OTI- Radiation contained - The Island is habitable again as of Jan 2023

I am checking myself in to OTI. I need help.

ALERT ALERT ALERT!!!!

The Emperor has arrived on OTI. This setting off nuclear devices and abandoning the island all seemed like a good idea until the Emperor arrived and was exposed to the dangers of excessive radiation.

I urge, no, I implore, no, I beg my fellow OTI government officials to remediate the island and open up our shuttered facilities so the Emperor can get the treatment he seeks and get back to the Mainland in good health and sound mind. (I think the marble and granite edifice of the Hall of Justice survived the blast, but most of the thatched huts were leveled. Anyway).

Syos, can you open a temporary sanitarium facility? Like a MASH ward, maybe?

billg315 wrote:ALERT ALERT ALERT!!!!

The Emperor has arrived on OTI.  This setting off nuclear devices and abandoning the island all seemed like a good idea until the Emperor arrived and was exposed to the dangers of excessive radiation.

I urge, no, I implore, no, I beg my fellow OTI government officials to remediate the island and open up our shuttered facilities so the Emperor can get the treatment he seeks and get back to the Mainland in good health and sound mind. (I think the marble and granite edifice of the Hall of Justice survived the blast, but most of the thatched huts were leveled. Anyway).

Syos, can you open a temporary sanitarium facility? Like a MASH ward, maybe?

This is an extremely interesting development!

Luckily, the Sanitarium built of steel girder and concrete block with brick, did not sustain any serious damage in the nuclear blasts.Luckily the prevailing westerlies have blown all radiation out to sea and any residual radiation is being cleaned up by this method:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIBzHwGafDo

My financial wizadry of exchanging all useless FIAT paper currency for gold prior to closure and blast has come in handy paying for the clean up of the Island.The gold was safely buried in a location known only to myself.

As the staff of the OTI Sanitarium either left or was incinerated into vapor, I myself, will  have the honor of treating the Emperor in his obvious display of snow deprivation psychosis.I was hoping my Assistant Director of the OTI Sanitarium Syosnow would be available to assist me, but apparently, he too has sustained severe snow melancholia and neurasthenia.

The Emperor will be treated as the ROYALTY he is and I can assure you will be back to the Mainland in a very short time.

Here in the very final days of OTI we find salvation and recovery!

Docstox
Director of Parliament( or what's left of it)
Director OTI Sanitarium
Interim Director of OTI Radiation Remediation

Immediately upon learning that Emperor Frank was arriving on the island I ordered all former OTI Justice Department and Judicial Staff into service to begin making repairs to the OTI Hall of Justice and to expedite a reconstruction process. Unfortunately we could not complete the work before the Emperor's Advance Team arrived to conduct a pre-visit inspection. Here is some video of how that went (You can see how industrious my staff was with their use of our snow shovels during this snowless winter):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FeJbBNp6Ks

billg315 wrote:Immediately upon learning that Emperor Frank was arriving on the island I ordered all former OTI Justice Department and Judicial Staff into service to begin making repairs to the OTI Hall of Justice and to expedite a reconstruction process. Unfortunately we could not complete the work before the Emperor's Advance Team arrived to conduct a pre-visit inspection. Here is some video of how that went (You can see how industrious my staff was with their use of our snow shovels during this snowless winter):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FeJbBNp6Ks

GREAT WORK billg in this intervention on behalf of the Emperor's mental health!!!

As interim Director of Radiation Remediation, I use this method to train my staff in the proper and improper ways to handle the dangerous blast residues on OTI.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plQ7N9-4EJ0

docstox12 wrote:As interim Director of Radiation Remediation, I use this method to train my staff in the proper and improper ways to handle the dangerous blast residues on OTI.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plQ7N9-4EJ0

Lol!!! That is fantastic. A very effective demonstration. (The baby pacifier in the car at the end was the best). Hopefully all OTI remediation workers are properly using the decontamination tents.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Just thought I'd put the old lead suit on and check things out and see if there was any shot at moving back in this year.



I guess not

"do not enter unless encased in lead"....HILARIOUS.

I'm starting to write a new "Ode to OTI" titled "When The Sands Turn To Glass"!

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

docstox12 wrote:

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Just thought I'd put the old lead suit on and check things out and see if there was any shot at moving back in this year.



