OT: "Off-Topic Island"

billg315 wrote:

docstox12 wrote:A song of lament for snow lovers.

Sung to the tune of "Let it snow, Let it snow,Let it snow!"

"Oh the telleconnections are frightful,
the polar vortex spiteful,
and in case you wanted to know'
there's a crappy MJO."

"The El Nino is slowly dying,
but I think those charts are lying,
and here comes another blow,
there's a lousy NAO."

"These long range Mets are wrong,
I think they are totally lost,
cause when I woke up  last night,
there was only some dangerous frost."

"Well I wouldn't be totally lying,
if I said we will soon be crying,
so who do I have to know,
to get it to friggin' snow!"

This is awesome!

Great song Doc. How about an OTI board group trip to the Cascades where they're expecting 10-20 FEET of snow this week.

Before I die I want to go there and the Tug Hill with CP and any other board members.To see 33 to 39 inches of snow fall a day after 24 to 28 must be just incredible!!!

docstox12 wrote:A song of lament for snow lovers.

Sung to the tune of "Let it snow, Let it snow,Let it snow!"

"Oh the telleconnections are frightful,
the polar vortex spiteful,
and in case you wanted to know'
there's a crappy MJO."

"The El Nino is slowly dying,
but I think those charts are lying,
and here comes another blow,
there's a lousy NAO."

"These long range Mets are wrong,
I think they are totally lost,
cause when I woke up  last night,
there was only some dangerous frost."

"Well I wouldn't be totally lying,
if I said we will soon be crying,
so who do I have to know,
to get it to friggin' snow!"

I can't believe it took me this long to see this. My PTSS, post traumatic snow syndrome has really been acting up this week and my mind has been elsewhere. Classic, hysterical stuff Doc.

I'm staying up tonight and taking this over to the OTI hall of fame, where it will be lamenated, framed and hung in the entrance.

This is just one of the many reasons you were elected the Director of Parliament unanimously.

CP
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler

I am humbly thankful,Mystic Ruler CP, for your gracious accolades in trying to lift the spirits of totally addicted snowlovers, myself included, during these trying times of "Hell Nino". We must hold our heads high and continue to muddle through this horrible mild weather at a time of the year when snow should be present to highlight all the wonderful Christmas decorations and lights.

I will not rest and will use every tactical method I can think of, comedy included, to change the telleconnections over to a favorable snow producing pattern.

As always, your Director of OTI Parliament

December 13 Anno Domani 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eejdcPQF-k

Have a beer or glass of wine and enjoy this.

docstox12 wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eejdcPQF-k

Have a beer or glass of wine and enjoy this.

I hate you Doc. How is this supposed to make anyone feel better. I'm actually more depressed now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yfRQTSvxuU

OK, Jimmy, try this one!

docstox12 wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yfRQTSvxuU

OK, Jimmy, try this one!

God Bless You Doc. I was actually thinking to myself this morning driving into work that I should play hooky one day this or next week and go upstate to fish for trout. The timing of your video couldn't have been better. You cheered me up.

Yep, Jimmy, up in God's country the mountains of New York State in a trout stream.I can't put into word how much I love it up there!!!

Have a great day Buddy!!!

I cheered myself up watching it as well .

I have the latest report from the Bureau of Tourism that a massive influx of disgruntled and disappointed snow lovers from the Mainland have descended upon OTI to try and forget their disappointment at a lack of a White Christmas this year.

The initial stage of detoxification starts with the showing of the following clip in the OTI Golden Coconut Cinema.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9njcIEt52eg

Headline on the front page of the Island newspaper, The Daily Coconut:

                        CENTRAL PARK ZOOKEEPER OUSTED AS OFFICIAL RECORD KEEPER OF SNOW.
                         VOWS REVENGE ON ANYONE WHO INITIATED THE EFFORT!

