OT: "Off-Topic Island"

With all due respect CP, the only regret you should ever have about overdoing it is that you didn't overdo it enough.

Gentlemen,

As I sit here in the Coconut Lounge, bereft of hope for the mainland, I can not help but stare with gratitude into the bottom of my glass. For without our beloved OTI, all would surely spiral downward to a place so dark that even the most optimistic of souls would surrender to despair. And yet here we remain steadfast and true. Martial law has been averted. CP's party will surely be an unqualified success and we will find our strength and our collective will renewed. Allow me at this time to thank our leaders for their perseverance through these troubling times. I raise my glass to you all. Your commitment to our cause is unparalleled and should serve as an example to all. God bless OTI.

Syosnow94 here early at the party for CP. Very few people in the cocunut lounge at the current moment, but those that are here I do not know if this crew of people are the result of aresian as our new bouncer, but there appears to be a contingent of 5 or so 20 something Russian Girls wearing nothing, (AND I MEAN NOTHING) but a thong with the smallest detailed drawings of Central Park on them. You need to get REAL CLOSE to see the drawings. Also each one of them is carrying a Red Yardstick insisting that they will teach CP how to measure anything he wants upon his arrival. I must say the booze is flowing freely and everyone seems to be behaving so far. However our bouncer keeps disappearing into the back storage room, and each time he re-appears his clothing is slightly rearranged!!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPIE!!!!!

(BURP)

Very very very very to see people. The Asian gave me glass something, F warm sh!!t, F morality weather, F OOOTI,

Doc Parli and snoyos, whazzz up dudes, where's lightning hail and the court guy? ASIAN you the F'ng bessssttttt!!

SNOWS MANS come out of hiding, MUGS you an OTTTIIAN you can deenie who you, MATT161Xpie stop torching

Play it Loud ASIIIIIIAAAAAAAANNN!!!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UIB9Y4OFPs

Gentlemen, it's great to see you all here at the Coconut Lounge. I apologize for my frequent disappearances, but I try to be as hands on with the staff as I can be. Fortunately for me, they like to reciprocate. To CP, our guest of honor, I asked several of our staffers to show you special attention, a large part of why the security cameras are off for the evening. Eat, drink and be merry, gentleman for this winter we have fried.

Well what a wonderful party. Happy to report I was released from the Sanitarium and feel much better. I must say all this warm weather on the Mainland is giving me the vapors. Anyway with martial law averted and order restored I will begin work on my next legal brief. It may be filed tomorrow, if I'm not too hung over.

Docstox showed up in a cowboy hat.

Some of our "patrons"

god Bless the USA and the cocunut Lounge

Amen to that, Syo.

syosnow94 wrote:
Docstox showed up in a cowboy hat.  

Some of our "patrons"

god Bless the USA and the cocunut Lounge

HOT DAMN!!!!!!!

Oh my head is killing me.

Great party but it's back to the Sanitarium for me. Other than Syos friends and the Aresians helpers there are way to many things that have to be unseen but isn't that what a morality free zone is all about. Another good memory bleaching and I'll be ready for government duty which really only takes about one tenth of ones brain power so I'm not concerned about the long term effects.

Thanks again one and all. God bless you all and God bless OTI.

I can barely type this but what a BLAST at the Coconut Lounge, a tip o' my cowboy hat to Syos and Aresian for setting up the best party in OTI History, all in honor of our beloved Director of the Treasury and Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler,CP, a Founding Father of OTI.We at the Sanitarium will use extra bleach after that party!

We will all be back on duty shortly and will be closely monitoring these last few chances for the Mainland to see our beloved white gold, as Former King Mugsy would eloquently state.Our Cheif Justice and Excellent Inquisitor Billg is back at his post examining areas where OTI can benefit which is great news as well.

As you said CP, God Bless OTI and all its wonderful Directors and Citizens.Now,did you see the aspirins??????

