote:Mikey Math. Now that my suspension is over I have the cure to what ails you. Check in. As Director of Mental Health on OTI I PROMISE You won't be disappointed even though you may never check out.

Also dear ruler I say yes to keeping OTI open during the "off season". As always I will do my best to continue contributing to our wonderful island. I've actually convinced several women in their 20's and 30's (plus a couple in their 60's for you and CP ) to consider permanent residence in the Cicunut Room where they will become our bartenders and food servers while wearing traditional OTI garb which as you know is clothing optional.

As we discussed ,Director of Mental Health, as per Mike's course of therapy, he should be locked in the freezer at the OTI Sanitarium for 15 minutes for cold shock therapy for the relapse of his torchmongering.

No no no Doc. Of course he will be locked in the freezer but.........due to his repeated offenses and love of statistics there will be several beautiful naked women in their 20's with various Esther statistics painted over certain body parts in the freezer with Mikey. He will then be served a cocktail which will erase his short term memory. Pure torture for s nznikd Mike Math. It's s shame. All because he would not meet me for a drink at Rollin Greens. Now he will never remember the best night of his life. Poor soul

syosnow94 wrote:B

Four posts in a row on the previous page with the letter b in small letters or caps, all posted by the man I thought was our best choice as Director of Mental Health. I'm starting to question my own judgment. Is this some esoteric message to a radical group on OTI?

Legally these 4 consecutive posts may have violated the no Mega posting rule on OTI clearly stated in our first Independence day announcement found on the Historical documents thread. Where is the Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor when you need him?

Also has anyone seen the Culinary Arts Hospitality Head Person? Ever since he accepted the position he seems to have gone AWOL on the Mainland.

I don't remember one of the greatest nights of my life. However, I'm told that the pictures were enough to send one man to the Sanitarium for brain bleaching.

Also, if the OTI Director of Mental Health would be so kind as to send to the Coconut Lounge a selection of cocktail ingredients that would be greatly appreciated. The customers are happy with beverage selection, but I find myself curious as to the number of libations possible for off duty imbibing.

The 4 b's in a row was because i was posting mobile and I posted the same thing 5 times and it wouldn't let me delete the posts. So I just put down a b.

.....and Aresian just like no good chef gives out his recipes why do you think I would share my ingredients? Let's just say they are "organic" and illegal. Think Grateful Dead.

Math23x7 wrote:It is quite clear that with no snow threats on the horizon over in the mainland, I have been acting in a frustrating way.  I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way to heal through the forum and that is to check myself onto the OTI Sanitarium.

Three concerns with that include:

1) Are OTI government employees allows to enter the Sanitarium as patients?  It would seem very frightening to tourists to see their own leaders be admitted there.

2) What would be the timetable for recovery during my stay at the Sanitarium?  What would be the last resort if the mainland remains devoid of any snow threats in the long range?

3) Does Bananacare cover public servants?

To be honest, the blowtorch is quite depressing.  I hope back on the mainland March is a better story but there is no guarantee that will happen?

Math23x7
OTI Director of Technology

Michael:

The only shame would be to not seek treatment. You have been under a lot of pressure at your Mainland job and now you have the added pressure of a Directorship on the fastest growing Island in the cyber world, who wouldn't be stressed? Throw on top of that the Torch Mongering charges you were exonerated from only a month ago and then you torch monger again two weeks after your aquittal? That's like a man being aquitted of murder shooting the judge on his way out of the courtroom. No doubt my friend you need a stay at the Sanitarium and the sooner the better.

I've attached a video below from the greatest Punk band of all time The Ramones singing their classic, "I wanna be sedated" which also happens to be the Official Song of the OTI Sanitarium. The video and the song will give you some insight into the treatment methods our Director of Mental Health utilizes in his practice.

Good luck Mike, you will be a new man before you know it. And take no shame in cracking, 60's in February could break any of us. I feel I may snap too once my beloved snow cover is gone.