Dateline 12/21/2015     Manhattan New York

Today, after many years of recordkeeping of snow at the Central Park Zoo, the Zookeeper was removed form his office.It was reported that physical force was used in this effort.The Zookeeper was observed yelling and screaming"You have no right, no right!!" Precinct 95 of the NY Police Department sent a special negotiating team to try and reason with the Zookeeper as he had threatened to blow up the Zoo in retaliation.It was soon established that the threat was bogus and a SWAT team was sent in to arrest and subjugate the Zookeeper and remove him from the building.Our reporter on the scene writes that the SWAT team used a tranquilizing dart at the Central Park Zoo reserved for the donkeys (jackasses).

Apparently, the efforts of a local Weatherboard, which will not be named due to possible judicial measures, was responsible for the downfall of the Zookeeper.Constant complaints by one particular member of that website caught the attention of some of the other members and a crusade, if you will, to oust the Zookeeper for alleged undermeasurement of snow totals in Central Park these many years caught the attention of some members of NOAA, the esteemed weather agency who relied upon the Zookeeper for their data in Central Park.

The incident has now threatened to blow up into a national scandal with the White House now looking into the matter.Special prosecutors have been assigned and it has been rumored that certain individuals on the not to be mentioned now but might be in the future Weather Board will be brought in to testify on the matter.

The Zookeeper is in sedation at the Bellvue Hospital for a complete mental breakdown.

A deserted island we have on our parts.  Not even Parliament has responded over the lack of snow up this point.  Even if I am under an ongoing citizen's arrest going back to last April regarding the alleged 10,000th visitor scandal, I must say it is a sad sight out here.  I look towards the horizon on the shore line here in on "Off-Topic Island" and see the hope for the "Godzilla" to make it here only to be broken up as it approaches.  It was all just a mirage.   Since it has now been over three weeks since any of the founders have spoken up, I guess everyone left.

Sadly, I have been spending 24/7 here at OTI administering the OTI Sanitarium for the Snow Deprived Deranged.We have been swamped with snowlovers all over the mainland whose loved ones,oddly many who have a disdain for snow,have had them committed here by court order for treatment.Symptoms exhibited by the patients include Model Disappointment Syndrome, a never ending lifting then crashing of the spirits as the hoped for HECS appears suddenly, then just as suddenly, the patients would say cruely, disappear from the model picture into a rainstorm or a fish storm.Other patients display Mild Temperature Malady, a daily lamenting of way above normal high and low temperatures.I have invented a treatment for this particular malady, effective albeit a bit Mideival. The patient is tied down in a chair in front of a video monitor showing a blizzard while an ice pack is fixed onto the patients head.Patients exhibit listlessness, lamenting,inability to sleep,non-stop viewing of weather teleconnection models, Raynoitis, an unstoppable viewing of weather video and a general dis-connection from the reality of which they consider unbearable.......never ending mild and snowless winter conditions.

Loved ones on the Mainland can be assured that there family members being treated here will be returned to them in an utmost state of mental health.As soon as I can recruit staff members to take over my duties here, I will return to re-instate Parliament, which was temporarily disbanded as a result of the massive epidemic of Snow Deprived Derangement Syndrome.The discipline and devotion displayed by all OTI Citizens during this trying time rises as a shining star in the annals of OTI, nay, HUMAN history.

I have been so neglectful in my citizen duties as a member of the OTI. I must admit I was one of the patients being treated for Snow Deprived Syndrome but I am better now (cough). Doc, your parody of  "Let it Snow" made me spew all over my NEW laptop. I guess everything needs a christening. As to the Zookeeper; would it be out of line to nominate a certain member of this board who, albeit, may have had something to do with the ouster of the zookeeper as a replacement? After testifying before Congress of course.  And lastly, there is a certain hollow log that I have had my eye on for a while. My banana hammock is none too comfortable and I am looking for a new place to rest my head. Where is Snowman?

So glad your case of SDS is now on the mend my dearest Taffy.As Dutchess of OTI, you can appropriate any hollow log/bannana/coconut tree your heart desires.You are Royalty on this Island.

As to your request on a Zookeeper replacement, I will write this down and send it by carrier pigeon to Emperor Frank for his consideration.In matters like that, we here at OTI always involve Frank in these monumental decisions.

