OTI- Radiation contained - The Island is habitable again as of Jan 2023

syosnow94 wrote:This last week has been one of the most peaceful and productive happy times at OTI since I have been here.  Our residents are very tranquil.  The economy is great.  The drinks are served just right.  There’s snow on the mainland and bitterly cold temperatures.  Life is good on OTI. If I had to nitpick there are two matters of continuing concern.

1.  One of our own continues to be an enigma.  Our very own Mikey Math.  Great young man who has begun to shoulder a lot more of the work ensuring accurate snow measurements.  HOWEVER. He continues to walk on the dark side as a Warmicist.  Very frustrating

2.  A few of us OTI officials led by yours truly are contemplating kidnapping a mainlander by the name of Jman.  Every time snow is mentioned he has a problem with it because it may interfere with his travels.  Unlike someone like say our beloved sroc4 who actually had travel plans cancelled and rearranged.  Did he cry?  No. Like a man he revelled  in all the snow his brothers and sisters were receiving and took one for the team.  [b]I PROPOSE A FEW OF US LED BY OUR CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER AND YOURS TRULY KIDNAP JMAN, BRING HIM TO THE ISLAND AND “ REARRANGE” HIS BRAIN. AFTERWARDS WE WILL RE-RELEASE HIM ON THE MAINLAND WHERE HE WILL NO LONGER COMPLAIN OF IMPENDING SNOW![/b]

Dear Assistant Director of the OTI Sanitarium Syosnow:

As per Mikey Math, our Director of Technology, I suggest we place him under observation.Personally, I feel that many measuring expeditions to correct the Conservatory's notoriously abysmal undermeasurements of snow will be beneficial in curing him of these warmist psychosis.We have already seen the results in the latest measurement at Central Park,resulting in an amazing improvement of measuring there.We are suggesting to the OTI Medical Research team to fast track cloning of Mike to send two of them to La Guardia and Kennedy Airports to remediate those areas whaich are NOW under severe under measurement watch.

As per our beloved J Man, whose enthusiasm in all things weather related is commendable, we have an outpatient therapy group at the OTI Sanitarium with once a week sessions that perhaps could help him .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWNVYAs3hgk

syosnow94 wrote:This last week has been one of the most peaceful and productive happy times at OTI since I have been here.  Our residents are very tranquil.  The economy is great.  The drinks are served just right.  There’s snow on the mainland and bitterly cold temperatures.  Life is good on OTI. If I had to nitpick there are two matters of continuing concern.

1.  One of our own continues to be an enigma.  Our very own Mikey Math.  Great young man who has begun to shoulder a lot more of the work ensuring accurate snow measurements.  HOWEVER. He continues to walk on the dark side as a Warmicist.  Very frustrating

2.  A few of us OTI officials led by yours truly are contemplating kidnapping a mainlander by the name of Jman.  Every time snow is mentioned he has a problem with it because it may interfere with his travels.  Unlike someone like say our beloved sroc4 who actually had travel plans cancelled and rearranged.  Did he cry?  No. Like a man he revelled  in all the snow his brothers and sisters were receiving and took one for the team.  [b]I PROPOSE A FEW OF US LED BY OUR CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER AND YOURS TRULY KIDNAP JMAN, BRING HIM TO THE ISLAND AND “ REARRANGE” HIS BRAIN. AFTERWARDS WE WILL RE-RELEASE HIM ON THE MAINLAND WHERE HE WILL NO LONGER COMPLAIN OF IMPENDING SNOW![/b]

I would agree to the above only if it included some intensive therapy for the severe case of Windmania that Jman suffers from.

Sure we all like a good wind with a heavy snowfall but I do draw the line at damaging winds that start to wreak havoc on the tenuous power grid. After also learning recently about the detrimental effect high winds can have on snow ratios it is more imperative than ever that any snow lovers stop wishing for high winds accompanied by our storms.

In regards to the alleged Warmacist math23×7, Mike seems to like to dabble on the dark side from time to time. So much so that if you will remember about a year ago, maybe it was two years now, he was accused of torch mongering. After several inquiries and interviews and much investigation Mike was eventually acquitted of torch mongering charges. I believe, and Bill G can probably check on this, he was eventually given a summons for being a supporter of the Warmacist movement but not an actual member. As you know pretty much anything goes on off-topic island except that.