I guess not

"do not enter unless encased in lead"....HILARIOUS.

I'm starting to write a new "Ode to OTI" titled "When The Sands Turn To Glass"!

Doc I look forward to its release date.

CP, I have purchased a ead suit and will visit OTI's simmering cinders for inspiration!

Glowingly yours,
Doc

I found an old ead suit in my basement.  Moth eaten, but so what.  Wow, this place is hauntingly quiet.   Eerie.  I hear a faint buzzing.  Wait its getting louder.  Like an insect about to attack.  Whoah, can it be?? Why, it's Keanu Reaves trying to reconcile the fact that he is John Wick and Bill (or Ted). Part of his face is clean shaven and the other has that creepy beard.  Nope.  But that's not the sound. Not at all. Looking around. Damn.  There is a dude called Snowdad screaming about his lost winter. Face is fire engine red.  But due to the radiation, he's actually shrunk and is now 2 feet tall.  Hnnn.  What else is here.  I see a blade of grass and a tiny flower.   Nice. Maybe there is hope yet for this cherished land.  Hold it.  I hear that insect again.  By the snowy icicles of Antarctica, its a fly with Frank's face on it!!  Freaky.  You'd think it would be Jeff Goldblum.  He's crying because he is too busy to look at snow maps.  Poor thing.  Time for a margarita.  Little poor fly.  It'll be okay.  Maybe in about 70 years, when you retire, you will be able to review those cherished maps again. Gotta go. I think there was a leftover moth in my suit. Unlike poor Snowydad, it has grown to about 80 stories. Time to head on home before I get mothrad.

I left extra days before re-entering our Island in my lead suit.Normally, I open the Island for business on October 1.However, early stirrings of winter forecasts prompted me out of my malaise to get my arse in that lead suit and get to work.My Geiger Counter curiously registers normal amounts of radiation.I trust it even though it was made in China and bought it before the tariffs kicked in at Walmart.Visual scans reveal no infrastructure damages in any sector, but the coconuts and bananas are curiously 2 to 3 times normal size, probably as a result of the radiation.Those will be tested for radiation contamination by any staff that can be enticed to return to OTI for the coming season.If not, I will dispose of them if they are contaminated in Sector 7 where a large cave exists.It's possible I could be the only one staffing OTI this winter season but I welcome back any of our capable staff who in years past did a magnificent job governing the Island.Ok, now back to the Parliament Building to take inventory for the needs of the coming season.Over and out for now.

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
Opening day October 19 Anno Domani 2019

The celebratory "First Flakes On The Mainland" party is rapidly approaching according to our amazing forecasters there.I am gathering up driftwood with the skeleton staff that deigned to return to the Island this season to prepare for the beach bonfire that is part of that.Parliament has not been in session yet as there is not a quorum for any legislation.In fact, I am the leader of just myself which could lead to a streak of megalomania as I have been prone to develop on occasion when not reigned in.
Looks like cold returns to the Mainland late next week.Soon there will be a massive influx of anxiety prone and disappointed Mainlanders who all expect massive snowstorms.I will do my best to entertain them and aanlyze their psychosis at the Sanitarium and Coconut Lounge.
Over and out for now
Docstox
Director of EVERYTHING heh, heh, heh........

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:You sure you're okay there Doc? The radiation levels from all the readings I've seen are still unsafe. The OTI remote just captured this image from Sector 5. Did you write this?

It's probably a message sent from this scientific crew who wanted to study the effects of the radiation we were experiencing, on the insects of Sector 5.They have not contacted me with a report for a week now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TbtsUK8Alg

OTI STATUS REPORT-NOVEMBER14 ANNO DOMANI 2019
Direct from the Parliament Building:

1) Noted and increase in bookings to the OTI Sanitarium 25% as a result of excellent long range winter forecaster Isotherm on the Mainland calling for below to near average snowfall this winter.Prior long range forecasts from other Mainland sources had the populace more hopeful for much more snowfall.Indeed, Isotherm's forecast calls for above normal temperatures as well.I have managed to employ 2 more full time therapists specializing in snow disappointment syndrome, a particularly virulent form of winter depression for the snow lover.