Of course, this is all to be tabled and discussed after the SDS epidemic subsides and Parliament reconvenes to begin ordinary governance of the Island.One measurable snowstorm should do the trick.Keep your eye out for an EXTRA edition of the OTI Daily Coconut newspaper for all the details.

Good morning to all of my fellow Islander's. Taffy I really appreciate your thoughtfulness to ask about me. My other OTI friends (I won't mention any names Doc, Cp and Mug's  lol) have completely forgotten about me. Now I don't really blame them because so far this Winter has been shall we say BORING and UNEVENTFUL and they are all probably in a snow less Winter funk. Yet at my location I did end up with about an inch or so with that last two minor events. Yes I know it's not worth bragging about, but at least it's something.

I haven't been on much because my Mom was having some health issues and I've been busy taking care of things for her, but now Mom is doing much better. My wife has also had some health issues which led to a few surgery's, but now she is doing very well. I've also just returned to work after my shoulder surgery and have been struggling to perform my job duties. My doctor lost his mind on my last visit to him and returned me to work prematurely against my physical therapist's recommendation to let me stay out rehab some more because I wouldn't be strong enough to perform my job functions. Well she was absolutely right. I've been having a hard time performing certain tasks.
Plus while I was out some one in our Human Resource Dept. decided to try and terminate me for being out sick. All I can say is thank God for being in a union. So now that I'm back their trying to figure out other ways to get rid of me. So I've been trying to dodge all the land mines they have set for me. Needless to say things have been very stressful. I have no fear though that I will prevail.

I haven't really missed much in the weather department that's for sure. This Winter has been very disappointing so far. But I will not throw in the towel like some of our other members are starting to think about doing. I will wait until our crack team of weather people (Frank, Sroc, Mugs and all the other members on this board that contribute to giving us accurate forecasts) tell me put a fork in this Winter it's done.
 I will try to perform my duties on the OTI as best as I can under the circumstances and promise to contribute more often on this GREAT board and the OTI. I just want to end by saying hi to Doc, Cp, Mug's and all the other nice people on the island that make this a nice escape from our daily stress. Thanks again Taffy for your thoughtfulness. I've missed you guy's and gal's. I'll see you all soon.

P.S. Doc your song is very funny. It made my sides hurt from laughing. I wish I had your talent to come up with such GREAT stuff.

Dear fellow OTI citizens, your exiled King Snow Weenie has been neglectfully wrong. Whilst on tour and visiting family and friends of this great island, I have learned a great deal of why it is not snowing and winter has sucked like a lemon. The dear lovely lady that I so graciously handed my power too Star left at the beginning of April and took her band of hottest along with her. I can only suspect from talking to the common folk that she was fed up with her pseudo husband CP. Fed up with the slavery chores and stories of the Central Park Zookeeper addiction, how he never measured correctly and he has fudged numbers adding to the global warming wave. As you can see her escape from this treachery lifestyle has caused this such said winter. Doc I applaud you for all the work you have done her on OTI and the care and love you show to those who are citizens and immigrants. SDD is rampant at this point in winter and I feel we may have another wave or influx of immigrants to our island come the end of this month, a true fear of mine. I ask if we have enough services to help those who will seek refuge here and food supplies - cocunuts, bannas, tea etc.
Sectors 7,8,9 are all doing well in coping with is abysmal winter. They have been plailying Jimmy buffet music, cards, and dancing like it's 1999. They I think have cracked to be quote honest and have thrown in the towek, how do I know? We Algae was there leading the card game of pinnacle , hearts and uno.
It is wonderful to see snow man back and for the record I did ask about ye at the beginning if winter and just last week fir the temperature war. I am sorry to hear about your mom and wife and hope they are doing well or as well as can be and Snow this is why unions are so important. I too had such with my bosses as a teacher and they tried to spin a pebble into a mountain. Funny thing is the leader who was my principal is in a heap of poop at his new job. They district called me to find out what he tried to do cause he us doing the same to a few teachers there but their union is much stronger.anyway, glad to see u back my friend and I hope you are feeling better too.
I myself miss Star and her friends and could use a nice cuddle or snuggle. For carrying such weight of this wretched winter, I had surgery yesterday for a lower abdominal hernia so I am recouping on my couch taking perks to help ease the pain of not 9nly the surgery, but this winter!!
Carry on all and positive juju is neededicated to help Frank's second half comeback work.