Keep up the good work Syos, you, Billg, Math, and TheAresian have been exemplary additions to OTI especially during this trying last year when our beloved Director of security snowman has been unable to fulfill his obligations as much as he would like, and our other founding father Amugs has simply abandoned the island altogether.

I remain, CPcan'tmeasuresnow
I reserve the right in the future as per Billgs suggestion to change my name to LGA or JFK or both cantmeasuresnow
Director of the treasury
Grand high exalted mystic ruler

docstox12 wrote:

syosnow94 wrote:This last week has been one of the most peaceful and productive happy times at OTI since I have been here.  Our residents are very tranquil.  The economy is great.  The drinks are served just right.  There’s snow on the mainland and bitterly cold temperatures.  Life is good on OTI. If I had to nitpick there are two matters of continuing concern.

1.  One of our own continues to be an enigma.  Our very own Mikey Math.  Great young man who has begun to shoulder a lot more of the work ensuring accurate snow measurements.  HOWEVER. He continues to walk on the dark side as a Warmicist.  Very frustrating

2.  A few of us OTI officials led by yours truly are contemplating kidnapping a mainlander by the name of Jman.  Every time snow is mentioned he has a problem with it because it may interfere with his travels.  Unlike someone like say our beloved sroc4 who actually had travel plans cancelled and rearranged.  Did he cry?  No. Like a man he revelled  in all the snow his brothers and sisters were receiving and took one for the team.  [b]I PROPOSE A FEW OF US LED BY OUR CHIEF SECURITY OFFICER AND YOURS TRULY KIDNAP JMAN, BRING HIM TO THE ISLAND AND “ REARRANGE” HIS BRAIN. AFTERWARDS WE WILL RE-RELEASE HIM ON THE MAINLAND WHERE HE WILL NO LONGER COMPLAIN OF IMPENDING SNOW![/b]

Dear Assistant Director of the OTI Sanitarium Syosnow:

As per Mikey Math, our Director of Technology, I suggest we place him under observation.Personally, I feel that many measuring expeditions to correct the Conservatory's notoriously abysmal undermeasurements of snow will be beneficial in curing him of these warmist psychosis.We have already seen the results in the latest measurement at Central Park,resulting in an amazing improvement of measuring there.We are suggesting to the OTI Medical Research team to fast track cloning of Mike to send two of them to La Guardia and Kennedy Airports to remediate those areas whaich are NOW under severe under measurement watch.

As per our beloved J Man, whose enthusiasm in all things weather related is commendable, we have an outpatient therapy group at the OTI Sanitarium with once a week sessions that perhaps could help him .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWNVYAs3hgk

Just got around to watching this, love it. I agree with Billg, wait around for the second one, even better than the first.

Doc where do you find this stuff?

syosnow94 wrote:About an hour ago as I was finishing my rounds at the sanitarium I began to experience a lightheadedness and involuntary muscle twitching.  I also felt a brief period of rage which passed.  Afterwards I thought to myself what could have happened?  Turns out I wasn’t the only person to feel this.  All forum residents in and around the NYC area experienced this after seeing the snow map for the EURO for next Wednesday which depicted a Godzilla for areas around NYC but a measly 1” for those in the immediate suburbs south and east.  

It’s early but this is something to take into consideration as it may turn into a bigger problem as we enter early next week.

Assistant Director of the Sanitarium Syosnow:

I recommend increasing those residents of that particular area hospitalized here, dosage of Thorazine to 100 mg until we have more clarification from our Mainland Long Term Weather Team.

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director of the OTI Sanitarium

Director of Technology Math23x7:

First, I wish to commend you on your vigilance because the woefully inadequate measuring capability at LGA and JFK were brought to the OTI Bureau of Measurements and Statistics by yourself before anybody else had blown the whistle on this malfeasance.

Secondly, now that our beloved and esteemed Director of the Treasury CP, through painstaking and agonizing correction of Central Park NY measurement deficiencies, the effort of which brought him into the OTI Sanitarium after a few nervous breakdowns,has produced a miraculous change for the better at the Conservancy.I will make inquiries at the OTI Bureau of Medical Science if the Treasury Director can be cloned and his variants be sent to LGA and JFK to correct the painfully obvious mismeasures  at those  facilities.The only problem we may have is in the nomenclature.Will it be CP1,CP2 or CP3...or CP1PO, CP2PO or CP3PO.Hmmmmmm, that CP3PO seems to ring a bell.Oh, well, a minor fly in the proverbial ointment!!!