RAMONES: I wanna be sedated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLlLtSG7xe4

CP CantMeasureSnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of the Treasury

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

syosnow94 wrote:B

Four posts in a row on the previous page with the letter b in small letters or caps, all posted by the man I thought was our best choice as Director of Mental Health. I'm starting to question my own judgment. Is this some esoteric message to a radical group on OTI?

Legally these 4 consecutive posts may have violated the no Mega posting rule on OTI clearly stated in our first Independence day announcement found on the Historical documents thread. Where is the Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor when you need him?

Also has anyone seen the Culinary Arts Hospitality Head Person? Ever since he accepted the position he seems to have gone AWOL on the Mainland.

I found that series of transmissions quite confusing myself, however, I accept the Director of Mental Health's explanation of the matter.As far as the Director of Culinary Arts, perhaps he is deep inn the remote sections of OTI seeking various herbs and spices to use in concocting OTI recipes.I'm sure he will post a message shortly as to his progress on these issues.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

Math23x7 wrote:It is quite clear that with no snow threats on the horizon over in the mainland, I have been acting in a frustrating way.  I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way to heal through the forum and that is to check myself onto the OTI Sanitarium.

Three concerns with that include:

1) Are OTI government employees allows to enter the Sanitarium as patients?  It would seem very frightening to tourists to see their own leaders be admitted there.

2) What would be the timetable for recovery during my stay at the Sanitarium?  What would be the last resort if the mainland remains devoid of any snow threats in the long range?

3) Does Bananacare cover public servants?

To be honest, the blowtorch is quite depressing.  I hope back on the mainland March is a better story but there is no guarantee that will happen?

Math23x7
OTI Director of Technology

Michael:

The only shame would be to not seek treatment. You have been under a lot of pressure at your Mainland job and now you have the added pressure of a Directorship on the fastest growing Island in the cyber world, who wouldn't be stressed? Throw on top of that the Torch Mongering charges you were exonerated from only a month ago and then you torch monger again two weeks after your aquittal? That's like a man being aquitted of murder shooting the judge on his way out of the courtroom. No doubt my friend you need a stay at the Sanitarium and the sooner the better.

I've attached a video below from the greatest Punk band of all time The Ramones singing their classic, "I wanna be sedated" which also happens to be the Official Song of the OTI Sanitarium. The video and the song will give you some insight into the treatment methods our Director of Mental Health utilizes in his practice.

Good luck Mike, you will be a new man before you know it. And take no shame in cracking, 60's in February could break any of us. I feel I may snap too once my beloved snow cover is gone.

RAMONES: I wanna be sedated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLlLtSG7xe4

CP CantMeasureSnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of the Treasury

Yes, CP, the Sanitarium uses our Official Song in therapeutic measures treating the Mainland unfortunates in the various maladies presented by Mainland torching episodes.One must never feel ashamed to avail themselves of the wonderful therapy available at the OTI Sanitarium.In fact, I myself, while Director of the Sanitarium have utilized the 12 step programs available here for snowcaholism that I have struggled with for over 66 years now, sadly becoming hopelessly addicted on December 11 1960.I must present myself as a staid and sober representative of this facility, although the burdens, as such, do make me seek temporary release in the Coconut Lounge,where Head Bouncer Aresian guides me in the selection available there, be it drink or companionship.I will no doubt be there very shortly as I see my Mainland snowpack sadly decreasing by the hour here due to the dastardly shift in temperatures that have occured.

It is Feb. 20 and my phone shows high temperatures of 70, 72, and 68 on three consecutive days later this week. I tried to drink this off in the Coconut Room but I have just checked myself into the Sanitarium. All legal matters are temporarily on hold until my treatment is done.
Respectfully,
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

billg315 wrote:It is Feb. 20 and my phone shows high temperatures of 70, 72, and 68 on three consecutive days later this week. I tried to drink this off in the Coconut Room but I have just checked myself into the Sanitarium. All legal matters are temporarily on hold until my treatment is done.
Respectfully,
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

The governments falling apart, there's panic everywhere and rioting in the street, we only have one street so no plural on purpose. Occupy OTI is threatening a rally of 2-3 illegals to protest at Parliament tomorrow. Bananas, coconuts, and mangoes are being hoarded as we speak, anarchy rules as OTI government drools.