SNOW MAN wrote:Good morning to all of my fellow Islander's. Taffy I really appreciate your thoughtfulness to ask about me. My other OTI friends (I won't mention any names Doc, Cp and Mug's  lol) have completely forgotten about me. Now I don't really blame them because so far this Winter has been shall we say BORING and UNEVENTFUL and they are all probably in a snow less Winter funk. Yet at my location I did end up with about an inch or so with that last two minor events. Yes I know it's not worth bragging about, but at least it's something.

I haven't been on much because my Mom was having some health issues and I've been busy taking care of things for her, but now Mom is doing much better. My wife has also had some health issues which led to a few surgery's, but now she is doing very well. I've also just returned to work after my shoulder surgery and have been struggling to perform my job duties. My doctor lost his mind on my last visit to him and returned me to work prematurely against my physical therapist's recommendation to let me stay out rehab some more because I wouldn't be strong enough to perform my job functions. Well she was absolutely right. I've been having a hard time performing certain tasks.
Plus while I was out some one in our Human Resource Dept. decided to try and terminate me for being out sick. All I can say is thank God for being in a union. So now that I'm back their trying to figure out other ways to get rid of me. So I've been trying to dodge all the land mines they have set for me. Needless to say things have been very stressful. I have no fear though that I will prevail.

I haven't really missed much in the weather department that's for sure. This Winter has been very disappointing so far. But I will not throw in the towel like some of our other members are starting to think about doing. I will wait until our crack team of weather people (Frank, Sroc, Mugs and all the other members on this board that contribute to giving us accurate forecasts) tell me put a fork in this Winter it's done.
 I will try to perform my duties on the OTI as best as I can under the circumstances and promise to contribute more often on this GREAT board and the OTI. I just want to end by saying hi to Doc, Cp, Mug's and all the other nice people on the island that make this a nice escape from our daily stress. Thanks again Taffy for your thoughtfulness. I've missed you guy's and gal's. I'll see you all soon.

P.S. Doc your song is very funny. It made my sides hurt from laughing. I wish I had your talent to come up with such GREAT stuff.

This is truly a monumental day here at OTI with the communication from you, Lord Snow and our beloved King Snow Weenie Mugsy.

Yes,Snow, you are right for mentioning my temporarily forgetting you but , as Mugsy mentioned, the massive influx here from the SDD Epidemic of 2016 has had me running in circles and having many sleepless nights trying to figure out the allocation of Island resources to help these unfortunate souls.You see, Snow, I as Director of Parliament, enforce an immigration rule that states EVERYBODY is welcome on our Island for medical care or recreation.

I was sad reading about the medical issues you and your wife are going through but am very glad about hearing Mom is doing well.You are a good son,Lord Snow.I care for my 95 year old Mom and spend two days a week at her home helping her out.

Yes, thank God for the union!! My Dad was IBEW Local 3 starting out repairing subway cars at 207 St Yard and then at NYC Health and Hospitals.The union was good to him and my family after he passed.We at OTI have many unions including Coconut Pickers Local23, Bananna Peelers 27 and Sand Cleaners Local 15.

Remember as hard hearted the Mainland can be, here at OTI is a tropical paradise that your benevolent leader, Docstox, has help to create, where laughter and happiness prevail.

May a N and W snowstorm come our way.