I awoke this morning with my face in a puddle of drool and a bikini bottom as an eye patch. I can't remember anything I said or did last night which means it was one hell of a party. The biggest perk to being employed at the lounge is that all of things that are seen and done here are not to be bleached away, but rather to be kept and used as job experience. Thanks to Syo for bringing extra guests and remember that the Coconut Lounge is always open and ready to welcome visitors and residents alike with our unique brand of hospitality. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find my pants.

TheAresian wrote:I awoke this morning with my face in a puddle of drool and a bikini bottom as an eye patch. I can't remember anything I said or did last night which means it was one hell of a party. The biggest perk to being employed at the lounge is that all of things that are seen and done here are not to be bleached away, but rather to be kept and used as job experience. Thanks to Syo for bringing extra guests and remember that the Coconut Lounge is always open and ready to welcome visitors and residents alike with our unique brand of hospitality. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find my pants.

Not a peep from anyone on the Island for over 48 hours, that party brought decadence to a new level.

I like a good time as much as the next guy, but we may have to consider some kind of limitations on these Coconut Lounge bashes. If we were attacked by the extremist group OSIS (Otian Sectarian Island Separatists) during one of our celebrations OTI would be defenseless.  I mean how can we defend our Island when the Head Bouncer doesn't have on pants and can only see out of one eye?

CP CantMeasureSnow
Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler
Director of the Treasury

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:

TheAresian wrote:I awoke this morning with my face in a puddle of drool and a bikini bottom as an eye patch. I can't remember anything I said or did last night which means it was one hell of a party. The biggest perk to being employed at the lounge is that all of things that are seen and done here are not to be bleached away, but rather to be kept and used as job experience. Thanks to Syo for bringing extra guests and remember that the Coconut Lounge is always open and ready to welcome visitors and residents alike with our unique brand of hospitality. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find my pants.

Not a peep from anyone on the Island for over 48 hours, that party brought decadence to a new level.

I like a good time as much as the next guy, but we may have to consider some kind of limitations on these Coconut Lounge bashes. If we were attacked by the extremist group OSIS (Otian Sectarian Island Separatists) during one of our celebrations OTI would be defenseless.  I mean how can we defend our Island when the Head Bouncer doesn't have on pants and can only see out of one eye.

Easy, CP, we all turn and breathe on the enemy incapacitating them!

I am more than mildly chagrined to admit that I found my pants in a tree with a belt made entire of coconut hair and drink umbrellas. As for an OSIS invasion, any group that could pass on a party like that is deranged beyond the point of reason. I return to my duties sober and alert for any signs of danger. Thank God for blackouts or I'd probably be in the sanitarium for a week of bleaching.

Today while conducting my rounds at the Sanitarium I came across a "patient" taking a nap after ingesting some of my new far-eastern medication.  I saw this polaroid protruding from their pocket and upon further inspection I believe it to be a photo of our bouncer The Aresian passed out on a couch in the Cocunut Lounge immediately following this weekends' bash.  Since the photo is so compromising I tried to cover as much of his face as possible.  

syosnow94 wrote:Today while conducting my rounds at the Sanitarium I came across a "patient" taking a nap after ingesting some of my new far-eastern medication.  I saw this polaroid protruding from their pocket and upon further inspection I believe it to be a photo of our bouncer The Aresian passed out on a couch in the Cocunut Lounge immediately following this weekends' bash.  Since the photo is so compromising I tried to cover as much of his face as possible.    

Photos like that are the reason I'm glad I can never remember what I did the night before. But, give me credit, I make a great model for a troll rack.

TheAresian wrote:

syosnow94 wrote:Today while conducting my rounds at the Sanitarium I came across a "patient" taking a nap after ingesting some of my new far-eastern medication.  I saw this polaroid protruding from their pocket and upon further inspection I believe it to be a photo of our bouncer The Aresian passed out on a couch in the Cocunut Lounge immediately following this weekends' bash.  Since the photo is so compromising I tried to cover as much of his face as possible.    

Photos like that are the reason I'm glad I can never remember what I did the night before. But, give me credit, I make a great model for a troll rack.