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director of the OTI Sanitarium

PS: An all points bulletin has been put out on the Island for Aresian.When his Mainland Estate received 5.5 inches of snow, he went on a bender and has not been seen at the Coconut Lounge.Please call me directly at the Parliament Building at COconut 7, 2693 with any information to his whereabouts.

Doc we are all very proud of the Herculean task that Math has embraced since his move to Manhattan. I often referred to math in the past as my Jedi apprentice but as DARTH Vader said to Obi Wan during their last battle the training is now complete and the apprentice has become the master.

Mikes work in the park has been exemplary and should be lauded but his dabbling in the religion of warmicism has me concerned. I trained Mike in snowish philosophy and even threw in some frozenanity philosophy but apparently to no avail. I’m hoping his dabbling in warmism is a fad but stronger minds than his have been seduced. Of course my last fear is mike succumbing to the under measuritis currently afflicting RB, or the severe case of over measuritis our Director of mental health is suddenly consumed with. Troubling times at OTI BUT WEVE CERTAINLY overcome worse.

I remain
CPcantmeasuresnow
Measuritis sufferer but in remission
Director of the Treasury
GHEMR

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Doc we are all very proud of the Herculean task that Math has embraced since his move to Manhattan. I often referred to math in the past as my Jedi apprentice but as DARTH Vader said to Obi Wan during their last battle the training is now complete and the apprentice has become the master.

Mikes work in the park has been exemplary and should be lauded but his dabbling in the religion of warmicism has me concerned. I trained Mike in snowish philosophy and even threw in some frozenanity philosophy but apparently to no avail. I’m hoping his dabbling in warmism is a fad but stronger minds than his have been seduced.  Of course my last fear is mike succumbing to the under measuritis currently afflicting RB, or the severe case of over measuritis our Director of mental health is suddenly consumed with. Troubling times at OTI BUT WEVE CERTAINLY overcome worse.

I remain
CPcantmeasuresnow
Measuritis sufferer but in remission
Director of the Treasury
GHEMR

Well stated Director of the Treasury and GHEMR.Your characterizations of our Director of technology and Assistant Director of the Sanitarium illustrate the eternal battle of good and evil, the ying and yang's of snow measurement and our Island's never ending battle for truth, justice and the OTI way.I have contacted the OTI Central Intelligence Agency and have suggested dossiers be created on these individuals should a Snowgate Investigation ever be necessary.Since we are almost at the dead of the winter in the Mainland, that period from the last two weeks of January to the first two weeks if February,an active investigation would probably not be opened this year but intelligence concerning this matter will continue to be gathered.

Docstox
Director of Parliamment
Director of the OTI Sanitarium

edit

Citizens of OTI

Though we opened OTI as a free and open society I'm beginning to think we need certain restrictions placed on our borders as far as who sets up temporary and permanent residency here. The divergent snow faiths that are popping up in various places of our island are leading to unrest in some areas with snowflicts and warmishes being reported in outlying areas. To help prevent any further unrest among our citizens, people here on visa, and tourists, I propose that we write the following into the OTI Constitution.

My first proposal is very controversial but I think it's one that people will be thanking me for hundreds of years from now when OTI is still an island of peace.

My amendments to our Constitution is as follows:

Amendment I:

To become a citizen of OTI you must be a follower of one of the three main monosnowistic religions. Snowish, Frozenanity, or Icelam. I'm afraid because a small percentage of people following Icelam have been radicalized and are starting to refer to hail, sleet, freezing rain and other forms of frozen precipitation as snow their branch of Icelam can no longer be considered a monosnowisitc religion and should no longer be eligible for citizenship or extended visas. They will be allowed tourist visas but will not be allowed to proselytize in any form.

So we are not mistaken as snowcists with our own brand of veiled snowcism, it should also be written in to the Constitution that if any of the three main branches of monosnowistic religions break off into a different sect that begins to refer to any other frozen precipitation other than snow as snow they too will be considered persona non grata on OTI.