2) Noted the return of my right arm, CP, our Director of the Treasury and to wit, the following of note for him:

3) To help defray the costs of radiation removal, I have come up with the novel idea of selling red caps with the logo MOTIHA( pronounced MO TEA HA) .The logo means Make OTI Habitable Again.The monies we generate will go into the Treasury to be handled by CP

4) Remediation of radiation completed in vital Sectors 1, 2, and 3 supervised by OTI Scientists specializing in radiation, Dr. Quark and Dr. Ray Donn.They used a novel method which cost OTI nary a cent, they sliced coconuts in half, laid them on the ground, and the radiation was absorbed efficiently.A crew with Haz Mat Suits then transported the radioactive coconuts to a final site far in sector 10, the caves by the ocean.

That is all:
I remain,
Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
Director Coconut Lounge

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

docstox12 wrote:The celebratory "First Flakes On The Mainland" party is rapidly approaching according to our amazing forecasters there.I am gathering up driftwood with the skeleton staff that deigned to return to the Island this season to prepare for the beach bonfire that is part of that.Parliament has not been in session yet as there is not a quorum for any legislation.In fact, I am the leader of just myself which could lead to a streak of megalomania as I have been prone to develop on occasion when not reigned in.
Looks like cold returns to the Mainland late next week.Soon there will be a massive influx of anxiety prone and disappointed Mainlanders who all expect massive snowstorms.I will do my best to entertain them and aanlyze their psychosis at the Sanitarium and Coconut Lounge.
Over and out for now
Docstox
Director of EVERYTHING heh, heh, heh........

You're doing one hell of a job on your own. Maybe some of your best work ever. Yes there's a little megalomania involved but go with it.

Thank you my good man, you are my right arm in the management and governance of this place, and just when you thought you were OUT my madness pulls you BACK IN!
Sorry to ruin any meager possibility of you having a normal life now,LOL.

Your fellow OTI Citizen
Docstox

OTI Scientific Institute Report

Unfortunately, out first attempts to initiate Operation Pac Ridge, launching rockets from Cape Coconut on OTI , to seed the upper atmosphere over the Paciific with OTI beach sand ,in order to change the ridge structure to a more favorable configuration for East Coast snow,have proven to be a dismal failure.
The OTI Bureau of Investigation is looking into possible sabotage by interests involving Rocky Mountain ski resorts.
Further bulletins will be issued as information comes in.

Video of OTI rocket failures:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k55orC687OQ

FINAL PROCLAMATION AND NOTICE OF CLOSURE

      Dear Mainland Friends,
              It is my sad duty to announce that OTI will be closing for the foreseeable future, say like 100,000 years.The radiation accident that befell us last year has kept all Mainland visitors away this winter season.The cause is the radiation, as in this most miserable of winters, we would have been deluged with guests seeking therapy for snow deprivation syndrome.I tried valiantly, but the economic collapse from lack of revenue forces me to close the Island.
     
              I could not just let it fade into obscurity without recognition of the great works helping the Mainland Public.As such, as your former Director of Parliament and Director of the OTI Sanitarium, I would like to thank the following:
First and foremost, Emperor Frank, for creating a space for OTI to operate these years and for the Administrators, especially Doc,for enabling our operation.
              Thanks to Founding Fathers Mugsy and Cp, who at the beginning help me to create our shining Island in the sea.Thanks to my right arm, CP, Director of the OTI Treasury, Syosnow, Director of the Coconut Lounge and Assistant Director of the OTI Sanitarium,Aresian, former Director of the Coconut Lounge, Math 23x7 aka Mikey, Director of the OTI Bureau of Science and Statistics, and Attorney General Billg, whose legal expertise greased the legal wheels of OTI legislature.
               I have made a memory stick of our years of operation as chronicled here on this thread and have included other OTI memorabilia, such as radiated bannanas and coconuts and other artifacts, and buried a time capsule near the OTI Parliament Building.Perhaps in the year 102,020, explorers will find it and relive the history of OTI.
              As for myself, I am leaving for other internet worlds that need my encouragement and humor.I will maintain my Mainland address for the occasional weather observation, historical anecdote or humorous bon mot.
              I wish to thank all who have visited us through the years and wish you all the very best of health, happiness and snowy winters!