Don't worry there are a lot worse photos of Syos from his first weekend at the Coconut Lounge. Fortunately J Edgar SNOWMAN keeps all the photos from the Coconut Lounge under lock and key. However as the Grand High Exalted Mystique Ruler I am forced to review the photos he accumulates from time to time. There are several of myself that if released would end my political career on OTI. It's just another reason I've had my memory bleached at the Sanitarium several times through the years.

Thankfully, J Edgar SNOW MAN keeps this evidence under secure management although I feel the Citizens of OTI would be sympathetic to the hi jinks occuring at the Coconut Lounge as they realize the severe pressure Directors of OTI in all capacities are under.To wit, I bring up Mugsy,Taffy and Grselig, whose disappearances are an example of what I have just presented.We recently gained Independence granted by Emperor Frank and, as such, are somewhat more autonomous, but prior to that the pressure from the Mainland was always present, the slightest mishap of governance here on OTI could have resulted in immediate banishment form the Mainland Empire.With all of this in mind,the recent events at the Coconut Lounge,a 'blowing off steam" situation, is readily understood and accepted.

In fact, to piggyback on doc's point, I requested that security cameras be turned off so as to allow relaxation unfettered by the fear of potential incrimination by activities that could be construed to be of a nature such that action by either OTI officials and/or the Mainland authorities be mandatory lest our governing body be deemed to have lost control over the island and/or its inhabitants. Given the extreme pressures exerted upon all residents both here and on the Mainland from what can only be classified as a trying winter season, the therapeutic necessity of our gathering should be so readily apparent to even the most casual of observers as to be unquestionable. Having said that, our autonomy, indeed our very existence, is and shall remain solely dependent upon the benevolence and good humor of our beloved Emperor Frank, long may he reign, and therefore remains a matter of primary importance to the governing body of our beloved island. Their diligence and discretion have led us through a crisis that threatened our very way of life. But I digress. In fact, I have now forgotten what it was that I meant to say in the first place. Oh well, back to work. And you might not want to pay attention to security cameras today. I'm judging a contest that...well..... I suppose it's better left unsaid.

I know he's only been on the job about a week but I would like to nominate theAresian, to be put before Parliament for approval of course, as the "Director of the Coconut Lounge" which I would like to make a cabinet position, hereby eliminating the position of Head Bouncer.

I feel as the Director he can still be the acting Head Bouncer as well as the Head Chef. Since our current "Culinary Arts Hospitality Head Person" seems to be AWOL and will only post on the Mainland the Coconut Lounge menu has grown quite stale. One can only consume so many mango and coconut wraps in a day chased down by a banana smoothie. I'm not sure if that would overlap any existing positions so I leave the details to our esteemed Director of Parliament.

BTW - I received a very ominous warning from OSIS (OTIan Sectarian Island Separatists) this morning. It said and I quote, "Should the Coconut Lounge continue as a morality free zone we the member of OSIS will wage a holy fruit war with the pagan citizens of OTI. If you want to continue in your decadent ways prepare to be attacked and violated by your own currency".

I woke up this morning with a banana in places it was not meant to be with this note attached to my hut door. Apparently this group, which from their note appears at this time to be a group of just one is to be taken seriously. SNOWMAN where are you, you're our only hope.

Help us, SNOW-bi Wan. You're our only hope.

CPcantmeasuresnow wrote:I know he's only been on the job about a week but I would like to nominate theAresian, to be put before Parliament for approval of course, as the "Director of the Coconut Lounge" which I would like to make a cabinet position, hereby eliminating the position of Head Bouncer.

I feel as the Director he can still be the acting Head Bouncer as well as the Head Chef. Since our current "Culinary Arts Hospitality Head Person" seems to be AWOL and will only post on the Mainland the Coconut Lounge menu has grown quite stale. One can only consume so many mango and coconut wraps in a day chased down by a banana smoothie. I'm not sure if that would overlap any existing positions so I leave the details to our esteemed Director of Parliament.