Amendment II:

The religion of Warmism and the nut jobs, sorry I mean the Warmacists that follow Warmism should not be allowed to migrate here or visit here, and spread their Warmacist ideology. I realize this goes against our free and open border policy but these people do not seem reasonable in my mind. They want everyone to have extended thaws, no one to have sustained snow coverage for any period of time, and they don't seem to be happy unless everyone joins in their extreme philosophy.

Amendmentl III:

Any of the Eastern religions, snowism, blizzardism, frankzillaism will all be allowed to visit, receive extended visas and even apply for and be granted citizenship despite some of their insistence on including sleet in their snow vocabulary.

I'm not sure if everything proposed above would pass the legal guidelines of the OTI Constitution, I suppose only our Chief Justice Bill G can give us a final ruling on that, however I would like our Director of Parliament Docstox to put these amendments before Parliament and see if they could even pass our legislature. Divided as they are with suspected Warmacists (you know who you are) already in our legislature, I'm not sure if we can even pass that first step.

I remain
CPCantmeasuresnow
Director of the treasury
Grand high exalted mystic ruler

syosnow94 wrote:

docstox12 wrote:

syosnow94 wrote:I think I may have found a way to re-stock our coffers and store away some $$$ for the future.  
I BELIEVE WE CAN MARKET AND SELL THIS TO OUR CITIZENS SUFFERING FROM "MELTITIS", "VIRGA SYNDROME", "GLCUTTERITIS", "MILLERBBOSTONJACKPOTNESS" ETC; WE CAN CALL IT THE OFFICIAL OTI REDNECK CURE-ALL.  
https://youtu.be/Uh76prNMCok
OTI

PURE GENIUS from our Director of Mental Health.The Sanitarium has a large basement area we will install heavy duty refrigeration equipment and along with this device, manufacture our OWN snow to place seriously ill patients suffering form the various  snowdeprivation maladies  into for amelioration and cure of their illnesses.We will be up and running for the upcoming winter of 2017-2018.The Sanitarium will approach Parliament with a detailed outline of the costs which will be submitted to the Director of the Treasury for inspection, correction and approval.

I ask my OTI brethren.  Is this not an acceptable means of coating ones yard with snow.  A few have begun to challenge my snow measuring techniques.  Those who have questioned are just upset that a Southeaster has been winning the snow total battle many times these past few years, while some AARP Northwesterners have been sucking virga.  So what that I am intelligent and savvy enough to use this machine to “add” to the totals IMBY.  This is clever And resourceful on my part.

As far as our beloved Cocunut Lounge Director Aresian, IVE SPOTTED HIM.[b][b]. On a recent trip to our beloved Island to check on our patients I heard whispers that a deranged man was running through the forest yelling at odd hours of the night.  Being the upstanding OTI citizen I am I went to investigate.  What I found was shocking.  The Aresian would occasionally appear in the distance running in and out of the trees in the country side with farmer Jones chasing after him holding branches.  It appeared to me that our beloved Aresian had several bamboo shoots protruding from his rectum and was not wearing any pants.  I couldn’t help him as Farmer Jones and I have our own issues.  I feel bad for The Aresian but he was warned not to mess with Farmer Jones’ daughters or livestock.[/b][/b]

Just after posting this I read CP’s post and wholeheartedly agree.  No warmiccist nut jobs or Icelam followers on our beautiful island.  I SECOND HIS NOTION

Please read carefully my friend. I am not banning Icelam, only the extreme form of it practiced by a few. The same would go with any of the other monosnowistic religions, snowish or frozanity. We are not snowists on OTI nor do I ever want our island to go in that direction

TheAresian wrote:Gentlemen,

I send this communique from an undisclosed location somewhere on the island. Reports of my problems with Farmer Jones are not overstated. It seems he took severe exception not only to my visiting his daughter, but to a remark I made regarding my inability to distinguish between his daughter and his livestock. I tell you, some people are way too touchy. At any rate, I've managed to extract the bamboo from my orifices and am waiting for a safe time to return to the relative safety of the Coconut Lounge. I have to sign off for now because I can hear him getting...... Oh no.....no.....get away from me....owwwwwww!!!!!!

To this entire thread; esp the quote above

It's always special when royalty visits. Sroc thank you for allowing us to exist, as I know you and Frank could launch cyber missiles at anytime and blow OTI off the face of the cyber world.

Now can we put TheAresians bamboo problems behind us, poor choice of words, to the side for the moment so my amendments can at least be considered by Parliament and the legality by our chief justice.