DOCSTOX
Former Director of  Parliament
Former Director of the OTI Sanitarium
Proclamation dated March 15 Anno Domani 2020

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:We are back full time ladies and gentleman. Almost three years after our beloved Director of Parliament had to give up his valiant attempt to keep our radiation infested paradise running, we are back and radiation free.

For all the people out in the cyber world that follow this saga, 2 as of the last count, the emergency reopening thread is no longer necessary. The main OTI thread is back in service and radiation free. Let the flood of postings begin.

Let us say the recently modified OTI Pledge together.

I pledge allegiance to OTI
Of the Off Topic Island Republic
And to The Aresian and Taffy too
And other residents that come and go
One Nation under Docstox
Indivisible except by CP
With snowman and Billg for all.

I will have the pledge memorized forthwith.
Your steadfast loyalty and unswerving energy in the prelude to formal radiation free permanent opening will go down in the annals of OTI and it's satellite,OOTI.I expect massive waves of Mainland visitors here shortly as the "wall and wing of horror and discontent" festers continually on the Mainland.You and I need to do an inspection of the port and customs area.We can share the duties of port management and customs together.
I think we owe each other an encomium on how we have kept this island on the outskirts of the cyber world in operation for over 10 years with officials coming and going and the terrible radiation incident that has now been cleared  with the help of Billg's knowledge of dish detergent.
I look forward to the next ten years of comraderie, scientific development, and boozy good times at the Coconut Lounge.
As ever.

Your Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
Temporary Director of Port and Customs

Dropping back in from the Mainland again. Saturday night, I saw a strange sight out the window. It had been a cold and blustery day (at least what passes for cold on the Mainland these days) and around 9 p.m. I saw white flakes begin to fly. They lasted briefly, maybe about 30 minutes and they were so light and scattered I'm not sure they actually ever reached the ground ... maybe just swirled in the air until they had passed by. The radar confirmed indeed the presence of flurries where I was. But then, as soon as they came they were gone.

Now upon further reflection, some 48 hours later, I believe I was having a delusion. Having agreed to CP's theory that there is no more winter. This was likely a withdrawal symptom, nothing more.

When there was a winter, I saw winter things (snow) and wore winter things (scarves, coats), I thought of winter things; but now as I have grown to non-winter, I have put away winter things.

For sure Saturday night was a mirage.

billg315 wrote:Dropping back in from the Mainland again. Saturday night, I saw a strange sight out the window. It had been a cold and blustery day (at least what passes for cold on the Mainland these days) and around 9 p.m. I saw white flakes begin to fly. They lasted briefly, maybe about 30 minutes and they were so light and scattered I'm not sure they actually ever reached the ground ... maybe just swirled in the air until they had passed by. The radar confirmed indeed the presence of flurries where I was. But then, as soon as they came they were gone.

Now upon further reflection, some 48 hours later, I believe I was having a delusion. Having agreed to CP's theory that there is no more winter. This was likely a withdrawal symptom, nothing more.

When there was a winter, I saw winter things (snow) and wore winter things (scarves, coats), I thought of winter things; but now as I have grown to non-winter, I have put away winter things.

For sure Saturday night was a mirage.

I saw the same little white things floating by my downstairs window on my Mainland estate I was visiting foolishly, but on further investigation, it was discovered my Wife was shaking out a dust mop from the second story window.Amazing how non-winter withdrawal plays these cruel tricks on a person like myself with a 60 year addiction to snowstorms ( whatever they used to call it).
You have saved what little shreds of sanity myself and CP have with your amazing deployment of Dawn dishwashing deradiation treatments.The Mainland must have spent untold billions in research trying to attain this, but there you are having a few crates of the material air dropped from Walmart.I applaud this!
Steadfastly, we of OTI and OOTI ,will maintain our positions here and set up NWPC (non-winter processing centers) for those of the Mainland that have given up.
The twelve step program will begin with the following mantra said by all:
"Non winter is PEACE"
"Non winter is Peace"

As part of the OTI Sanitarium, which has been overflowling lately with discouraged snow lovers from the Mainland, conversion therapy from Winter to Non Winter begins with all of them viewing this film to reach total despair and frustration, which allows the individual to be receptive to non-winter conversion therapy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfdmjbYMPz0

Docstox
Director of OTI Parliament
Director of OTI Sanitarium in charge also of Winter-Non-Winter Conversion Therapy