OTI- Radiation contained - The Island is habitable again as of Jan 2023

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:I’m here for eternity. Yes even after I die this is where I will reside. It’s a kind of purgatory for people who lived good lives, but were whining crybabies when it came to not getting their way November 25 through April 1.

In what has become the most worthless Wall season I’ve ever endured I put no hope in Wing. Even if Wing somehow produced snow and cold in its late stages what is the point? What use to be termed Winter has already been ruined.

The two best months of what use to be Winter are December and January. Lowest sun angles, Holidays and all that, this has been the worst in memory. A snowy Wing, which by the way won’t happen this year, but if it did is too little to late.

Hello OTI and hello sanity. I’ve had enough delayed pattern changes for the rest of whatever life I have left.

Pattern change is the dirtiest, filthiest, term in the English language. Stratospheric warming is the second filthiest.

Ahhhhhh the ocean breeze. Who needs Winter, Wall, Wing, snow, cold, it’s all a waste of time.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:Amazing how quickly your crew got the hyperbaric Chamber up and running. Book me for noon today after I spend the morning cleaning up the imaginary 3 to 5 inches of snow I didn’t receive on the mainland.

Snowlessness is peace
Snowlessness is peace

Blood pressure already down to 125 over 75.

I will be changing my name soon to Wintersnowandcoldareamyth, yes it’s a little longer but why should I retain a name about the idiots in Central Park that can’t measure snow when there’s nothing to measure. Seems pointless.

Wintersnowandcoldareamyth
Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler
Temporary Directory of official name changes

dkodgis wrote:Nature abhors a vacuum. Thus I am here to solicit the running of the coconut lounge. I shall endeavor to make drinks, provide entertainment, and post smartly.

sroc4 wrote:

Good morning to you all.  I come to you with this glass of water.  This glass is neither half empty, NOR Half full.  This glass is merely a glass of water.   I offer it to you good people in hopes that you may help guide me on my journey to, at the very least, begin to regain some semblance of sanity. I wish I had more to offer you, but this is all that survived the journey off the mainland.  

The mainland has become a place that I don't quite understand anymore.  For some reason definitions and meanings of words and things have been up ended.  What I used to think were clear and straight forward have been changed by some unknown forces in the universe completely.  Heck even new meanings to existing words have been introduced.  Male is a female and A female is a male, up is down and down is up, Wall is winter and winter is WING!!!  I just down understand what it all means anymore.  

Anyway I began my journey awhile ago.  To begin with I had no particular direction in mind.  When I was a kid and I didnt know where we were headed I would ask my dad "How do you know where you are going?"  His response was always...."I'm just following my nose kid.  When in doubt follow your nose.  It will always get you to where need to be."  


In my state of confusion I decided to take my dads advise, and began to follow my nose.  It took me to the shores of the mainland.   I just kept going.    



It was a long journey with sleepless night floating aimlessly




There were others along the way




But finally, as I was drifting along on the southern blow, I found myself washed ashore here this morning.  




(Apparently this camera was using a filter making me look 30 years younger and gave me the appearance that I am a youthful Asian man.  As you can clearly see I am a middle aged Italian American man with a hint of Irish, weathered and worn from years of parenthood, business ownership, and a snowless winter, or wall, or wing, or whatever IT IS!!! on the cusp of what I think people on the mainland call a mid-life crisis).  


At first I wasn't sure where I was.  It first appeared as if this was just another one of the many uninhabited islands I had landed on on my journey.  



But a strange thing happened....  While I was setting up camp; ready to rest these middle aged bones for the day as I had done in the past, I looked up only to find this fine gentleman walking by my camp.  I wasn't sure if this gentleman was a hallucination from lack of food and water or not.  With my jaw dropped, I starred at him bewildered.  Then, without breaking stride, he turned to me and and simply said..."Sup?"  





I still wasn't sure if I was hallucinating; however, I somehow without realizing it found myself following behind him as if caught up in an imaginary wake being pulled along by an unknown force.  Was I dreaming or was thisreally happening?  I'm still not sure.

 On what was probably no more than a 10minute walk, although it felt like an eternity,  this man spoke of this Island as a kind of a refuge of sorts.  I had not eaten much and was quite parched because I was saving my last bit of water as a peace offering to any possible restless natives I came across on my journey, so the details of what this man had been telling me on this ten minute walk were fuzzy.  I believe I heard him speaking of a massive explosion of nuclear proportions followed by massive amounts of radiation, and evacuations.  In addition I believe this man spoke of a large shipments of Dawn dish soap, coconuts, gold, and Vitamin D.   It really made no sense to me as I was trying to  process this conversation.  In my mind I was clearly hallucinating, but I figured if this was the end then I might as well just lean into it and enjoy my final ride.  