BTW - I received a very ominous warning from OSIS (OTIan Sectarian Island Separatists) this morning. It said and I quote, "Should the Coconut Lounge continue as a morality free zone we the member of OSIS will wage a holy fruit war with the pagan citizens of OTI. If you want to continue in your decadent ways prepare to be attacked and violated by your own currency".

I woke up this morning with a banana in places it was not meant to be with this note attached to my hut door. Apparently this group, which from their note appears at this time to be a group of just one is to be taken seriously. SNOWMAN where are you, you're our only hope.

CP, a video was sent to me at Parliament Building of a black hooded OSIS operative cutting the top off of a bannana.I will send the film to SNOW MAN for his analysis and instructions.With Aresian as Director of the Coconut Lounge and Parliament supplying every need and effort to him, we can assure that this will be a morality free zone in perpetutum! No OSIS thugs will ever intimidate or threaten that status, over my cold dead body!!!

Parliament grants IMMEDIATELY Aresians promotion as a Director formally assuming the title of Head Bouncer and grants him authority to assume the role of Head Chef which Greslig has unceremoniously abandoned.Your intuitive skill at recognizing candidates for OTI Citizenship and Directorship, your statement that Aresian ( "has OTI written all over him") never ceases to amaze Parliament and you, CP, will go down in the annals of OTI History as George Washington and Benjamin Franklin have in the Mainland.

JUDICIAL ORDER
Whereas, there has been a recent spike in OSIS activity including banana torture, mango mutilation, and coconut conspiracies; and
Whereas, members of OSIS have engaged in a campaign of terroristic threats against island inhabitants; and
Whereas, OSIS is on the OTI Judicial List of known terrorist organizations; and
Whereas, if OSIS continues to destroy bananas, mangos and coconuts and place them in places they should not be, we may have to switch to "cow currency" which besides being impractical is probably a threat to further enhance the global warming that has caused much instability on the island this winter; and
Whereas, the warm, largely snow-less winter has caused a spike in mainland immigration to this island, thereby making it easier for OSIS to enter in stealth to plot their nefarious plots; and
Whereas, this is a clear and present danger to the safety and security of this island, its inhabitants, its businesses (i.e. the Coconut Lounge) and our economic stability;
Therefore it is ORDERED as follows:
1. Island Security is hereby authorized to implement EXTREME VETTING for any mainland visitors entering the island;
2. Island Security is hereby authorized to treat OSIS as enemy combatants outside the realm of OTI legal protections;
3. A new detention facility, on the sub-island of OTITMO, is authorized for the temporary or permanent detention of confirmed OSIS members.
Respectfully Submitted,
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

billg315 wrote:JUDICIAL ORDER
Whereas, there has been a recent spike in OSIS activity including banana torture, mango mutilation, and coconut conspiracies; and
Whereas, members of OSIS have engaged in a campaign of terroristic threats against island inhabitants; and
Whereas, OSIS is on the OTI Judicial List of known terrorist organizations; and
Whereas, if OSIS continues to destroy bananas, mangos and coconuts and place them in places they should not be, we may have to switch to "cow currency" which besides being impractical is probably a threat to further enhance the global warming that has caused much instability on the island this winter; and
Whereas, the warm, largely snow-less winter has caused a spike in mainland immigration to this island, thereby making it easier for OSIS to enter in stealth to plot their nefarious plots; and
Whereas, this is a clear and present danger to the safety and security of this island, its inhabitants, its businesses (i.e. the Coconut Lounge) and our economic stability;
Therefore it is ORDERED as follows:
1. Island Security is hereby authorized to implement EXTREME VETTING for any mainland visitors entering the island;
2. Island Security is hereby authorized to treat OSIS as enemy combatants outside the realm of OTI legal protections;
3. A new detention facility, on the sub-island of OTITMO, is authorized for the temporary or permanent detention of confirmed OSIS members.
Respectfully Submitted,
Billg315
Chief Justice and Excellent Inquisitor

OTITMO

Pure genius and worthy of entering OTI Hall Of Fame posts on the first ballot.

I believe Extreme Vetting and classifying human beings as Enemy "Combatants" makes us all Xenophobic and Racist.