TheAresian has lost control of the Coconut Lounge, Gres (Thundersnow) hasn't been on the island for weeks, Snowman is undercover supposedly but no one hears from him, Mugs is still on the Mainland trying to make it snow in 65 degree weather, Taffy AWOL, Mike near the cracking point, The Chief justice is going to the Sanitarium and the Grand High Exalted Mystique ruler may soon be following. This leaves the Director of Mental Health who is probably the most unstable on the Island and Doc our stable Director of Parliament to run things.

I may be breaking away again to form OOTI. The last civil war was bloody here, and I don't want a repeat but desperate times call for desperate measures as they say. Band aid strips doubled in price over night and people stockpiled pebbles, sand, and tree branches in their huts for defense. I sense the same fear again. The future of OTI in this mans opinion is on the brink.

Desperate men seek desparate measures! Parliament may have no choice but to declare Martial Law with a curfew should the rioting and insurrection talk continue.My Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor is institutionalized, my Director of the Treasury and Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler is out of his coconut due to Mainland Torching, my Director of Technology is in the basement of the OTI Sanitarium in cold shock treatment, My Head Bouncer of the Cocnut Lounge is off on a bender with a few of the female staff,Gres is AWOL and SNOW MAN, Taffy and Mugs have faded into the sunset.Talk of Civil War once again, as in our early days with OOTI, OOOTI, and OOOOOTI,is being heard.

I,Docstox, Director of Parliament and Director of the OTI Sanitarium will single handedly hold this Island together through the sheer force of my will, as I have done in past dark times.I have my Director of Mental Health still in a semi-rational state, and I am sure I can depend on our Emperor for assurances that he and the Mainland will support all efforts to keep OTI intact no matter what happens.Sadly, we may be forced to indeed put into effect an 'OTI Reset" come April 1, or in this particular emergency, sooner in order to get this situation under control, and re-open the Island this October 1.

I feel like General George Washington at Valley Forge, despondent, desperate,depressed, but holding on to the glorious cause which is to maintain the glory and Independence of OTI against all enemies, foreign or domestic, and will do so with every fiber of my existence!

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

billg315 wrote:It is Feb. 20 and my phone shows high temperatures of 70, 72, and 68 on three consecutive days later this week. I tried to drink this off in the Coconut Room but I have just checked myself into the Sanitarium. All legal matters are temporarily on hold until my treatment is done.
Respectfully,
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

The governments falling apart, there's panic everywhere and rioting in the street, we only have one street so no plural on purpose. Occupy OTI is threatening a rally of 2-3 illegals to protest at Parliament tomorrow. Bananas, coconuts, and mangoes are being hoarded as we speak, anarchy rules as OTI government drools.

TheAresian has lost control of the Coconut Lounge, Gres (Thundersnow) hasn't been on the island for weeks, Snowman is undercover supposedly but no one hears from him, Mugs is still on the Mainland trying to make it snow in 65 degree weather, Taffy AWOL, Mike near the cracking point, The Chief justice is going to the Sanitarium and the Grand High Exalted Mystique ruler may soon be following. This leaves the Director of Mental Health who is probably the most unstable on the Island and Doc our stable Director of Parliament to run things.

I may be breaking away again to form OOTI. The last civil war was bloody here, and I don't want a repeat but desperate times call for desperate measures as they say. Band aid strips doubled in price over night and people stockpiled pebbles, sand, and tree branches in their huts for defense. I sense the same fear again. The future of OTI in this mans opinion is on the brink.

I wouldn't say I've lost control of the Coconut Lounge. It's just that there are, as the Director of Parliament stated, a few female staff members that need some....ummm.... "hands on" assistance with some of their duties. However, I assure you that the lounge remains as lively as ever. In fact, in view of the mounting tension on the island, it might be busier than ever. It's tough to say though because I'm usually seeing two or three of everybody.

OK, Aresian, EXCELLENT news.Now I have located you in this Island emergency and see you are steadfast at your post.