But something strange happened.  I began looking around me and something felt familiar; like I had been here before.  As I walked up it hit me like a ton of bricks!!!!  I was on OTI and this was "THE" Coconut Lounge!!!!!  



In front of me are several angry birds who aren't looking so angry.  From the moment it dawned on me where I was, a sense of calm washed over me.  

I'm not sure how I have much more I really have to say, and I'm not really sure how long I can stay, but once again I say Hello and good morning.  I bring to you this glass of water, neither half empty NOR half full as an offering in hopes of at least a temporary seat at the lounge.  And if its not too much trouble I would really love a Hendricks/Tonic with a healthy squeeze of fresh lemons.  Other than the glass of water, I don't have anything but the clothes on my back and my undeniable work ethic.  I have no problems working hard to earn my keep while I am here, so please put me to work where you see fit.

Dunnzoo wrote:After spending a week in Florida, this snow weenie is on her way. I made a pit stop at the Mainland to take care of a few things, and I would like to provide my EMT services for the island. My island name is Meddie, and I will be available for any illness or conk on the head by a coconut. Please let me know if I need to order any medical supplies, or if you are already stocked. Save me a place at the Coconut lounge!

Dunnzoo wrote:After spending a week in Florida, this snow weenie is on her way. I made a pit stop at the Mainland to take care of a few things, and I would like to provide my EMT services for the island. My island name is Meddie, and I will be available for any illness or conk on the head by a coconut. Please let me know if I need to order any medical supplies, or if you are already stocked. Save me a place at the Coconut lounge!

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:THE OTI PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
Updated January 30, 2023

I pledge allegiance to OTI
Of the Off Topic Island Republic
And to Dunzoo and Damian too
And Sroc and Directors that come and go
One nation under Docstox
Indivisible except by CP
With Math23x7 and Billg for all

All citizens and government employees. Please refer to page 1 post 1 on the Government and Pledge thread for updated positions and pending government posts.

Thank you
Wintersnowandcoldareamyth
Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler

docstox12 wrote:

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:THE OTI PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
Updated January 30, 2023

I pledge allegiance to OTI
Of the Off Topic Island Republic
And to Dunzoo and Damian too
And Sroc and Directors that come and go
One nation under Docstox
Indivisible except by CP
With Math23x7 and Billg for all

All citizens and government employees. Please refer to page 1 post 1 on the Government and Pledge thread for updated positions and pending government posts.

Thank you
Wintersnowandcoldareamyth
Director of the Treasury
Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler

PROCLMATION

By direct order of the Director of Parliament, herewith let it be known that the former Centralparkcantmeasuresnow aka CP has formerly changed his name to Wintersnowandcoldareamyth and will henceforth be recognized as such in Parliamentary functions and as his duites vis a vis the Director of the Treasury and Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler.In light of his magnificent work today in updating the OTI Government and Pledge thread, his annual stipend is increased by 100,000 bitbannanas as of today.
His dedication to this Island is beyond description by words from a mere mortal such as myself, but it speaks for itself down the annals of time as documented by this OTI thread going back many years.

So it is written, let it be done!

Docstox
Director of Parliament
Director OTI Sanitarium
Jan. 30, Anno Domani 2023

PS: All RE: all bitbannana  payments being made on OTI:
Please refrain from discarding the bannana peels in an improper manner. Sadly, our test robot dog in the OTI Futuristic Modes and Methodology Lab met an awful fate due to this ignorance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BlYq3jO6xw

billg315 wrote:EMERGENCY ORDER
The OTI Judiciary issues the following emergency order in the wake of the unprecedented "Year without a Winter" on the Mainland.
Whereas, an unprecedented "Year without a Winter" is occurring on the Mainland; and
Whereas, this in simple terms means, simply this winter has been largely snowless for most; and
Whereas, our long-range experts seem increasingly skeptical of any long-range pattern change that would produce any sustained periods of cold and snowy weather before March; and
Whereas, most members of this board are known to suffer various bouts of depression, anger, and insanity as a result of even minor stretches of warm or snow-less weather in the winter months, let alone almost an entire winter of such nonsense; and
Whereas, the possibility exists for a mass migration of winterless refugees from the Mainland; and
Whereas, this is an island with limited resources (coconuts and alcohol and radiation are among the only two or three I've heard mentioned) and limited huts/space; and
Whereas, the leadership of the island may need to take steps to prepare for this mass influx;
It is hereby Ordered as follows:
1. The Parliament may raise the debt limit to fund the construction of any additional housing structures that may be needed, any detention and processing facilities that may be needed, as well as to increase the budget of OTI Customs and Port Enforcement for the purposes of an orderly, secure, but welcoming, entry-process.
2. The Parliament can implement any necessary immigration and customs policies to control and facilitate the mass influx of Mainlanders without the usual rules and regulations of such things, however this temporary power will expire on April 1, 2023.
3. Anyone coming from a designated "snow-less" zone (defined as an area of the Mainland where snowfall this winter is at least 75 percent below normal) will be given priority status for the entry process. That means, in laymen's terms, they can go through an express line at the Port and Customs office.
4. The Salary of the Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor is increased by 10 percent due to the added workload, and a new bridge to his house is to be constructed to be funded from a new entry fee to be paid by any newcomers from the Mainland.
Additional Orders may be forthcoming as need.
Signed
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