Your Pal,

Docstox

amugs wrote:Dear fellow OTI citizens, your exiled King Snow Weenie has been neglectfully wrong. Whilst on tour and visiting family and friends of this great island, I have learned a great deal of why it is not snowing and winter has sucked like a lemon. The dear lovely lady that I so graciously handed my power too Star left at the beginning of April and took her band of hottest along with her. I can only suspect from talking to the common folk that she was fed up with her pseudo husband CP. Fed up with the slavery chores and stories of the Central Park Zookeeper addiction, how he never measured correctly and he has fudged numbers adding to the global warming wave. As you can see her escape from this treachery lifestyle has caused  this such said winter. Doc I applaud you for all the work you have done her on OTI and the care and love you show to those who are citizens and immigrants. SDD is rampant at this point in winter and I feel we may have another wave or influx of immigrants to our island come the end of this month, a true fear of mine. I ask if we have enough services to help those who will seek refuge here and food supplies - cocunuts, bannas, tea etc.
Sectors 7,8,9 are all doing well in coping with is abysmal winter. They have been plailying Jimmy buffet music, cards,  and  dancing like it's 1999. They I think have cracked to be quote honest and have thrown in the towek, how do I know?  We Algae was there leading the card game of pinnacle , hearts and uno.
It is wonderful to see snow man back and for the record I did ask about ye at the beginning if winter and just last week fir the temperature war. I am sorry to hear about your mom and wife and hope they are doing well or as well as can be and Snow this is why unions are so important. I too had such with my bosses as a teacher and they tried to spin a pebble into a mountain. Funny thing is the leader who was my principal is in a heap of poop at his new job. They district called me to find out what he tried to do cause he us doing the same to a few teachers there but their union is much stronger.anyway, glad to see u back my friend and I hope you are feeling better too.
I myself miss Star and her friends and could use a nice cuddle or snuggle. For carrying such weight of this wretched  winter,  I had surgery yesterday for a lower abdominal hernia so I am recouping on my couch taking perks to help ease the pain of not 9nly the surgery, but this winter!!
Carry on all and positive juju is neededicated to help Frank's second half comeback work.

My Dear King Snow Weenie, lets sit down and share a beer or two at OTI!

You are a cherished founder recognized by everybody on the Island.So glad you have returned to make a thorough inspection tour! Yes, I have discreetly met with Star and she has confirmed her feelings ofher and CP's relationship and if I should deign to offer advice to him it would be this....better buy Star a truckload of flowers...FAST!

We will set up a special recovery unit on our most sunny and beautiful Sector 1 and have you cared for by our most "attentive" and gorgeous Island Honeys to help your recovery in a speedy manner.

I will say to cheer you up, that all your hard work with the Long Range Crew on the Mainland is beginning to bear some fruit.My Mainland Estate reported in yesterday with an inch of the white gold you so eloquently describe in your writings.My staff there had to resort to sweeping the walks with a broom!!! Also, some future threats are beginning to appear.By the force of your powerful will,I know these snow threats will come to fruition!

So, rest up, have a coconut or bannana Daiquiri, soak up the sun and attention of the Director of Parliaments personal staff, and recover quickly.I must get back to my duties at the sanitarium aiding the unfortunate Mainlander affected by SDD.

Oh, and tell Al to cut me into one of those Hearts Tournaments he is hosting in sector 3!

Here is the girl I saved you a seat next to at the card game.


Oh and here is SROC snow angel.mate

These girls were part of my enterouge as I toured sector 7,8,9. I found on my way here in Amarillo,TX back in early Dec. They wanted to see what this OTI island, paradise was all about. Autumn, Bobi, Summer, Chelsea, Gloria and June are their names.

amugs wrote:Here is the girl I saved you a seat next to at the card game.


Oh and here is SROC snow angel.mate

If that girl sits next to me at a poker game I'll be walking out carrying a barrell!

amugs wrote:These girls were part of my enterouge as I toured sector 7,8,9. I found on my way here in Amarillo,TX back in early Dec. They wanted to see what this OTI island, paradise was all about. Autumn, Bobi, Summer, Chelsea, Gloria and June are their names.

Tell them they have lifetime free tourist visas on OTI and to look up Docstox at the Parliament building to discuss special advantages on touring the Island.

Dirty old Snowmen!

Taffy wrote:


Dirty old Snowmen!

Thank God, you, the Dutchess of OTI, are here to maintain some decorum on this Island of Passion,LOL!

I think SROC will be doing snow angels with



JUST SAYIN'