If this turmoil increases in intensity, I will be broadcasting from the Parliament Building via OTINN (OTI News Network) shortly with an emergency evening announcement to the public concerning possible measures we will take to calm the populace and assure all tourists that their safety and security while visiting the Island will be maintained.

Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor Billg's therapy at the OTI Sanitarium is proceeding most excellently and we expect him to return to his duties shortly to enact emergency legislation, if required, during this time of crisis.

I assure all citizens, Directors, and Tourists that OTI will weather(pardon the pun) this crisis as we have in the past.

docstox12 wrote:Desperate men seek desparate measures! Parliament may have no choice but to declare Martial Law with a curfew should the rioting and insurrection talk continue.My Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor is institutionalized, my Director of the Treasury and Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler is out of his coconut due to Mainland Torching, my Director of Technology is in the basement of the OTI Sanitarium in cold shock treatment, My Head Bouncer of the Cocnut Lounge is off on a bender with a few of the female staff,Gres is AWOL and SNOW MAN, Taffy and Mugs have faded into the sunset.Talk of Civil War once again, as in our early days with OOTI, OOOTI, and OOOOOTI,is being heard.

I,Docstox, Director of Parliament and Director of the OTI Sanitarium will single handedly hold this Island together through the sheer force of my will, as I have done in past dark times.I have my Director of Mental Health still in a semi-rational state, and I am sure I can depend on our Emperor for assurances that he and the Mainland will support all efforts to keep OTI intact no matter what happens.Sadly, we may be forced to indeed put into effect an 'OTI Reset" come April 1, or in this particular emergency, sooner in order to get this situation under control, and re-open the Island this October 1.

I feel like General George Washington at Valley Forge, despondent, desperate,depressed, but holding on to the glorious cause which is to maintain the glory and Independence of OTI against all enemies, foreign or domestic, and will do so with every fiber of my existence!

Wow Doc martial law, that's pretty harsh. I remember during the last Civil War and OOTI rebellion Marshall law meant The Coconut Room was closed from 3 am to 4 am and the beaches were clothing optional only after sunset and before sunrise. Hopefully such Draconian measures will not be necessary this time. Should the beaches and the Coconut room lose their morality free zone status, and I'm hoping we don't need to go that far, I fear arrests will be off the charts.

I'm off to the Sanitarium for a much needed break from the bleak news of the weather on the Mainland, my second home there is still under 4.5 inches of snow this morning but that looks to be gone, like SNOWMAN in a February thaw, by Friday. Good luck running the government while I'm away, I hope to be back soon to the land that I love.

But before I go, "Doc, free Syos from suspension, the Director of Mental Health is to be reinstated. There was a dream that was OTI, it shall be realized. These are the wishes of the Snow Queen".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G7GlcCdL6A

You're damn right arrests will be off the charts. Do you guys have any idea how difficult it will be to keep morale up when people get filled up on booze and then told they have to actually behave? I'll stay here and man my post no matter how bleak the outlook. Even in the darkest of times, I will fight for the right to abject degenerate behavior. Speaking of which, I have to go inspect some of the barmaids. I mean.... ummm... the condition of the barma..... at any rate, I'll be here somewhere.

Woah woah woah. Everyone relax. The director of mental health has returned. I have been summoned to the island early from my family vacation skiing in the Poconos in 55 degree weather. While at Camelback i met with a gentleman from the faaaaaar east who provided with me with the formula for a cocktail used on the Tibetan Monks. This potion enables the monks to sit in a catatonic state for many days on end without so much as a glass of water or food. My plan with your approval dear ruler is to eait at the entrance to OTI and "inject" every individual showing up to OTI to escape the mainland blowtorch "except for any beautiful scantilly clad women" This will put us as the rulers and caretakers into a position where we will much more easily deal with the mass panic and restore order to our beautiful island. CIVIL RIGHTS BE DAMNED. MAKE OTI GREAT AGAIN

Greetings from the Coconut Lounge. Head Bouncer Aresian checking in with the following update: Booze continues to flow freely as people attempt to drown their sorrows. The morality-free clause of the lounge is being put to full use and security cameras should provide us with sufficient material for "leverage" if anybody gets out of hand. Also, welcome back to our OTI Director of Mental Health. Your services are desperately needed and I hope that your plan to help control the people is quickly approved and implemented. Sooner an island of compliant zombies than to in any way take away from this beauty that is OTI.