billg315 wrote:EMERGENCY ORDER
The OTI Judiciary issues the following emergency order in the wake of the unprecedented "Year without a Winter" on the Mainland.
Whereas, an unprecedented "Year without a Winter" is occurring on the Mainland; and
Whereas, this in simple terms means, simply this winter has been largely snowless for most; and
Whereas, our long-range experts seem increasingly skeptical of any long-range pattern change that would produce any sustained periods of cold and snowy weather before March; and
Whereas, most members of this board are known to suffer various bouts of depression, anger, and insanity as a result of even minor stretches of warm or snow-less weather in the winter months, let alone almost an entire winter of such nonsense; and
Whereas, the possibility exists for a mass migration of winterless refugees from the Mainland; and
Whereas, this is an island with limited resources (coconuts and alcohol and radiation are among the only two or three I've heard mentioned) and limited huts/space; and
Whereas, the leadership of the island may need to take steps to prepare for this mass influx;
It is hereby Ordered as follows:
1. The Parliament may raise the debt limit to fund the construction of any additional housing structures that may be needed, any detention and processing facilities that may be needed, as well as to increase the budget of OTI Customs and Port Enforcement for the purposes of an orderly, secure, but welcoming, entry-process.
2. The Parliament can implement any necessary immigration and customs policies to control and facilitate the mass influx of Mainlanders without the usual rules and regulations of such things, however this temporary power will expire on April 1, 2023.
3. Anyone coming from a designated "snow-less" zone (defined as an area of the Mainland where snowfall this winter is at least 75 percent below normal) will be given priority status for the entry process. That means, in laymen's terms, they can go through an express line at the Port and Customs office.
4. The Salary of the Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor is increased by 10 percent due to the added workload, and a new bridge to his house is to be constructed to be funded from a new entry fee to be paid by any newcomers from the Mainland.
Additional Orders may be forthcoming as need.
Signed
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

Reading the Chief Justices post it is imperative we appoint a Director of Immigration asap, but who? Sroc? He just went through that harrowing journey and seems to know the ins and outs of OTI border penetration. Snow Man of course would be great but now that he’s made his cameo post for the year I no longer think he’s reliable.

billg315 wrote:Just returned after a quick fact-finding mission to the Mainland. It was blustery and it almost felt like . . . you know, Wall.
Anyway, I discovered on the Mainland that not only are banana peels dangerous to robot dogs, they also are YELLOW. What else is Yellow? The Sun? What does the Sun do? Warm the planet. What does warmth do? Kill snow and winter. Therefore, it is my conclusion that banana peels may be responsible for this Year without a Winter. This of course is a scientific theory. But I insist it be treated as fact and not challenged by "banana peel deniers."
I think we need to explore the immediate destruction of all banana peels posthaste. Logically, it could turn Wall back to Winter.

dkodgis wrote:An order of coconuts is coming; make sure Scott does not break into the truck and start juggling them.  CP, you are in charge of the straws. Doc, you bring the rum; you are expected to get up on the bar and karaoke with me to Vanilla Ice.  If anyone is left sober, they can invite some board members into the waiting room. It already looks and feels like Sigmund Freud's waiting room, so we are good.

Heehaw is in charge of the coconut flakes to give the bar that winter look.  Doc is in charge of vacuuming up everything at closing time.  And I, I will be too drunk to know anything.

billg315 wrote:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!

Sorry. Needed to do that and felt this was the best place.

docstox12 wrote:

billg315 wrote:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!

Sorry. Needed to do that and felt this was the best place.

Primal scream therapy at the OTI Sanitarium is very effective billg for withdrawal from the previously know "winter" into wall and wing.