Thank you Syos for your early support of my amendments. We may need you for a MCcarthy like investigation of all Warmists and Warmist sympathizers in OTI government.

billg315 wrote:With regard to proposed Constitutional Amendments, if they are approved by the inhabitants of OTI, they must be enforced by this Court. While a simple legislative act of Parliament could be found unconstitutional and therefore unenforceable, a change to our constitution ratified by the people shall stand and be enforced.

Personally I’ve always found the strength of this island to be our intolerance. You either like snow or you get sent to an asylum, er, Sanitarium to be poked, I mean, treated, by Syos. It’s very straightforward. There are plenty of other cyber islands for people to go to if they don’t agree with our snowism. They can go there and pray for weird things like “early Springs,” “January thaws” or “Indian summers.” OTI is its own community. We are not part of some world government where warmists dictate our OTI policies. We can be friends and even allies with those islands, but we need not adopt their strange practices here.
If I want to hear about warming trends and winter ending on Jan 18 I’ll go to the Mainland and read Mike’s posts in the Long Range thread. (As an aside, Syos, I hope you have some treatment in mind for Mike as he seems to be suffering from a warmicist spread infection. Probably caught from a warmist who visited OTI - another reason to tighten things up at our borders and points of entry).
Anyway those, loosely, are my thoughts as to the proposed amendments.
On a separate note, the Court wishes to remind EVERYONE that bamboo shoots are still an illegal weapon, and intimate relations with livestock are still misdemeanors around here. Thank you.
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

Intelligent, well thought out, and hysterical as always.

I will wait for our esteemed Director of Parliament to put all three amendments before our legislature. If they all pass I will proceed to post them in the OTI government and historical data section.

syosnow94 wrote:Billg.  Great thoughts. You are a genius. Let never answer in kind

First off if you'd like OTI inhabitants opinions on CP's proposal I say yes. I ALso second your thoughts about us becoming ave tolerant nation. I myself am intolerant and want OTI to be the same. You either love snow and cold or you are not welcome. TO that end I actually push for the deportation of Math and his warmiccist mindset. Regardless of how it came about we don't tolerate that behavior here. If the court so please I will treat the young man but it will be INTENSIVE

As far as relations with livestock........I plead the fifth

You are freaking insane. As I said when I first recommended you for the position, to be a good Director of Mental Health you have to have been there and back, and in your case I'm suspecting many times.

Now that Attorney General Billg has thoroughly reviewed CP's proposal for an OTI Constitutional Amendment, which has passed Parliamentary approval, the  procedural steps are being taken to ratify it.OTI has 12 sectors. and each sector, as per our Constitution and Attorney General Billg's legal examination, will now proceed to vote.If all 12 sectors of OTI approve of the Amendment, Parliament will proceed to add this to our Constitution.

If I may digress a moment to add my own opinion on Cp's erudite treatise, it would be my unease with Amendment II.As Director of the OTI Sanitarium, I feel that warmacism is a mental illness that can be cured with the proper psychological regimen.I fear the Sanitarium will have massive losses in revenue as warmacists who are seeking treatment will shun OTI as a result of being ostracized as per Amendment II.My own belief is that warmacists who visit OTI are exposed to the wonderful psychology of snowishness and with exposure to that and treatment at the Sanitarium, can leave OTI and become disciples of snow and cold.Denying them access to OTI would remove that possibility.Then there is the thorny issue of our own Director of Technology Math23X7.He was admitted and installed under the current OTI Constitution and even though he is exhibiting warmacist tendencies, would he be evicted and stripped of his title under Article II of the Amendment? Would he have a basis in the Mainland Court of Law to file a grievance and sue OTI?These concerns are merely my humble thoughts , whatever the Island decides sector by sector, I , as Director of Parliament will surely ratify into a Constitutional Amendment.

We at OTI must also realize that Emperor Frank would have the final say in this matter as the Emperor, as CP has wisely noted, can with the punch of a few keys on the keyboard , can eradicate OTI in an instant.We at OTI exist at the indulgence of Emperor Frank and must never forget that.His silence on this matter will be construed as approval.

I apologize on the delay of responding on this vital issue as I was on the Mainland assisting my beloved Mother, the Dutchess of Fort Lee.

I remain

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director of OTI Sanitarium