TheAresian wrote:Greetings from the Coconut Lounge. Head Bouncer Aresian checking in with the following update: Booze continues to flow freely as people attempt to drown their sorrows. The morality-free clause of the lounge is being put to full use and security cameras should provide us with sufficient material for "leverage" if anybody gets out of hand. Also, welcome back to our OTI Director of Mental Health. Your services are desperately needed and I hope that your plan to help control the people is quickly approved and implemented. Sooner an island of compliant zombies than to in any way take away from this beauty that is OTI.

When Lincoln won election on the Mainland in 1860 history has looked on that time as the perfect man was elected at a crucial time in history. I feel that same sense of destiny for the Coconut Lounge now that you have taken on the arduous task of Head Bouncer. I sense you may go down in OTI history as the man that kept the Coconut Lounge morality free.

I should be out of the Sanitarium by Friday.

Thank you for the vote of confidence, CP. Upon your release from the Sanitarium, I think you should stop by the lounge for a visit. I've been working with some of the female staffers on ways to encourage patrons to lose their inhibitions and take full advantage of the morality free clause in our beloved Coconut Lounge. I'll even set aside half of my week's pay in coconuts to allow you to run a tab. Just stay away from whatever it is they serve that has a little red umbrella. It results in more memory loss than letting a young Mike Tyson use your head as a heavy bag.

The mere threat of Martial Law has cause a 360 degree turn in Island sentiment greatly aided by the return of Billg, our Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor, Syo, our Director of Mental Health, and the steadfast Head Bouncer of the Coconut Lounge, who single handedly did more to help the situation by mass inebriating the populace and calming them down via various means.This crucial morality free zone, the Coconut Lounge, is attaining a worldwide positive reputation as a happy, non-judgemental zone whre an individual can relax and forget about the Mianland Torching problems.

I am happy to report that the voluntary "OTI Citizens Turn In Your Sticks, Rocks and Sand" project yielded 150 containers of sticks, 2 tons of stones and 5 yeards of sand.This effectively disarmed the planned rebellion against OTI Authority.We can now deal with this temporary torching situation in the Mainland and indeed look forward to a few more snow events.As I type this the Mainland weather authorities mention snowflakes for early next week.

A "Welcome Back" party has been arranged for our vital Director of the Treasury, CP, at the Coconut Lounge and I am sure this will be a weekend bender for this momentous occaision.

I am happy to report that the Coconut Lounge will have extra staff with even less optional clothing for CP's party. At this point, I would like to file a formal request with island security that cameras be turned off for the party so as to allow our guests to celebrate with the added comfort of knowing their particular form of diversion can not be used against them at some point in the future. Should this be considered impractical for the duration of the party, perhaps an hour or two of camera free time at the end of the evening.

Your request will be granted Aresian! Looking forward to the CP Wingding!!!

Snowmania and Snowpression are horrible misunderstood ailments and though the OTI Sanitarium does their best the only true cure is an all nighter at the Coconut Lounge, can't wait.

Should things get way out of hand there's nothing like a good memory bleaching at the Sanitarium the next day. Why live with guilt if you don't have to?

With all due respect CP, the only regret you should ever have about overdoing it is that you didn't overdo it enough.

Gentlemen,

As I sit here in the Coconut Lounge, bereft of hope for the mainland, I can not help but stare with gratitude into the bottom of my glass. For without our beloved OTI, all would surely spiral downward to a place so dark that even the most optimistic of souls would surrender to despair. And yet here we remain steadfast and true. Martial law has been averted. CP's party will surely be an unqualified success and we will find our strength and our collective will renewed. Allow me at this time to thank our leaders for their perseverance through these troubling times. I raise my glass to you all. Your commitment to our cause is unparalleled and should serve as an example to all. God bless OTI.